Mental Health Thread • Page 421

She got to work and said three of her coworkers are also positive and symptomatic. It really is unbelievable. A lot of her patients are immunocompromised. She feels horrible.

 

@bedwettingcosmo are they able to write you a letter of recommendation/reference?

 

This is insane. There's got to be something people can do about this.

If I were a patient I would be furious.

 

Be sure to file for unemployment ASAP!
If it makes you feel any better, I’ve been laid off like a million times (COVID was a fun time) and every time I got a new job I ended up making significantly more than I was before.

 

Yeah this is so frustrating. I was hopeful that at least one good thing that would come from covid would be smarter public health outcomes and prevention strategies but we’re right back to forcing people to work around other people while sick

 

i'm leaving on good terms. the cut was purely financial and had nothing to do with my performance. my boss told me i was his most reliable employee and he was actually sobbing while he was reading me the termination script. luckily, i'm getting 7 months salary as severance so i know i'm really lucky with that. i just have 0 professional experience with applying for and interviewing for corporate jobs. i worked for fucking walmart before i started with this company at an entry level position. it's daunting.

appreciate all the positive feedback from everyone. it truly means alot.

 

Yes exactly it has nothing to do with your performance. Hence why you should ask for a letter of recommendation for future interviews/job opportunities.

 

Sorry to hear. That’s horrible that they don’t care about the patients safety/health as well as other people she works with. I would be mad if I was a patient and someone caring for me was positive with Covid or even sick not Covid.

 

Ugh what a rough day, had someone I matched with on a dating app actually ask to speak on the phone and called me twice since last night. Thought things were going good and we were texting back and forth only for them to ghost me out of nowhere. (This is especially rough since I almost never get matches here, especially to someone I'm genuinely attracted to and has a "high compatibility" score since I'm so out of step with this town), and then I had friends flake on me for a gym session after work. A sequence of events that really makes me feel like shit after things had been going so well for months

And it's just made me reflect that I've been in the situation where, again, I'm the one putting all my energy to maintaining friendships and making things happen outside of work and realizing that, no one, in turn has made a good faith effort to host something or invite me out. Just a day of feeling really underappreciated and out of step with my friends.

I haven't felt like I needed to go to a therapy session in quite awhile, but I've got a lot of vent to work through apparently.

 

alright, the initial shock from being laid off is gone and i am in a really low place rn. i'm a very schedule oriented person and waking up today with no direction and nothing to do hit me like a ton of bricks. i feel completely overwhelmed and suffocated with what to do next. also feeling like a complete failure and guilting myself for being jobless and potentially not providing for my spouse.

 

You are in no way a failure and you should harbor no guilt for a situation that was out of your control.

Reminder: it was not you. It was not your work ethic, your skills or your personality. It was a decision made because of money and number crunching. Nothing else.

The uncertainty of what to do next is going to remain daunting for a while, but try to remind yourself you have a spouse who is there with you through this and that you don't have to deal with this alone.

 

Personally, I think you deserve a break and to be kind to yourself, especially considering none of this was your fault, but if you're desperate for direction, start looking for your next gig! And w/r/t your spouse, it hasn't even been a day. I'm sure they understand. Your severance package should go a long way to take care of you in the interim.

 

I know it might be tough but I’d take at least the rest of the month off to relax and try and enjoy not having to work. That 7 months of severance will be nice and definitely gives you some time to look for something new.

 

thanks guys. my fidgety ass already signed up to do door dash lol. i think i might just chill til after christmas at least.

 

Went through something similar last year, although it was my choice to leave. If you can, allow yourself some time off, at least through the holidays, you deserve it. Then create your own schedule, wake up at the same time, get ready for the day, then your job is looking for a job, make that a set amount of time during the day and when it's done set it aside. The hardest part is being okay with not constantly being doing something. Try to fill your day and be productive, but don't be too hard on yourself if you have down time, try to enjoy because before you know it, you'll be back at work hating that too.

 

Just an FYI if you do DoorDash that will complicate receiving unemployment. Although with your severance you may not be eligible for UI yet anyway (different in every state). But just want to make sure you were aware.

 

yeah i do believe that my severance disqualifies me from unemployment here.

 

This is soooo hard. When I quit my job suddenly a few years ago (which I know is different than your situation) I was an emotional mess. My therapist at the time told me to embrace the time off because once I started work again I'd wish I enjoyed the time between jobs. I was so irritated at that because I was so stressed out about being unemployed I felt like she was being super out of touch because obviously I'm gonna be stressed! Buuuuut she was right.

The hard part is obv you never know how long you'll be unemployed and what you'll do next. It's easy to have hindsight and be like "oh I found a job two months later that pays more. Wish I would've enjoyed not working" but that's unrealistic cause obviously the uncertainty and unknown will always overpower anything else.

All this to say I hope you find a way to be kind to yourself and do things you may not otherwise have time or emotional energy to do when you're working. But if that's too difficult, do what feels best! You'll be good.

