Mental Health Thread • Page 112

Pretty much. It makes me feel petty and then the insecurities about being uptight come thru and I feel like the convo will just come back around to that and I don't even wanna deal

 

Thank God for my dad. Makes me feel better when he doesn't even realize anything is wrong.

 

Parents are good at this I have found.

 

My mom is definitely that for me as well

 

I don't think Wellbutrin is gonna be enough to get me through the day. I immediately fell asleep after getting home from a six hour shift. I've heard of people not being able to sleep for 12-24 hours after taking it. I fell asleep like a baby like 7 hours after taking it. Also guanfacine still does nothing for my anxiety and the Wellbutrin might even be making it worse. I see my psychiatrist in a week for my vivitrol shot so ill tough it out til then and hope the Wellbutrin improves

 

I went off my meds and i've been ballling my eyes at daily. i need help man. i don't want to feel this way. i'm so fucking lonely.

 

My biggest struggle used to be making it to the end of the week. Now, I'm finding it difficult to get through one day. And that's despite the fact that circumstantially, my life is great right now. I don't know what to do anymore. It's everything I have not to just collapse and let myself wither.

 

Example 134966225 of my dad being my dad: during our family Skype convo yesterday, says he figured I'd be the one to kill myself out of his two kids. In the context of outward appearances, and my brother seeming outgoing meanwhile I'm alone in NC after my divorce and blah blah blah thought he'd "get the call" jesus fucking christ dad

 

Well I'm glad you're alive and I'm sure he is too

 

Thanks Ian :)

I get what he meant. I have a long, documented history with depression and anxiety + at the time my living situation exacerbated those conditions, and my brother is the cheery one who always seems upbeat.

But again, jesus christ, dad

 

Does anyone have any tips for helping a friend who's in an abusive relationship? A friend of mine is in a bad situation with her ex, but she lives in a different province in a small town where he's the only person she knows there. She put in for unpaid leave at work so she could come back to Halifax and look for an apartment and a job here, but I don't know what the status is on that and it seems like her ex is succeeding in pulling her back in. I'm worried for her but I don't know what to do.

 

Hope one of these help
Crisis Hotlines - DAWN Canada

 

My job makes me want to kill myself. Not hyperbole. Like fuck when I get no tip on a 40 dollar order it's like why am I even doing this? Why am I even trying? I have a shitty fucking job I'm not making shit I have to rely on my parents for everything I'm not doing what I wanna do I feel like I'm just wasting away. If it wasn't for vivitrol this shit fucking job would've made me relapse already. But even days I don't work are hard. The Wellbutrin hasn't really done much yet but it's only been a week. Idk, sober life fucking sucks and I just want an escape.

 

Honestly I'm glad you did post this, because I am having a hard time with my parents and their current (and past) drinking habits and a whole bunch of bad childhood stuff. I am 3000 miles away from them and right now I wish it was a little farther.

Also being sober around drunk people sucks regardless of any other feelings you have around it.

 

I'm sorry ur dealing with it too bb. It's something idek how to get past. I've been trying to dissect why it bothers me so much and the only thing I can think of is that I just get screwed over when people are drunk and/or high, most of the time. My BIL smokes and he's cool af high or sober, but I think I get defensive with most people who are intoxicated just cause yeah usually I'm getting the short end of the stick. My mom's and I relationship basically got destroyed when she started drinking and partying, my ex used to become even more awful when he'd been doing it, my friends would ditch me and stuff... Like it never goes well for me lol. Also sucks being teased and made to feel like a loser for not doing it, until those same ppl depend on you to be responsible and help them out when they can't remember where they parked their car or need a ride. It's like nobody I know can have any chill. I need to meet more nice and fun drunks apparently. Meh. Idk its just been really bugging me.

I'm sorry you are having a hard time with all that childhood stuff, really. It's crazy how much of a lasting impact that stuff leaves and it's hard to even begin undoing it

 

That's so crappy of your friends to ditch you. Ugh I used to be one of those "why aren't you drinking?!?!" people and that was all about my own insecurity/knowing that I fucking drank too much all the time.

I think the issue is consistency. Drunk people aren't consistent. They just do whatever, and it's so much worse when it's a parent, who should not be acting wild and/or incoherent (at least not in front of their kid(s)). That shit sucks and I'm sorry you've dealt with it too.

 

I've definitely felt shitty about myself for not drinking but a lot of it was also constantly worrying that it would disappoint me or people would find it lame even if they never even said anything

 

Also it's trippy how my life can be basically defined as Before Parents Divorce and After Parents Divorce. My whole personality and mental health and like life trajectory all experienced such a big shift that sometimes I wonder what it'd be like if my parents had just divorced cleanly or had been more mature dealing with it

 

the pizza world is trash. the entire service industry is trash. i've been working service jobs for over ten years and the only time i've ever slightly enjoyed it was when i worked with the right people. keep your head up and keep working on music bro.

 

Another day another moment of my Mom coming out here face trying to sabotage. I love my mom since she beared me but I'm at a point where soon as she talks I tune out and soon as anyone leads her credence I get angry.

I'm happy for once, I have no use for any detractors. Blood isn't thicker than clarity.

 

Try to remember that this job isn't your destination, it's a stepping stone towards the life you want

 

So two things: 1) I spent about several months working from home last spring/summer because of dysphoria/alcoholism and 2) I didn't know I wasn't allowed to work from home *at all* so that made #1 even worse.

My boss said that I (and by extension the marketing department) am essentially HR's case study for why working remotely shouldn't be allowed. I was very apologetic because of course I am sorry for all of that...but at the same time I kinda want to push back and be like "hey how about maybe they don't use the mentally ill trans guy as their prime example" and then just flat out say I almost killed myself last year to drive it home that there was way more to this than I'm lazy or something.

Maybe I'm over thinking it.

 

So I gave my boss my two weeks notice today about finally moving to start my life up with my woman. Super excited, happy, proud (of her, me, and us), and everything. Went smoothly so that was nice too.
HOWEVER....... tonight is the night I told my girl I'd tell my Mom the actually date is a few weeks away, I've been openly telling her it's soon; and likely around my birthday (May 5th, which stiffly is my parents anni as well, doesn't help) for months so I don't feel so bad about the suddenness. But at the same time I know my Mom will be completely irrational to the point of damn near malfunctioning and destructive and I don't really want or need the drama.
Blah. Hate even in triumph she manages to damper the mood.

 

She's not going to do anything like actively sabotage your move, right? If she'll flip shit either way, do you HAVE to tell her the date?

 

Someone photoshopped me thinner in a pic like.... okay. They were all proud too and wanted to show me and I was like uhh I looked fine before? How weird