Writing • Page 6

What is NaNo anyway? I tried Googling, but I couldn't find anything.

 

www.nanowrimo.com

It's national novel writing month. Write 50k words in the month of November (and April and July for Camp NaNo). It's a party.

 

Something I wrote last year when my son was born:



“Thankful (Colin)”

This star doesn’t shoot anymore, it hangs above our sky and refuses to listen
I’ve had no sleep, but I don’t blame you for wanting better
The passing cars offer a little light,
but they're gone before you can make out the shape
We sit still and recite prayers or talk about the weather
I could have been so much better


I’ll strip the paint from my insides and expose the bare board and bones
I’ve had no sleep, but I don’t blame you and I never will
I want you to remember these moments, but I know they’re only for me
You’ll never know how you gave my arms their fill
and they became for you
I could break them chasing these kite dreams
Or fill them with gold and precious hues
But I’d rather wrap them over your body


We’re thin shadows, cast across porchlight scenes
If you carry my name, then you can never really lose me
We’re thin shadows, pinned to the ceiling of your room
I hear you breathe and know I don’t deserve you
But I’ll stay thankful
I’ll stay thankful
I’ll never be this thankful ever again
I’ll never let myself get over you

This sun doesn’t set the way it used to and now i can barely settle in
I’ve had no sleep, still feel overwhelmed and glowing
These sidewalks are going to call your name and carry your footprints
We’re so overwhelmed and I think it’s showing

These moments are for you
I could chase the bursts of light that barely hold
or fill my lungs with every sad excuse
But I’ll muster strength and put your name on my soul

We’re thin shadows, cast across porchlights scenes
If you carry my name, then you can never really lose me
We’re thin shadows, pinned to the ceiling of your room
I hold my breath and know I don’t deserve you
But I’ll stay thankful
I’ll stay thankful
I’ll never be this thankful ever again
I’ll never let myself get over you


I could go anywhere
I could be anyone
I could take anything
But my legs don’t move, my heart can’t stray
From the Leavitt street flat, where you sleep
I can’t imagine how anything will ever be the same
I’m sore, bruised and numb
Some nights these halls reflect our light
I can’t swallow the air, I can barely believe my eyes
But it’s real and carrying me over these waves
So I’ll sit tight and drift between these days
I’ll slow down, wait for the warning shot from cover
You never stir, but I guess you get that from your mother
And I love her for that

We’re thin shadows, cast across porchlights scenes
If you carry my name, then you can never really lose me
No, you’ll never lose me
I’ll be singing you to sleep
We’re thin shadows, pinned to the ceiling of your room
I hear you breathe and know I don’t deserve you
But I’ll stay thankful
I’ll stay thankful
I’ll never be this thankful ever again
I’ll never let myself get over you

 

“You Look Like Halloween”


You don’t smile anymore
I think I wiped it it clean from your chin months ago
Makes you want to bundle up on a couch alone
Listen to the birds head south for winter
Wishing they’d take you along for the ride
You don’t smile anymore
And I wish I wouldn’t keep my tongue so tied

I used to recognize the way the sun dipped into the horizon
Like it was crashing into our world, burning our insides
I used dream of blue skies so clear we could write a future across their canvas
And kick our shoes off into the air, God bless those innocent eyes
I think they turned wrinkled and worn semesters ago
I’m a chalk board showing last month’s scars and chores
Chipping away at my soul, it’s exhausting
I don’t know if I can claim to be young anymore
I don’t know if I can claim to be young anymore

And if I’m not am I worth anything?

You sit thinking of how the future looms out our window pane
How it taps the sill like the rattling of rain drops, keeping you awake
I still pace for sanity, for clarity
Take a stroll around the kitchen floor
But you don’t smile anymore
I think I wiped it it clean from your chin months ago
Makes you want to bundle up on a couch alone
Listen to the traffic of souls heading home
Wishing they’d be your home and you’d be theirs
You don’t smile anymore
And I wish I wasn’t so Goddamn frayed

You look like an October out in the rain
You look like Halloween, a mask and a tired phrase
I am the changing winds, that sweep through
And pull you from the hem, pull your loose threads
I wish I could hold you together
But I’m barely here myself
So I’ll trail along and wait for the calming leaves
To fall over us like confetti
To fall over us like we were kids with big dreams
I want to be free, but I think I’ll take happy

 

Incredible Mountains -

There's a piece of me
That doesn't speak to the beacon
That is gravity.

A break in the atmosphere
Some sort of curvy recognition
To make sense of the fact
That nothing in this world makes sense

I am my fathers son;
If the gods are fair then I am fucked
Bleak recollection of memories I shared
Where I was convenient for someone else
A head can't live on a shelf

And it's a far cry to say
I don't try to be kindhearted
Kept at a steady driven pace
Will I ever stop falling off any dim lit path?
It started as an escape,
Now I'm left in a hazy tunnel vision
Questioning every goddamn decision I make
There's only one thing, there's only one thing
In this world that I truly hate -

An inability to escape from
Feeling like I can't amount
To these incredible mountains
Always standing in front of me.

