(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 399

Yep, same thing with friends.

 

Yep, same thing with friends.

 

And it's also like when is the appropriate time to unload the shit that is my life on that person lol

 

And then you get shit when you either told it too soon or too late. Happened to me way too often

 

This part would terrify me. I'm realizing more and more that if I didn't start dating someone I was already close friends with, I would be single for life.

 

I might have mentioned it before (there are lots of things I want to post but mostly never get a chance to & forget which thing I made a post about). I don't open up easy. I'm terrified to open up about things. My relationships have never worked out long term because the guys I've dated left me after like date 2 if I didn't open up. I need lots of patience, but haven't found someone yet willing to give that to me. Also most of them wanted sex and left me when I didn't give it to them by the 3rd date. At my age now, I'm past the "random hookup phase", I saw how that went and realized I didn't want to continue to go through with it.

 

I doubt there are many people "without" baggage. Life sucks. Just matters how you deal with it and how people treat you.

Yeah my ex and his parents gave me hell for being anxious and having diet problems yet he was autistic and his mom went to therapy for depression, and I never bothered them or judged them for it, I treated them like human beings. So I can relate. My dad thinks they were racist and I wouldn't be surprised. It's sad people are like that. I'm sorry you went through that.

 

The look on people's faces when I say I'm Bipolar is really hard for me to swallow. They look at me like they're scared of me and I am going to flip out at the the drop of a dime and become a homicidal maniac. That hurts and is why my "baggage" is hard for me to tell people about especially in a romantic situation. We have made strides in stigma but it's still running rampant bc people don't understand it. I'm more likely to hurt myself and not others.

 

The whole baggage thing is a mine field and one that people seem to be very poor at navigating.

I tend to hide mine such that it doesn't seem like I have any (it seems). Unfortunately, it can make me seem quite cold or like I'm not that interested, simply because I don't rush into the emotional side of stuff any more. Bit frustrating when you've been dropping hints and doing certain things, which if they'd damn well listen, they'd have understood that I was the opposite of cold.

*sigh*

 

I put up with too much baggage tbh. In all of my relationships there were plenty of red flags, including one ex literally saying, "hey FYI I'm awful and a terrible person" and I still went for it (cause I'm an idiot) And of course ended up totally heartbroken. I need to trust my instincts a little more.

 

I've also had people tell me that I and I have assumed it was hyperbole, but alas.

 

Yeah I was like, "Well, I haven't seen that side of you so unless I do, I'm all in." Woops.

 

I have a ton of baggage. Anxiety, depressive episodes, abusive ex boyfriends and sexually harassed as well. My boyfriend was badly hurt before we met as well so both of us were hesitant to be in a relationship. I still struggle to open up at times but he's very patient and empathic and that's so important to me. It's tough having baggage, with friends and relationships, at least it's helped me sort out who's worth my time and who isn't. Everyone has *some* baggage and if you're not patient and understanding with someone else's, you're just not worth me wasting time on

 

Maybe my baggage... is not having any baggage!!!

 

I probably have baggage but I'm to tired to look for a relationship.

 

I'm so sorry for all of that

People do need to be patient.

 

Ur not too tired for a PS4 tho rite???

 

Actually had a REAL conversation about our baggage this evening and it was wonderful. Just very open, and honest, and understanding. This is the real deal.

 

I have baggage like stemming from being a bitter traumatized child of divorce. I ended up internalizing the idea that if I don't want to ever go thru that and suffer, I just don't have a serious commitment like that. But I'm also so cold and shy and insecure that I can't do the casual hook up thing either. Now I have issues from an abusive ex and I tend to look for reasons to talk myself out of a relationship. But I also find it hard to find ppl who share my views on relationships like in terms of not knowing if I want marriage or kids one day. Seems like everyone wants serious or hook up and I want some mythical middle ground.


I do find myself being a cynical jerk too often. Like I'm not even bitter about being single necessarily, but it's that total divorced parents baggage where when ppl talk about how happy and in love they are my first instinct is to think "yeah, for now." My issue isn't that I won't find love, but that it's fleeting and always ends

 

I'm honestly about ready to fall asleep in the cooler at my work. I am tired

 

Thank you for your support, you're lovely

 

Just realised that my previous post was barely even in English. Sorry about that.

Spent too much time trying to express it as a non-specific situation and instead just spilled out a paragraph of garbage.

 

Every guy that could be a possible relationship always ends up moving :(

 

For me, they were usually far away in the first place. lol