(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 410

I don't know where to put this but this one girl at work consistently sexually harasses me, even in front of people, and they all just laugh cause I'm a dude and I guess that's ok :))))))

If the roles were reversed I'd be in so much trouble. Anyways, it's very frustrating and uncomfortable

 

Do you have HR to report that too? If not, a corporate HR? Document everything that you can, sign a statement, etc


I'm sorry you're going through that, it's not okay and I hope it gets resolved quickly

 

Well, it's a small independently run business so no corporate. Also, while we work in the same building and have the same owner, we technically work for two separate businesses. But yeah, I don't like going over to her side of the building when she's working because an overtly sexual comment is practically guaranteed. I've mentioned it to the manager over there and she acknowledges that it's sexual harassment but it honestly isn't taken that seriously. Not sure if I should bring it up or just ride it out cause I only have a couple months left. I dunno

 

Always bring it up. Never just let something unwanted happen.

 

What sort of things does she say? I mean, it sounds pretty bad if the manager is admitting it is harassment and just won't do anything.

I wonder, do you get on with them at all when they're not saying uncomfortable things? Does it seem at all playful or does it feel like it's meant to be unpleasant? If it doesn't seem too aggressively targeted, you could perhaps speak to them directly and say that you're not comfortable with that sort of comment being made, especially at work.

Or, if you're feeling ballsy, call her out in the middle of the office, point out the hypocrisy of it being okay with the roles as they are and firmly request that she keep her stupid thoughts safely in her head.

 

Yeah I think I need to speak to her directly. I spoke to a few people about it tonight.

Well, first she was telling me me how my ex made a mistake and that she would love to fuck me and "do me right" and all this bullshit. And she always comments on my fuckin dick like no joke. Today, right it front of me she was taking to someone about my "bulge" in my pants. Super overt stuff and it just makes me very uncomfortable. It would be one thing if we were pals and just fuckin around but I barely know this girl at all. She just decided she could say this stuff to me.

 

Yeah, that's definitely not okay. I'd bring it up to her and if she doesn't take you seriously go back to the manager and make sure they take some sort of action. That's so fucked, sorry you're dealing with that. Not sure how I'd handle the situation.

 

Need help/advice:

Essentially the girl I'm into now knows that I've got feels, which I thought could've been bad, but I find out she's kinda got some too. Score. We've been hanging out heaps, late night food dates, etc. but I found out she doesn't want anything to progress further until this production we're working on together finishes. :( That's like 7 weeks. I'm worried if both of us hold off for 7 weeks she'll lose interest.

FML.

Halppp...

 

U can still go on dates and hang out, don't feel a need to put extras on it. Calm down and work on the production.

 

Does anyone else feel like the process of getting to know someone new just isn't worth it? It's SO exhausting and I hate the series of the same questions and generic conversation and having to force it all to get to know someone and maybe date them or maybe have it not work out?

I'm exhausted just thinking about it. Maybe this makes me an official bitter old maid.

 

It's exhausting if there's not a true connection. But when you meet someone new and you just click, damn it feels incredible sharing everything with them. I feel like when you meet someone you authentically connect with you can just skip all the generic questions and get to the meaty stuff :3

 

I've been through that excitement before and yeah it feels so great and you're walking on cloud 9 but I'm sort of jaded by that now. Then two- three years later you just tolerate each other and feel nothing and it's a huge mess. Always a mess.

 

I personally disagree with that, although I recognize that it's a reality for many people. I think the issue is that when people meet they have, well in my case, 25+ years of life, stories, and experiences to share with someone. So, you have a lot of fun essentially catching up and it's super exciting and then eventually you've told all your stories and get to the present. That's when a lot of couples give up because they've reached a point where they have to put in work in order to survive when it ws so easy before because you were on auto-pilot. In my opinion, the answer is simply to create something new. Try new things, go new places, meet new people. You'll only be merely tolerating each other if you choose to stay stagnant. How can you expect to have a healthy and vivacious relationship if you aren't doing anything to challenge and grow with each other? Not saying you in particular but the collective.

Edit: I'm also not saying it's easy. It's certainly a team effort

 

You're spot on, but is has to be the right person. You can't just force someone to make new adventures that doesn't want to.

 

Agreed! I've tried it, doesn't work haha.

 

Eugh. That's not on at all. That's a really awkward one to deal with as well, because it almost sounds like she is doing it in the hope of giving you a boost or something.

Your or her manager should definitely be taking her to one side to point out that sort of comment is not appropriate at work though. There's no way that you can view that as friendly banter or similar. It's a real shame that you're not getting support from the management there, because you shouldn't have to be looking to deal with that yourself.

That being said, if you will go around with your obviously massive package on display...

 

That's the main reason I hate small talk. People keep saying I'm awkward but I don't care because people then say to me that they appreciate me because of my "screw the rules" motto.

 

quitting dating and drinking this weekend! hopefully both for good but who knows.

 

I used to hate the small talk, getting to know someone thing until I met my current girlfriend. When you click with someone it doesn't seem so much like a chore or tiresome. It can take you by surprise lol.

 

Yeah, not that I'm any expert, but this is huge. Don't want to keep telling the same old stories? Make new ones.

 

I dated a guy once who divorced his wife bc she had an affair with one of her students. She was asked to resign and wasn't charged with any crime.

 

^woah

 

Not surprising. I remember a teacher who ummm touched me inappropriately mysteriously resigned.

 

was this high school? my first thought was college bc naturally the world must revolve around me but i realized that last part makes most sense if the student was a minor

 

Middle school.