Brand New Band • Page 827

I've already addressed the "perspective" angle. Out of the 49 posts you have, look at the % that are arguing, stringently, for this band and reconsider what you're doing.

 

I was going to say there was a couple problems with this article, but actually the whole article is a problem. I'm probably wasting my time, but here are just a few, if you're wondering what the problem is besides the shift and or caps lock key being broken. This is extremely long, but i want to address it because I fear and have witnessed a lot of people making the same points as said in this article and that really makes me nervous.

- "Harassed by people offended by his actions of harassment (do you see the irony here? do you see where this is going?)" equating wanting Jesse to take responsibility for his actions to harassment, and especially to abusing young women, is just plain out wrong.
-"we should let him heal, let him speak, and we should applaud him for the bravery it takes to be vulnerable and honest." I think, in general, people think there's something brave about writing wrongs. It's not, it's doing the right thing. i guess that depends on people's views. But to go further with this, he wasn't honest, he never admitted all that he did (which you can say is for legal issues and whatever, I don't particularly care why.) Under no circumstances should we be applauding abusers for, well, apologizing for something they shouldn't have done in the first place. It's insulting to the victims, plain and simple.
-" for the last week or so, i’ve been wondering who ever left it up to us to decide how sincere another’s words are? because as far as i’m concerned, it is not up to us to decide. it never was. it never will be. it shouldn’t ever be." Maybe it's not up to the general public, but anyone who's dealt with abuse know those words and know they were manipulative. And even more focused, some victims have said it was a crappy apology, and as mentioned earlier, indirect, so I think they can decide.
-"we’re taking the words of women whom we don’t know personally, but refusing the words of a man’s apology whom we don’t know any better.' Do I even have to go into the problem with this?
-"maybe one of the problems we’re having here is that for all of these years, we didn’t see Jesse as a complex human being with complex emotions and issues. we put him on a pedestal and worshiped him, and we’re devastated to see that he is not the god we once made him out to be, that he’s imperfect and that he has royally fucked up in his lifetime." This is one of the other points i've seen other people bring up, and it really, really bothers me. Jesse was put on a pedestal, yes, some people compared him to a God and such. But what he did is not a typical human mistake. It's not a slip up. What he did, and what the actions of many abusers are, are carefully calculated. They're planned. He continued on this for years. He did this to multiple people. It's bad, but it's not a mistake. Fucked up royally is an understatement.
-" it’s how you pick yourself up after you realize what you’ve done that sets you apart. i think that’s more heroic than never having fucked up at all." They mention an apology doesn't make everything okay, but what else has Jesse done? You might ask, what could anyone do in this situation, and I think taking a step back is. Yes, many, many people have abused power. Different levels and different situations. Each one should be treated differently. In this one, I think he needs to handle it privately and away from a platform. We all mess up, and a big important part is knowing when you have, or acting accordingly when people tell you you have. Jesse probably knew he had before these women reached out to him, did not act accordingly. He's not acting accordingly now either. One example is not telling people to stand down and not harass the victims, but there's much more he could have done. Overall, I think Jesse was aware of his wrong doings, and continued them anyway, which is enough for me.

Honestly, if I read anymore, this comment is going to grow twice as long as it is, is way too long already and I deleted much of it, and I probably shouldn't have wasted my time with it. I don't want to act like I'm some moral highground, and apologize if it comes off that way. I'm mostly just a pissed off abuse victim and someone who's feminine aligned sick of seeing men constantly get passes for these things. The "we've all done bad things so only god can judge him" does not help anyone learn from their actions, the thing this person seems to advocate for. While people should have time to learn and heal, and I believe in restorative justice, part of that is knowing social consequences.

Sorry, once again, know I'm largely preaching to a choir here.

 

skimmed that trash article right up until I saw her literally use the phrase 'coloured people'

f u c k
o f f
i n t o
t h e
s u n

 

Have I listened to SF a few times since this stuff came out? Yes. But how asinine do you have to be to go out of your way to try to rationalize and defend Jesse and the band. Especially online. Sure the band can still having meaning to you, I get that, but it’s crazy how quick people are to try to pass off something because it makes them uncomfortable. How about we see how this year plays out before we just turn the other way and let Jesse off the hook? I can live without shitty defense pieces until maybe we have some more perspective. Even then they’ll probably be as tasteless as that article.

