Mental Health Thread • Page 101

Just threw up in the bathroom at work and then had to close my door to my office and had a panic attack. I am sitting here crying. My job gives me unrealistic caseloads (medical social worker with close to 200 clients), I am trying to support my wife and I financially and already drowning and today her car broke down- I don't know what we are going to do. I can't keep going through the motions with a fake happy face anymore. The stress, anxiety and depression is making myself physically sick and I don't know how much longer I can do this.

 

I am so sorry. That's terrible.

 

Sending all the love and positive vibes your way. Hang in there.

 

trying to find a new job/make major life changes is borderline impossible while dealing with depression. I am in desperate need of finding a new place to work, but every time I go online to start submitting resume i convince my self i'm completely useless and no company would ever want to hire me, leading me to just close all my tabs and walk away.

Im finding it very hard to try and "sell my self" to these companies when I can barely come up with a single reason why I am worth hiring.

 

I went through this last summer and I hear you. I know it probably doesn't help but just keep on trucking. Don't feel like you have to be applying for jobs during ALL free time you have, because it's not healthy to have that on your mind constantly. Try to set a goal for applications per week, find somewhere comfortable to work (for me, I couldn't be in my apartment because I was more depressed there, so I joined the public library), and work those bullshitting muscles. Job hunting is so discouraging, but something will work out. Remember that you are VALUABLE!

 

I'm so sorry bb. Ur wonderful for doing such a tough thankless job that unfort doesn't pay what it should. Those kinds of jobs srsly just keep adding and adding more stuff onto u without ever taking any away and it's so natural to stress and freak out because the expectations are srsly unrealistic. I hope it all works out for you because nobody should have that all on their shoulders! Ur amazing!

 

taking exams for me is like

 

I wasn't sure where this belonged but: my passion for life has almost completely gone. like, I thought I could always count on listening to music to lift my mood, but hardly anything does it for me anymore. watching tv/films, reading, eating or drinking things I like, listening to or playing music... these all used to be things I could do to lift my mood or escape into something else for a while, but now everything just leaves me feeling empty and broken, because I know I should be able to enjoy all of these things, but I can't.

my mental health has been in the gutter for ages - I'm deeply depressed, unemployed and directionless. if not for the fact that I still live with my parents (after dropping out of college last month), I'd probably just waste away in bed. I feel so sad all the time, but it's not even the kind of sadness where you cry over the smallest things; it's the kind of sadness that takes away your ability to enjoy the things that used to give your life meaning and makes you just want to stay in bed all the time because it's the only place you feel even a slight sense of relief from the crushing despair and fruitless search for happiness that your life has amounted to.

I think about death more often than I'd like to admit to most people. not as a goal but as a concept, and then I wonder sometimes which parts of me have died, because this doesn't really feel like living anymore. I can't bear the thought of spending days, weeks, months like this, with nothing to live for and nothing to do. or in my case, doing things that don't fucking mean anything to me.

 

I don't have a ton of words or wisdom to give. All I can say is that I believe in you and that you'll pull through this. If you need anything, I think I speak for everyone in this thread to say that you can come to any of us. You're fantastic and you deserve so much happiness and fulfillment.

 

Went to a therapist yesterday, not what I was expecting and still feel as anxious, nervous, sad, etc. as before.

 

Mental health to be included in Nova Scotia school curriculum
I'm so happy about this

 

Did you feel like it was a good fit? I started seeing one in October, and was unsure about it until the 4th-5th week into sessions. My girlfriend has been seeing hers for awhile but she had met with at least one or two others before finding someone she clicked with

 

He's fine, and I know it's probably my own fault since I just don't like to express feelings/provoke conflict, but I was hoping to walk away with a sigh of relief and something to "fix". I don't know if you watch Love, but he reminds me of the dick-head therapist from the radio show. We bullshitted about Zelda on the Switch, so definitely clicked there.

 

asoifngb;aouing;aousdf;o I wish I knew how to fix everything for everyone and make stuff stop sucking because I'm tired of feeling like garbage and knowing that others do too

 

I wish I got that reference, but at the very least I think being able to banter a bit sounds like a promising start! Being able to go at your own pace is important, and if you feel that you are personally comfortable with this person, that may be more beneficial for the long run, rather than jumping immediately into intense personal expression. Trust building takes time, so on and so forth

 

Thanks for the responses.

