Food • Page 522

It should have sent you a message with a clearer yes or no answer

 

I'm too diffrnt

 

I had a baked potato and fries from Wendy's today because I am the potato queen. Was very irritated because I forgot they have those dumb freestyle machines and so my Coke tasted gross. Shoulda got a Frosty.

 

i wish fast food restaurants would stop trying to make freestyle machines happen

 

also, shitty food porn is my new favorite thing

 

all I can think of

 

i want to make these into stickers and put them on every freestyle machine i come across

 

@Arby's

Gonna climb the smoke mountain.

Will report back.

 

U r a brave soul

 

What the everloving fuck are they even trying to do? I'm unhappy that they went past cutting the sandwiches.

 

This is great!!!!!

 

I believe its what they call satire miss lish

 

Lol, i actually think they were for real

A Cheesy Martini Is Better Than a Dirty One

 

Holy shit

 

I could've written every line of this comment!

 

...that could be true. I've run into enough people doing stupid shit that I wouldn't be surprised if it was serious

 

NSA should shut that shit down.

 

Totes

 

Woohoo

 

It worked!

 

If you run @AelNire out of this thread I will fight you.

 

Smoke Mountain: The Review

....shit, I can't remember how I've been formatting these things.

Appearance: I'll start by saying that the promotional image for this thing is bullshit. Like, I expect that my sandwich is not going to look exactly like it does on the menu but imagine my dismay when I opened up my Arby's box to see what basically just looked like a normal Arby's sandwich. I should have known when it came in a standard sized box. I was expecting, or perhaps hoping, that, because of the multitude of meats, my sandwich would have to be housed in some specially made giant box. It was hardly the mountain I'd been promised.

Smell: Meat.

Taste: This is the first abomination I've eaten for this thread that I was excited about. Arby's smoked brisket is pretty solid, it's hard to fuck up turkey, and even bad pork belly is good pork belly. If I didn't have a modicum of self respect I would have ordered 3 of these and then just lay in bed covered in meat grease and meat sadness. Unlike Burger King, Arby's seems like it might actually give a shit. Like obviously this sandwich shouldn't exist, nobody needs all of that in one sandwich. But the Smoke Mountain flies in the face of god and has the audacity to still taste fucking awesome. The Whopperito and the Mac'n'Cheettos are basically middle fingers into the uncaring void and the Smoke Mountain is like a middle-class teenager wearing a black t-shirt with an anarchy sign, both futile but one is less offensive if a bit misguided.

Jesus, how did I get here?

Anyway, I think that the meats probably work better on their own. The meat bits that I hoovered out of the bottom of the cardboard box like an animal were all pretty distinctly good but combined you really couldn't decipher the individual meats.

I'm gonna dedicate a whole separate line to the fucking pork belly because holy shit that thing was good. I don't even care if it is like the McRib and is just some sort of fat, pork amalgamation formed to look like pork belly because it was amazing. I want to sleep on a bed of pork belly and just wake up and eat my pillow.

Intangibles: I felt a lot less shameful ordering these things. Arby's treats you like a fucking adult. Ordering a Whopperito is a fucking shameful act and the person who receives your order clearly thinks you're a piece of shit. It also helped that the kid at the counter was 16 and had not had the life sucked out of him by minimum wage work. Shout out to Montana, who awkwardly asked how my day had been and said "Good on ya!" when my lady said she would indeed donate a dollar to the No Children Left Without Arby's to Eat and Be Happy Times Fund.

Score: 5 different meats out of 5

 

This is my favorite review

 

This was beautiful