 

Inkless Pen / Empty Canvas -

Cursed,
To a life of dissonance
As your red lipstick is placed
Neatly back inside your purse
A gift, a gift from the gods who center
On thought left behind
From those that have since left this side
Of the grass we sit upon, a bed made
To keep us clean, but we lie in dirty sheets

Back to the drawing board with everything,
Empty sky lines gasping for a fill again
Repeating a cycle that begs for happiness
And a sense of something more
Current affairs are dragged into an idea
But it was only an imagination
Gold stretched across a perfect plain
Idealism obstructing view of reality
Because nothing will ever be as it was,
Or as it should be. That should be okay
Oh, it was never enough for a heart blessed
With a curse of romanticizing every little regret

Until it's found all over again,
There will be nothing greater than
The memory of the sun
And the heaviness of the sea
Waves diluting and crashing into
The person he is and the person seen
Drinking poison only to cough up
Useless words that were never meant
Such as the thought of being lonely
When far from being alone
Oh, they should've known

It weighs heavy on the heart,
A reaction of sorts
To the world outside
There's a pause, then there's a start
Carried by hands of graceful friends
And the light from your car window
With all these pistons pounding
Inside a better head, inside better men
There's nothing left, but to hope
To wait away the emptiness
That was given to a young boy
With no way to contain the flame,
Marching along the best he can
As if he's a person with a plan
And a way out of this imaginary cage

In resting days, there's only pacing
When it's time to show his face, he hides away
Attempts at capturing an essence of
Something real, something vain
Anything to bide the necessity of growing up
And seeing more than a way to fixate
On an idea, that will never be enough

 

The Year Everything Had to Stay the Same -

I don't feel like talking,
And I've already said too much
I hope you feel it when we touch
The lack of color connected to
Veins invisible through blurry eyes
I don't know if it ever did,
But this just doesn't feel right

As I feel my ocean escaping yours,
I see you've found the answers
That I can't seem to lead myself to
It's a crushing, lonely defeat
A shifting war that can't be won
Settled on beat up thoughts
Carrying me to an early grave,
Some days I'd rather not be saved from

My fight to give up and give way
Into a bigger picture where the details
Finally make sense, just keep me safe.
My words often provoke thought
Into hearts that can't handle it
Would I be happier if I said something else?
Would I be better if I were someone else?
Talking so much of my head and that shelf,
I wonder if it was made to be -
Me and only me
Inside a space that was meant to grow,
But the heart inside just can't find a way

As I depict such a grandeur onto your chest
There's gotta be a timetable for going on like this
Ticking clocks, syncing toward the sounds
Of how much time I have left
And I don't know how I got this far,
But I'm sinking and miserable again
Last year was a reflection of the past
And a moment to finally start,
Instead I took every inch and shredded it apart
Only to continue this wishful thinking that,
No matter what, I'll get through the hard parts

A gamble on love,
A shamble from above the clouds;
Rain sends a message, but we hide indoors
Standing next to an island with no chairs,
Always remember that I cared.

 

How do you guys prep for NaNoWriMo? Do you just vomit words onto the screen or actually have some sort of outline? I kinda want to do it this year but I'm wondering how extensively you plan your story beforehand.

 

ive never done it before but im just gonna plan on trying to write at least 1-2 pages a night

 

Never did NaNoWriMo, and I might try it this year, but here are some cool Medium articles I found on the subject. If you do it, best of luck!

 

planning is for the weak.

 

Last year I only got 8,000 words in because I lost sight of where the plot was headed.

This year, I've decided to write based on a story idea I had yeeeaaaaars ago but never did anything with. As I've allowed the idea to sit in my thoughts for the past few days, deeper plot ideas and character arcs have started popping into my heads. So I've been jotting those ideas down as they come to use as a general guideline when Nov 1 hits. No actually writing has been done yet, and everything could change, but at least I have a general idea of who my main characters are and where they're all headed in the "big picture."

 

By the way, here's my NaNoWriMo profile if anyone wants to add me as a writing buddy!

http://nanowrimo.org/participants/oursbyaccident

 

I had this nice plan to spend the month plotting.

I did fucking nothing.

I'm off work for the next two days - that's what all of my time is going to after tonight, for sure.

I'm going to get rekt. I'm sure of it.

 

http://nanowrimo.org/participants/lishh

 

DM me if you want to brainstorm! I'm not feeling too confident either but we can try to cheer each other on!

 

Pre-NaNo nerves are starting. I have no idea what I'm going to do. Jgsitzitjtzktzif urxkfxuryzkfzyex

 

Who's starting NaNo tomorrow? Almost no chance I get it done but I'm attempting to try.

 

Shoot, I have an idea or two. Thinking of jotting a quick outline out on index cards and running with it but I've done nothing to prepare other than talk out loud about my ideas whenever I drive around.

 

That's still something!

 

I started at midnight last night! Haha

 

That's about what I'm starting with too. No worries!

 

Hey, no worries! Just let those jitters get your fingers moving over a keyboard! Haha

 

Man, am I doing this? I don't know haha

 

Just woke up. I guess I'll be bumbling my way through... something? Blah.