Also, I definitely feel comfortable, I don't see a situation where I'm asking for help that would make me uncomfortable, you know? Like I'm at rock bottom - willing to do what I need to do to fix whatever needs to be fixed. My wife has been seeing a different person from the same practice, I made it clear I didn't want to see the same person - because I wanted someone that didn't know our situation.

 

Yeah that makes sense. If you see the same person, no matter how professional or competent they are, there's always that lurking feeling that they know something you don't, and that sucks. Hope everything works out and you're able to get what you need

 

Ok I might finally have found a vivitrol provider/outpatient program, found out the place I was trying to get into is booked until may (I need my next vivitrol shot by next Friday so I literally cannot wait) but looked up providers near me and even tho this place isn't a few blocks from my apartment like the other one, going into center city isn't a big deal at all and will give me an excuse to get out of the area a bit. Anyway, I requested an appointment on their website for Wednesday so they should be contacting me to confirm the appointment. Once that happens it will be a big weight off my shoulders even though the process of an intake appointment, even though I've been through it before, sounds so daunting and draining but I know I need this treatment desperately because even though heroin is what brought me to my knees I've been having cravings for anything and everything lately, though I have decided to completely discontinue my weed smoking for the time being which has actually be extremely easy considering. Anyway, other than that, the job thing is continuing to stress me out and the only lead I've got right now is a jimmy John's nearby having open interviews for delivery drivers this week, the same shit I was doing a year ago in St. Louis (during the entirety of my active addiction might I add, I actually had to quit that job to focus on recovery) and the idea of pretty much taking a huge step back to something I've already done just fucking sucks. But, had I not been blowing all my money on dope, I woulda been making so much cash so I'm tempted to say fuck it and just suffer through the job for the money because it oughta be pretty dece if it's in a densely populated area. So even tho it'll suck I can handle it and just having something will put my mind somewhat at ease, and I can keep looking for something better and hopefully land something in the next couple of months that I'll actually not hate, I fucking hated my JJ's job in St. Louis and only got through most of it because I was high on dope all the time, but a lot of that was being an opening manager and having to go in at 6 am and work for ten hours twice a week on top of my normal delivery shifts throughout the week. Looking back the store I worked at was run like shit even tho I loved my owner and managers it was completely mismanaged and understaffed so I'm hoping this one is actually run well, but I also hope it isn't run by a bunch of assholes. Idk. Just kind of nervous about a job I don't even hve yet but I'm sure they'll just hand it to me since I've had the same exact job before. I'm still feeling down and anxious but if I can get into this program and have some kind of income, that's gonna take a big load off my shoulders. Still, dealing with this depression and anxiety has been a bit trying and my energy levels are so low it takes obscene amounts of energy to muster up the desire to complete even the simplest of tasks. I have like a thousand things to do around the house today because my asshole landlord is showing the apartment off to some people on short notice (didn't even ask us if we wanted to renew our lease, which we don't) and we haven't done laundry in weeks. So yeah. Stressed, tired, but pushing through and staying the course because that's what you gotta do

 

Scratch that jimmy John's bullshit Pizza Hut just called i have an interview tomorrow

 

Good luck
I now have combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell stuck in my head

 

YEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS! That's so awesome.

 

Good luck! If you're like me then just having a reason to leave the house (even if the job isn't the greatest) will be an improvement. Plus, being employed makes it way less stressful to look for a job that you actually want.

 

to secure the position, only refer to it as "The Hut" in interview

 

Yeah exactly and going back to the same company I already worked for would've sucked in a lot of ways even if I already knew everything it just did not sound appealing. Not that Pizza Hut is a huge step in any direction from jimmy John's it's just something different that I'll still make (likely much better) tips from. I did love having a job that paid in tips, leaving work with cash in hand was always so nice. Only this time I won't be spending it all on drugs, not even weed which was a big expense in and of itself even when I wasn't on dope. I gotta worry about bills and rent and food and all that now, real grown man shit

 

"I accept this jabba the hut" I will be deleting my account now goodbye