 

Seconding the Dustin Kensrue comfort. I dove into both of his solo records after the news hit.

 

If you would've told me 5 months ago that I would go 2 and a half months (and counting) without listening to or having the urge to listen to a Brand New album I would've told you that you were out of your mind.

Honestly, only the first week or so was rough and tempting. Ever since then, I actively forget that BN exists despite them being my favorite band for 5 years.

 

Idk where else to post this, the Papa Roach thread seemed appropriate

 

I've said this before, and I'll say it again...I sincerely appreciate your avatar.

 

The only "good" that has come out of this terrible news is that it has forced me to invest more time/energy into other bands outside of BN. This in no way justifies the gross behavior of JL or anything like that, but if I had to identify any shred of a silver lining in all of this, it would be that I've developed more appreciation for bands like mewithoutYou, La Dispute, LVL Up, Oso Oso, & Built to Spill to name a few.

Still searching for a way to appreciate Papa Roach though...

 

check out Young and Heartless, record "Stay Away" i know you usually like my recs

 

I have yet to listen to them but have definitely have had the urge to listen to them... their records were just such a big part of my life.

 

I've listened to Devil onward. Deja was the weirdest for me, with the timeline seemingly happening around that time, and some of the more lyrically content of those records. I feel Devil, Daisy, and SF all start to correlate with some form of redemption, or questioning such.

 

I still listen. I've never been a big deja fan and yfw is 90 percent suck. Jesse Lacey sucks though

 

Didn't one of the victims say it went on for like a decade though? Which would mean Jesse was 23-33 treating these women like shit? So like right after daisy? Seems like an arbitrary line to draw in the sand at deja if that's the case

 

This is exactly where I’m at.

 

i didn't see this new article posted
Moving on After Brand New

 

Yeah, I had mentioned I wasn't completely sure about the timeline, but I was talking more of the lyrics and tone. I think we see the band's biggest change from Deja-Devil, with Devil being a lot darker. I was referring to that against the Deja, not specifically a line between the two, but a change in mentality when writing. I think learning about these events uncovers some of the lyrics as well. I've been able to pop back to Devil on, maybe it's the arrogance in Deja, that keeps me from listening again at the moment.

 

“The longer I thought about it, the clearer it became that, though Brand New’s music taught me how to cope with personal struggles for nearly two decades, it wasn’t the one doing the heavy lifting. I did that work. You probably did the same for yourself, too.”

YES. I love that, and it certainly hasn’t been said enough.

 

Nina is a fantastic writer. I wrote with her years ago at Under The Gun Review and always was super into her stuff, she's been killing it for a bit now.

 

I had a feeling Nina would use that pull quote from me. I think she did a great job with this.

 

I only got really into them with the release of SF so I didn't have a hard time at all cutting them out


The only time I'd listen to them now is as....... a last resort

 

@Jason Tate reminded me of this in the Science Fiction thread when I struggled a lot with the news breaking. It's definitely something essential to internalise, and helped me find inner strength I didn't know I had. It's difficult to remember when you're particularly fragile. Now I remind my sister's friends and other people younger than me who are vulnerable that they're the ones saving and helping themselves - the music gives them a push and can inspire them, but an artist doesn't save you.

 

When Spotify hits me with "recommended songs" at the end of a playlist or album they always throw me BN songs. Like a lot. I've skipped every single one. Maybe one day I'll crave a certain song and put it on, but it's been easier than I thought it would be so far. I won't shame anyone for continuing to listen, but whenever those songs come on unexpectedly it's been an automatic skip from me. Just haven't thought about any of the songs in a while.

 

Same Logic came on for me as well in shuffle. I let it play and the lyrical content seems more self-referential to me now for Jesse. Though writing a pity party song probably only hurt people he has abused before more, so I don't like it. He's my biggest letdown in music ever. I miss the connection I had with their music. I know it's difficult, if not impossible, to share a link like that with a band you grew up with vs one I would or could find in my now mid 20's. But i'm the most optimistic in life that i've been in probably months so who knows. Maybe some day in a very distant future he feels brave enough to own up to what he refused to address.

 

I think Vinny wrote the lyrics to that one actually