 

I wish my friends made an effort to see me. I have a big friend group in Pittsburgh and a couple of my closest friends there always say they're going to pick a time to come out and visit, but it never happens. It's mostly frustrating because I don't have a vehicle right now and they know I'm working on it, so in the meantime, if I want to see them, I have to pay for a Greyhound there and back. I know I'm not the best at keeping up with and responding to people myself, but one of my friends down there is someone I grew up with and I hear more about them through a mutual's Discord server than I do from us getting together because she never seems to have the time when she's in town for the holidays. I'm probably just being sensitive and complaining, but it's discouraging and depressing. Within a year or two, I could have a family of my own and then I'll really never see them.

 

I feel this. My best friend hasn't come to visit me in over a decade when I've been to his place no less than 10 times, and he lives in shithole town in the middle of the desert with nothing to do. We got in a big tiff 2 years ago because I called him out on it and he got very upset, and after we reconciled he promised he'd come out because he had just sold his business and had all the time in the world. Cut to two years later and he still hasn't made an effort. I promised myself I wouldn't try to set up anything with him to come visit because I'd just be disappointed and brushed off with a poor excuse, but I still tried a couple times and of course that happened. He's an odd bird and I give him a lot of leeway for his foibles, but it's really hurtful when someone who claims to be your best friend hasn't put an ounce of effort in in that amount of time, but still expects you to come see them regularly. I'm planning on getting married soon, I was the best man at his wedding, but I don't even know If I can trust him to take the time to do the same. Anyway, not to make it about me, just to say your feelings are justified and it sucks when you feel like you're the only one making an effort.

 

100%. Fortunately, the local friends we have are really good about this. I know I'm the odd man out for not living in the same city as like 10 of my friends, but I'm also only a two-hour drive away and they all have cars. I've offered to let people crash plenty of times. I think some of it may have to do with how much less there is to do here w/r/t nightlife, but I'm only asking for a weekend. It is what it is - that friend i referenced earlier messaged me out of the blue, so I guess real ones have a habit of staying in your orbit even if you don't see them in person as much as you wish you did.

 

Head off to see family for a few days on Friday. I should be feeling excited, but I mostly just feel guilty that it means boarding my cat. For me to have some enjoyment, I have to throw her little life into disarray for a short period of time.

 

I fucking hate this weird thing that everyone seems to believe around me that when you're an adult that basically means you abandon your friends. Some of it is understandable like living in different states, but there's this portion of society that just thinks when you get older and becoming an "adult" that's it, you focus on work or your marriage and that's it.

I'm a very social person and behind drained of social interactions legitimately kills me.

 

about to rant/vent for a second because i feel this.

jumping off what you said, i think what’s always bothered me is that a good number of people seem to conflate very real and valid things (having a job/responsibilities that sometimes take priority, having a family/friends/partner that you also give time to, taking time for your own hobbies and interests, needing time alone and not having capacity to be social, etc etc) with the idea that it’s alright to just abandon communication completely.

like, it’s always shared on social media, these sayings like “i’m the kind of person who can not talk to someone for years, but when we do talk it’s like we never stopped,” and it’s always a point of pride with them, but that’s so far removed from what i (personally speaking) need in any kind of relationship with another human being. i don’t expect to be anyone’s only priority, or even their first priority. but i’ve told people in the past that i need even some small level of consistency in our communication, even if it’s from afar. calling, texting, i don’t know, whatever works for you. and they’ve told me flat out they can’t give me that, and i have too high of expectations.

and the part i can never bring up because it sounds so childish out loud is like, yeah, we live in a social media age. and i can actively see you making time and maintaining friendship with other people. and i guess it goes back to that age old thing, you make time for the things that matter. and i guess i have to face and accept that i…don’t? to these people.

i don’t know how to say all that to people without coming across clingy or needy or immature. i just feel like i have such basic ideas for friendship but i’ve been made to feel by so many people like my ideas are just not attainable. like i just have to accept that they won’t be a part of my life unless/until it’s convenient for them. and asking more than that is asking too much.

but it’s been a common pattern in my life, especially as an adult, so maybe they’re right? i don’t know. i hate being lonely.

 

The other thing is proximity is a huge factor. If you live near someone you are much more likely to see them and spend time with them and social media gives the excuse to not need to actually communicate with others, but still remain "present" in their lives.

I knew someone who said to me "when you get married, that's it. They're your best friend, your priority and your social life." And they said it in such a matter of fact manner that it really irritated me. As if that's how life is supposed to be. You get married and you ditch everything else. And they were fine with it. If that's what YOU want that's fine, but recognize that's not how all people are.

I want to be in a relationship and be with someone I love, but I can't imagine just throwing my friends to the side that have been with me for literally decades at this point through all the highs and lows.

I hate social media and I hate not feeling close to people anymore. I'm more disconnected now to others than I've ever been.