Aziz Ansari Responds to Accusations • Page 6

If you're saying that everything that could possibly be said about this topic, was said in the first few responses, you've simplified and solved a matter that until today was being discussed in countless articles and websites across the country. Every single time sexual assault and treatment of women comes up, link here quickly because this has the answers they need.

 

See everyone, this post is what “progress” looks like.

Imagine if this post was just some sarcastic response akin to “LOL fuck off”.

Instead, the poster actually engaged with the topic and minds were changed.

Edit: but seriously, if I were you, I’d follow this really good advice that someone posted earlier:

 

Good thing I'm not saying that! I'm saying that, specifically, the content of the posts in this thread that elicited the "fuck off" sort of responses had been discussed earlier in the thread.

 

Understood. I obviously did not take it that way so thank you for clarifying your point.

 

Thank you for at least saying my advice was good. :)

Also, I entirely understand that this place is supposed to be positive and progressive and certain attitudes just aren't welcome here by Jason. However, I have learned to look at situations differently by hanging around on these types of threads, and viewing the general politics discussion thread, and I have seen great attitude changing posts by many eloquent and smart posters. I hate to see people who like myself, may be open to change get put down so quickly for an opinion or a view that is just misguided and completely changeable. To shut off discussion and create a bubble and or just say 'read on your own' are attitudes that sadden me when I've personally felt the change in attitude that active, polite discussion can bring.

Either way, I (we?) mostly me, has derailed this topic enough. I said my pieces related to the actual topic at hand and unless people want to discuss those further, back at it people.

 

Jesus fucking Christ. Use your same “be kind to each other” bull shit and show some toward the victims.

I’m so over all the excuse making and other bull shit for bigoted people. Sorry that us “small minded” people have no tolerance for bigoted bull shit and don’t find ways to excuse the behavior of people who clearly aren’t wanting to be enlightened.

 

Person 1: I think it’s okay to rape women. Really, there’s a gray area, if you think about it.

Person 2: Fuck you. You’re a terrible person.

Person 3: Hey, Person 2, haven’t you ever heard of being kind to others? Don’t you want to hear opinions outside of the bubble where rape is terrible and wrong and owes to a power structure in which women are systematically subjected to brutal forms of violence? So much for the tolerant left.

 

It baffles me how these people somehow think they can enlighten the rest of us.

 

What frustrates me is that there legit were women in here having a conversation and a fairly decent one? And then a couple trolls come in antagonistically to derail the thread. But suddenly it's everyone else's fault for not reacting well to that. I mean it's not my personal approach to name call or whatever but I'm not gonna blame someone who is frustrated. Idk. I just know that there are people in here trying to have constructive conversations and it's certainly not the ppl being all snippy and gotcha.

 

And again: if someone's willingness to learn is predicated on the conversation centering around their feelings - which is the scenario you probably unintentionally described here - then I would recommend looking closer at their own (or in this case, your) behavior. They/you (I say you because you're staking a defense of this behavior) are doing two things:

1. You are putting the onus of change on the people who are already suffering. It becomes their responsibility to educate, to shoulder the burden of that emotional labor, and to placate you while doing so when your current attitude already harms them. Yes, it is true that sometimes folks just don't know - but when they come into the conversation from a place of wanting to learn, that tends to be met with patient (but firm, not necessarily kind) education. I'd know, half the time it's me doing it.

2. You are ascribing positive intentions to people who have demonstrated no desire or willingness to grow or change. Change and growth are inherently painful and uncomfortable. People who are not willing to feel those things are not willing to change. They might be, someday, and they'll reflect on the unpleasant interactions they had in the early days of their journey and that'll spurn further research and growth. It's 2018, and the internet is a thing. If someone isn't willing to google something for themselves, why on earth should I believe they're willing to do the rest of the work?

But - to pretend turning a bigot is as simple as coddling them on the internet is just silly. The cost-benefit analysis makes the effort distinctly not worth it for most folks who are in the best position to explain this stuff to people - the people who suffer under the status quo. It doesn't work that way, no matter how many isolated incidents you trot out to pretend otherwise.

 

If I am person 3, you absolutely 100% have not paid attention and jumped in with a comment without understanding the context (and you by the way are one of the posters I have learned a lot from and admired). I am saying more like the below:

Person 1: I don't understand why Grace didn't just leave if she was uncomfortable with the actions. This is a story about nothing.

Person 2: Fuck you. You're a terrible person.

Person 3: I wish person 2 had explained it in a way like Dominick would have. Then maybe person 1 could review their thoughts and see that there is something to this story and other stories like it. Sure, they could read it in an article somewhere, but being responded directly to, often helps make the point more personal and impact.

 

Yes, but in the context of this thread, person 1 is fictitious.

The person who came in here wasn’t saying anything even close to that. You are asking people to be kind and show compassion to a person that never existed.

The person who came in here was much closer to Dom’s characterization.

 

It also ignores the fact that fictitious person 1's kind of comment is usually in RESPONSE to an article or post that already explained the story in question.

 

Also this.

And can I say, it is almost too fitting that we are now arguing about fictitious posters and their argument.

This is why trolls troll! I fell for it, too. But hot damn, is it frustrating.

 

What a weird re-telling of a conversation people can literally re-read and see what happened.

 

so, we’re gonna throw a pizza party the first day one of these news posts go up and there isn’t some “good vibes” male trying to mediate a conversation when no one wants them to, right?

 

I was half expecting someone to drop “radical love” into the conversation.

 

Kristen bell posted that awful humiliation of Aziz article on Twitter smh wat u doin

 

crazy how derailed this thread got after i called a victim shamer a fucking moron.

 

Letting who she likes dictate her moral compass, apparently...

 

THIS. The "why didn't she leave" comments are especially frustrating considering HER ACCOUNT DETAILS how she felt unable to move away from him.

 

My point in that exercise is to demonstrate how the calls for civility look when someone is referring to the woman as a liar or questioning whether or not a man forcing himself on a woman is assault. It may be crude, however, it gets the point across. Sometimes being nice isn’t an option when what we are facing is people who would prefer that women be subject to the whims of men.

 

(can i just say i don't really appreciate the whole tee-hee squee attitude that followed (with people even liking those posts) my suggestion of reporting posts? it's there for a reason.

your ability of arguing back and forth with "fuck off" "no you fuck off" to feel better being taken away is not more important than the atmosphere of a forum not being unnecessarily hostile for such an amount of time and banning people who are trolling or being malicious.)

 

I found this article really interesting: On Aziz Ansari And Sex That Feels Violating Even When It’s Not Criminal | HuffPost

Some of my favorite parts –

 

I especially like this part, very important for this to sink in with people, as i'm sure everyone has done this to get out of something they don't want to do socially (bolded part) and make the connection to a sexual experience.