Mental Health Thread • Page 472

Feeling very shitty and running on fumes. Not helped by the start of withdrawal symptoms since my doctor has ignored my attempts to get a refill of zoloft. it wasn't helping and we were gonna try a higher dose but their prescription was rejected by my insurance and nobody at the pharmacy or doctor's office really tried to get it sorted.

I asked for a refill so I could at least properly wean myself off, but cricket noises right now. I have a few tablets i've been breaking in half to lessen the impact at least.

My sleep has also been pretty shitty and the dip in temperatures/low humidity fucked with my sinuses and system leaving me feel kind of cold-like but minimal.

I have my first appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow so maybe something comes of that. Not sure if I'll get anything meds-wise after a first appointment, but we'll see. No idea what to expect.

I have a concert tonight, but I've been waffling on actually going because the commute is longer than the show itself lol and the above gives me an excuse, but i'm just mentally fighting myself over it.

my stupid goddamn brain. /rant

 

It's fall and I just want to be cozy and burrow into blankets and not go to the gym even though I know I'll feel better mentally if I do.

 

I hate having body image issues and being asked to be on camera for work. I recorded something last Friday and got the finished product back from Marketing on Monday, but put off watching it until this morning because I knew it wasn't going to be good. Sure enough, wrinkly shirt, cowlick, fat face, bad facial hair, glare in glasses. I just look huge and shitty and ugly and seeing that usually puts me down for the entire day, if not longer.

 

I feel this dude. Like I know I'm a bigger guy but I don't *feel* like a bigger guy until I see pictures of myself

 

I have a similar issue specifically with my hair. There's a lot about me I feel secure about even if part of me is like "I should look better" but when I see my hairline and my bald spot and shit I feel miserable. I've tried so much to fix it and can't, and I've thought about just shaving it all but I'm also terrified that'll make me feel worse about myself. A lot of people look good bald but I feel like I can't. Getting older sucks.

I know that's different than total body dysmorphia and I'm sorry to all you beautiful people experiencing that, there's also other stuff I don't really wanna get into here that's related but that's a whole other thing.

 

Yup. And somehow when I look in the mirror, I can get away with thinking I look relatively normal, until the angle or whatever is out of my control and recorded to be used over and over again for the foreseeable future and it just kinda fucks up my perception and feelings about myself

 

I do not take pictures of myself for precisely those reasons. I do not want to be forced to perceive myself

 

I feel this so much.

 

Yeah, I'm lucky our wedding pictures turned out as nice as they did because neither my wife nor I wish to be perceived physically lmao

I have to try to remember that I'm predisposed to focus on things I'm self-conscious about, and I would assume that just like your voice sounds different to other people than it does to you, the way I see myself is not the same way others see me. And having pictures of myself that I like proves that this specific instance of not liking myself is not representative of how I actually look all of the time. But that's easier said than done.

 

It's also lighting too... I was struggling every time I went into my work bathroom then I went to a friends house and I thought I looked like a model in their bathroom haha. In reality, I am somewhere in the middle of slightly below to perfectly average but I agree with you all and have self perception issues. The fact that sometimes I vibe with my look, is a sign that I can hopefully, eventually, limit / erase the negative moments (or have them be negative because I failed to put in the effort).

 

Met with the psychiatrist today. Going to give Vortioxetine a go. He said it’s fast acting and should help with mood, anxiety, and depression. So fingers crossed

 

I used to think I was self conscious when I was thinner, but nothing prepared me for how self conscious id become by gaining weight. Before, it was body dysmorphia where I thought I looked bigger than I was, but I could sort of reconcile that it was all in my head because objectively I weighed about average for my height

then when my body became that reality after gaining weight I now despise like every pic of me. And it's like hating how I look but then feeling ashamed for hating how I look in a bigger body. I can see other women of all sizes and see how gorgeous they look but I can't extend that courtesy to myself. Even today I tried on clothes and most didn't fit and everything felt so unflattering and I just hated all of it

I had to force myself to not buy clothes that were cute but too small with the bad mindset I'll lose the weight and it will fit eventually.

I honestly feel like I just need to hold off on buying clothes until I can work on fixing my brain

 

Probably not a great start for my new meds when I pick them up and have sticker shock from the cost. Going from $5 to $45 for meds isn’t great and giving me anxiety that it’s supposed to help with lol

 

Yeah that sucks. Sorry :(

My daughter’s ADHD meds are like $170

 

Like I felt stupid asking if it was even being covered by insurance and they calmly pointed to how without insurance the meds were $688 or so.

meanwhile my trazadone is $2.12 lol.


Remembered shortly since my post that my new doctor sent me some text message with a prescription savings coupon. Not sure if it would have helped tho. (Might not be compatible with insurance so doesn’t seem likely to have helped me)

 

Being a sick person is so expensive.

 

$688 before insurance is fucking insane. It probably costs like 1 cent per pill to manufacture.

 

I don’t think you’re boring at all!

 

I have a kid and a job I strived to get and also still struggle with a sense of direction and purpose. From my perspective, which isn’t always helpful to hear, you have a lot going for you. I am biased because I am nearly 40 but 34 is still so young, and 10k in debt is so little, and you seem like a smart and interesting person from what you post around here. Your feelings are totally valid though, just sharing in case it’s helpful to hear.

 

I feel like my mental health has been garbage even more so the last few months. Ocd, anxiety, depression. I feel like i'm constantly overthinking everything to the point it is almost impossible to fall asleep.

 

I can't keep taking major Ls week after week. I am beyond defeated.

 

Having so much trouble being motivated to be a person lately. A lot of "every decision I have ever made is bad" rattling around my brain. It is what it is but it sucks.

 

I'm having a horrible existential crisis and panic attack and the upcoming election is making it worse. I can either take a sleeping pill or try to distract myself. I don't know what to do.

 

the bug that’s been going around the office finally got me, on my favorite day of the year no less. it’s stupid but this is the last halloween i’ll have before the baby comes and i’m just so disappointed i can’t actually enjoy it.

 

Ugh, so just found out the gas in my building is off indefinitely until my landlord can get ahold of everyone in the building and get them all there at the same time. It’s looking like I’m gonna be working a stove/oven for a bit. Why does this need to happen now? I don’t need added stress! Can’t even make my morning coffee. This is gonna be so dumb and needlessly expensive until it’s fixed