The Story So Far - I Want To Disappear (June 21, 2024) • Page 12

Explain to me how acknowledging and boycotting NP but being okay with TSSF makes sense. I do not understand.

 

I am sorry that a member of a band that you like chooses to work with a person who has committed sexual abuse.

 

Why not say you’re sorry that I’ve been sexually abused if u care about it so much LOL. ?? Like ur not making a difference here to the 5 ppl following this. You can use ur time for the cause much better. We just want to talk about music that helps us be happy and escape

 

First, I am sorry that happened to you. Second, I do actively make a difference on a daily basis outside of this website, and I don’t owe it to you or anyone else on here to prove that, lol. I am perfectly okay with my life and what I do to help people. Finally, as I keep saying, if I can get one person to become aware of the situation or to think twice about giving this band or Parker or Harry any sort of support, I will have done my job. In my pursuit, will I make some people mad or uncomfortable? Probably. But my goal is to shed light on the shitty things that they did/continue to do, not to shame anyone for listening to the band. So, for maybe the fifth time tonight, there’s nothing wrong with listening to this band or using them as an escape or talking about them. I do think that you should spend your money supporting someone else, though.

 

I simply pirate the music so I don't monetarily support the guy in a band with an abuser. Seems easy enough to me!

 

I am not even touching on the nebulous zone of streaming, either! I am trying to make this pretty concrete haha. Buying records or merch, going to shows, actively trying to stop someone from spreading awareness or speaking out. That’s my line.

 

TSSF is a different branch. The rapist drummer isn’t in the TSSF. Parker’s bad judgements and relationships are his own issues. If the rapist was in TSSF I believe it would be different and rightfully so.

How far will this branch of association have to be? Should they also avoid any tour or festival Parker plays?

It’s up to the individual, and I think each person is fair to either see it as going too far or not encroaching on their enjoyment of TSSF’s music.

I only stream their music and have no desire to actually buy an album or attend a show, but that’s me and I don’t think it’s an admission of indifference if someone is the opposite.

 

I’ve stated pretty clear reasons why this isn’t just a “branch”. Parker is the leader of this band. He garnered fame and power from this band. He then started a side project and picked a known rapist out of a sea of drummers to be in his band. So that fame and power gets allocated to a dude who should not and did not have anywhere near that platform. I don’t see how people aren’t comfortable writing off supporting Parker in general based off of that, but they do feel comfortable boycotting NP. Supporting this band, or at the very least not being vocal about Parker working with a rapist, is just about as harmful as supporting NP

Also, I would absolutely avoid any tour TSSF is on. Festival is a bit more murky. But that’s me.

 

The hierarchical influence among the band members is something I don’t think many people consider. Those who dismiss the band due to Parker would do so if another member had the same relationship with a rapist. Those who see a gap would still see a gap if it was the guitarist.

TSSF also started before NP. There are more emotions and memories with TSSF. I’m just speculating, of course.

I don’t really care if someone listens to or supports the band. That’s their own deal. There’s a myriad of reasons why someone may do so and I can’t care to condemn them for it. I won’t purchase a TSSF album and I’ll say why if someone asks but that’s not my soapbox.

I also think it’s good if someone lets listeners know of the situation.

 

Do you eat at Chick Fil A?

 

So, how about the last 30 seconds of Big Blind? That some good stuff.

 

I’ll ask again for those who have heard the album…do we get any slow jams like Upside Down?

 

He already admitted to being a hypocrite. He starts with some really edgy post to get attention and then devolves into really valid/well articulated arguments that most of us agree with.

Said it once and I'll say it again, no one is looking forward to this TSSF album more than OhTheWater.

Looking forward to doing this all over again in a few weeks.

 

I think there’s a pretty big difference between talking to someone about spending money at a giant corporation with thousands of locations vs talking to people on a forum with like 3k daily users or something (idk pulling a number out of my ass) and in a specific thread with less than 300 comments

 

“Do you eat at chick-fil-a?”

 

Dude really spent his whole night in here pining for attention.

 

Really weird for someone to point out a fact and then a bunch of a people scream at him and then the screaming people get mad the conversation is going on for a while lol. Who's fault is that

 

This conversation would've been 2 posts long if the initial reply was "yeah, Parker's a piece of shit, it sucks he makes music I like, I have to keep all that in mind when I consider buying the album or going to a show"

 

I guess if throwing shit at a wall and pretending it will stick counts as a conversation. I'm sure half the thread will now boycott this band.

 

theres like 100 posts back and forth on the topic yes I'd call that a conversation

 

Why wouldn’t you boycott them? If you know the facts, why give them your money? This is not a Chic Fil A, or even Kanye West, level situation. The small community of fans here could make a difference, which is why I am posting here and not shouting into the void that is Twitter.

 

This thread might be the most clear cut example of a thing which is usually more mystified which is that people just take this shit super personally. Like go look at the actual post Spo made that started this and then the next 10 posts and wonder who's looking for attention lol. The jump from "I think you are wrong to give this band money" to "wow you're telling everyone in this thread they're a terrible person for listening to this band" is wild and unfounded and revealing.

Like Spo said he is a hypocrite too, it's not about being a perfect music listener, it's about just like taking this shit seriously and grappling with it. If you come to a different conclusion about what you're comfortable doing that's fine but why can't you defend it without feeling insulted? My favorite band of all time is omegaproblematic in a lot of ways and if someone told me they couldn't support them or listen to them because of that I'd be like yeah that makes a lot of sense!

 

But it’s clear the original post wasn’t to get “yeah, I agree with you” - He’s just going to bother people as long as they continue to talk about the band. Until we boycott them, he’s going to have an issue and we just want to talk about music we like without someone getting in our business.

If we ignore him he’ll just post about how we ignore him. Like, come on. We don’t need that. No one owes him anything just because he has a point to make.

 

I mean, that's not clear to me at all, but even if it was, just don't respond to the post and then there won't be three pages of arguing about it. If it's bad faith bullshit that should be easy.

Like my point is the original post is only attacking people who haven't grappled with this. If someone were to drop in the Grateful Dead thread and say "Bob Weir is a bad person!! He met his now-wife when she was 15! Don't give him your money!" I would say "yeah you're right it's insanely fucked up and I try to only buy secondary market tickets and fan merch, but I don't think a boycott is realistic or likely to be effective and the band is massive so I don't feel bad engaging with it the way I do." Because I've thought about this, worried about it, made a decision on it that I'm happy with. I wouldn't say this: