(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 514

The fact that she's cool with the coupon bodes well

 

That's a good sign that she wants to meet earlier too. Good luck!

 

swear to god if she turns out to be another closet racist or nazi im giving up dating forever








or until i get equal parts bored and lonely again

 

I've never seen a relationship I aspire to have. Like it's hard to feel motivated to be in one when they all seem sucky. I used to admire my sister and brother in law's relationship but I've been around it for a week straight and it's driving me crazy. And I don't think it's an unusual dynamic. Men can just be so entitled and lazy they don't even realize they're being an ass. It's so socialized into them that it's just an expectation they have, and women are socialized to just coddle and take care of them. F that nonsense. Its making me very bitter lol.

 

There's only one relationship that I aspire to have of my friend group, and it's my two best friends. They're honestly perfect for one another, and they get along so well and help each other out in every aspect.

They're getting married in October, and I'm honestly so excited for them.

But the other 99% of relationships I see people in/have been in have been not good

 

I wish I was as cool as Dylan

the only thing I'm cool at talking to is produce and dogs

 

don't waste your wish on that. that's a terrible wish. I am a terrible example of everything. All my posts, do the opposite of what I'm doing and you'll have much more success, trust me.


Don't sell yourself short, man, you're really good at talking to gummy bears too.

 

None of my friends have great relationships. My friend group back home is basically two couples, the ones that are married and were living at my house are tolerable and good most of the time but when they get in fights it can be really bad, like I've had to calm both down when they were basically having mental breakdowns from the relationship. The girl from the other couple kissed another guy (who we were all friends with, including her bf), and is overall pretty damn immature, and I just kinda feel bad for my guy friend in the relationship cuz though she's a good person, she's a pretty terrible gf. That being said, they are all younger than me sans one of them and I still love them to death, I just stay away from relationship talks with them if I can.

 

Yeah, I've been in similar situations with other friends relationships. It's not fun. I felt bad for how my ex treated my friends/me, put them through a lot of stress for a bit.

 

I function as the complaint box of the friend group. Which I don't necessarily mind, it means they trust me with sensitive info and value my advice but since I'm friends with all of them it sometimes borders on gossip/talking behind backs which I don't do. Ya that always sucks when a relationship starts affecting friendships, super stressful to get caught inbetween.

 

A guy I worked with was basically in a cold war with my boss because my boss hated him and my friend hated our boss (we all did). My friend text our boss said that he got his shift covered by one of our friends (which he did). Then my friend meant to text this girl he had been seeing recently and sent "I cannot wait to see that sexy ass in a pool" and accidentally sent it to our boss.

So my friend panicked and just spammed a couple "I'm sorry, Tim" and then decided to, for some reason, follow it up with "I'm sure you look wonderful in a pool as well but this wasn't meant for you ... this time."

He was fired like three weeks later.

 

Hahah, that's funny. His boss sucked.

 

I'm surrounded by a lot of pretty good relationships.

 

I know a weird mixture of guys who are totally like that and guys who are really independent in their relationships. I'm hoping that after years of living alone and looking after myself (pretty well, if I do say so myself!), that I won't eventually revert to some slob, with wifey vacuuming under my legs, while I watch the TV around her.

 

It's something I've just started noticing, prob cause it's so normalized. It's the smallest things. Like my sis will ask her husband to help with their son and he does it no problem. But like he shouldn't even need to be asked. I can see when she needs help with my nephew and I just swoop in and do it lol. He sits there until asked. It's weird. It's one thing if someone genuinely enjoys doing things for their partner and that respect is reciprocated, but like with every relationship I see it's a subtle expectation. It reminds me of Clueless when she calls the guy a Monet cause it looks good from afar but up close he's not all that. That's what these relationships seem like lol. They're not overtly problematic or off, but when I put that lens to it they're all a mess.

It's like another layer of jadedness I've recently added on to my other layers of cynicism lol

 

Hmm. With that sort of thing it can go both ways though. Someone could be complaining that they have to ask for help, but if their partner was forever ready to leap in and assist, they could well get all contrary and feel like they were being treated like they're incapable of doing anything.

It gets especially murky if you factor in kids as well, because while it might look rubbish that one parent isn't leaping in to help, it can also undermine the authority of the other if they keep acting like the enforcer.

 

I have to ask my girlfriend to help with the kids all the time because Facebook is an obsession. Don't worry, I'll go in to my situation more later

 

I feel like their situation is a little different and I know why and it's a legit reason, but I can see their dynamic straining because of it which is unfortunate. Its probably also the family advocate in me being too nosey lol

 

I'd think if an outside observer witnessed my relationship with my wife they'd be bored and probably thinking how do these people get by in life with how weird they are

 

Lol as the outsider I always think how these couples are prob super happy with life and then they're like who is this random jerk judging our relationship for their own personal #goals collection with their cloud of doom and cynicism

 

Eh, I don't know. I think everyone here knows my situation and I think people get complacent and that's why you see some of the thing you do. In my case, I think she thought the grass would be greener, but isn't. Like sure it might look hard that she had to ask for help, but at least she has a man there to help her.

 

I got a great message from someone really cute on Okc... I guess I should be deactivating soon though. We haven't explicitly talked about exclusivity/being a couple but it's definitely feeling like it

 

in the middle of one of those "well I didn't do shit wrong, but shes upset about something she perceived and she wont hear anything so just hold the L" silent treatments lol. all cus mid filling out an application I mumbled some words to myself to keep them fresh in my head as I was typing them since I didn't want her words to jumble up in my head with what I was typing lol.

can hear my grandpa now "enjoy it, only 50 more years of it till youre done" lol

 

I'm honestly not trying to be an asshole, but can someone translate this?

 

girl was giving me the silent treatment because as I was working on a application she started a convo up and I was mumbling my words for the application to myself so I didn't lose the train of thought with her words coming into my ears mixing with mine coming out of onto the application?