Absurdist Twitter • Page 225

No good can come from answering a phone call from someone you don't know, the weirdos are the one who actually have to talk to spammers like a chump

 

I firmly believe Apple should have a feature where if a number calls you that's not in your contact list, a Google search of the number is automatically pulled up on the bottom half of your screen to give you an idea before you hit answer/end.

 

if they're not willing to leave a voicemail, they don't need an answer

Also raisins are great!!!

 

I like part 1 of this tweet, not part 2, for the record.

 

lol how have I never seen this until now wtf

 

Oh my god, that might give this Peter King classic a run for its money...

 

They are but the idea of a raisin making someone a cuck still made me laugh

 

And with the Stormy Daniels news today, here’s one from January 2018.

 

I have a request for someone -- there's one of these Don't Judge videos where two guys do it and when they re-appear they're in full on furry outfits. Please find it for me please for the love of god, it's the greatest video ever

 

I actually searched to find that scientist tweet so that I could retweet it (like, the original one) but she must have deleted it :(

 

how do I make this my ringtone

and why is that man in the front so angry