Mental Health Thread • Page 377

I mean, I feel like this thread is for that exactly. But no pressure for you to share. Just saying this is a place to do that.

 

My rent is going up to the point I can’t afford. I’m still underpaid as fuck. I can’t easily quit my job because I’ll lose my insurance on top of other factors that make it difficult for me to even find a job elsewhere. I’m already struggling as it is. Don’t qualify for food stamps. I don’t know what to do

 

I'm so sorry

 

Sometimes I feel like a really bad person. I don't think I am, but I know I've done bad things. I've also taken steps to rectify those mistakes and keep them from happening in the future, but this ongoing issue between my ex-friend and current friends has me second guessing everything about myself. I feel like a bad friend/family member/partner/human being and like I'm undeserving of getting married at the end of the month.

 

that's not the truth though

 

Just cause you feel like a bad person doesn’t mean you are one. Feelings of regret and being self critical are pretty common symptoms of depression/anxiety/etc. Seeing how you respond to other people here and how worried you are about your wife’s happiness is enough to prove that. Just try to remember that some days are harder than others and the things that feel like truth today might seem ridiculous tomorrow.

 

It's definitely thought distortions and I appreciate the validation. Feeling a bit better after taking my anxiety medication and a short nap. This is why therapy and medication (and friends) are so important. Thanks guys

 

always

 

Just got through a rough week myself and it can feel hopeless at times. You are your own worst critic

 

Absolutely. Especially when your brain is already wired incorrectly.

 

I sometimes think the same, but then I spill my guts and everyone here is just so amazing.

 

*TW* this is about a Cat. I've never had PTSD smack me in the face as hard as it did Sunday. I needed a few days to process and cry.

5 years ago, my cat Hendrix was hit by a car. I found him two hours later, he was still alive but he was badly injured. I had to put him down and it was the most fucked up experience of my life.

Sunday afternoon as I was taking a lunch break from doing Instacart, I saw someone hit a cat and just fucking drive away. I did a fucking U-turn in the middle of the street and ran....yes I RAN to the cat where two other girls had also stopped and we moved the poor baby.

Ever watch a grown woman sob in the middle of the road with a cat? I fucking lost it. One of the girls was actually a Vet Tech, she checked the cat, we could tell she was a mommy (which made me sob even more cause now I'm like I wish I could find the kittens) but it was just too late. This sweet black and white, probably not even a year old cat was gone. In a way, I'm glad it was quick and she didn't suffer....but I am fucking destroyed.

The 3 of us brought the sweet girl to the Vet that was thankfully right up the street. These two strangers and I hugged each other and cried and then went on with our days.

I am so angry that the person didn't stop. I don't care if its a stray or someone's beloved pet...YOU DON'T JUST DRIVE AWAY!!!!! I hope that person flips their car on 290

 

Today was one of those days at work where in the moment there was so much comical bullshit that went wrong that it seriously made me think about texting something cryptic to my manager about leaving if shit doesn’t get fixed. But, hours later I’ve simmered down. I know there are issues and severe annoyances that won’t ever actually be addressed but I also know the grass isn’t always greener on the other side / with another company and as Limp Bizkit once famously said, maybe it’s “just one of those days”.

I try to remember all the good my job does bring me and remember how bad others have it and how shitty some of my past jobs have been to help keep me thankful and level headed and not to make a rash decision but man, there are times where I feel like if I don’t do something extreme (quit, threaten to quit) then nothing is going to change and sometimes the idea of Jokering it all up and watching how much of the office would burn down if I abruptly left sounds fun but I’m just not that kind of person. And then I get frustrated that everyone else knows that and that’s why I get taken advantage of and asked to do all the shit that I get asked to do and it’s not my character to say no because I like to be busy and then the cycle repeats endlessly until I die lol

 

This one is a little more trivial but I’d really love to be able to fly without being convinced I’m going to die. Two of the last five times I’ve flown I’ve had panic attacks (I was in tears and froze in the tunnel before boarding one time last year) and it fucking sucks, any bit of turbulence or anything that feels/sounds slightly out of the ordinary I think we’re fucked. I have a flight this afternoon and I’m trying to distract myself. I always listen to Washed Out and play Breath of the Wild on flights and it usually takes my mind off it but the lead up to take off and take off still have me anxious.

 

Holiday seasons are coming up and it’s really depressing because I’m once again, all alone

 

Nothing deteriorates my mental state like being financially insecure, and I just got laid off today. Fuck I have no idea what i’m going to do.

 

Man that sucks, I’m sorry. I’ve been laid off like 4 times (lol yikes) so I know how it feels. Did you get a severance at least? Be sure to apply for unemployment ASAP!

 

Had a revelation recently: I had to move to a smaller apartment (From a big two apartment to small one apartment) and I realized how much stuff I have that no one person needs (lots of shoes, posters, games) to the point where it made my move so long and painful and has left me pretty deep in debt. Then several of my friends informed that they've been worried I'm a hoarder for awhile. Even though it came from a place of love, I'm feeling deep, deep embarrassment, partially because I think living in a bigger place allowed me to live in denial. I've decided to go back to therapy and pare down pretty much everything I own.

 

the notion of nuclear war wiping the entire world out as we know it has been keeping me up fairly often lately

so that's fun

 

I’m a hoarder/collector and I have no shame about it. But I wasn’t able to do so for like 7 years really and have been making up for it now.

 

Hey, huge ups for recognizing it and doing something about it. That's a really big step.

 

Seeing these tik toks of couples make me jealous because I don’t have that. And I probably never will. No matter how hard I try, and every dating app I’ve tried, there is no one that catches my interest nor is there anyone that fits what I’m looking for where I live. I’m terrified to end up alone. And it’s probably going to happen. Mentally, financially… I can’t do it. I don’t know how much longer I can take it

 

This is literally me. Though the last couple times I finally asked for a anxiety med and it’s worked wonders

 

Thank you! I've had hoarding tendencies for awhile. But I feel like I've been hit with signs that I really need to address it, like bringing someone back home and being worried they might find out that I have too much stuff. The shame is deep and I'm ready to be rid of it.

 

i understand this feeling. i had to stop pointing the finger at every bad person that popped up in the scene and start showing more understanding and forgiveness, or in some cases just ambivalence was enough, but back in those days i was always projecting because i have some extremely, extremely dark skeletons in my closet and people always tell me im not defined by my bad decisions. which if that were true why am i defining all these other people that i dont even know and are way out of my stratosphere by their bad decisions? it took an honest look inward into where that anger and spite was coming from to realize the world is so much more complex than little tabloid type quips and pseudo-psychological buzzwords that define every scandal in the scene. and that same complexity lies within myself. and my mental illness absolutely played a role in my horrible behavior. no, its not an excuse, but context matters and wrapping up my self identity into just being a self-loathing and resentful junkie brought me nothing but the deepest of pain. im finally at a place where i feel like im healing and im also helping to heal a lot of the damage i have caused to those closest to me in the process. thats just me though and what i went through and the thing that really brought me so much pain, but all you can really do is try to be a better person today then you were yesterday, my mom always says that. and maybe people feel some type of way about it, but a little understanding and grace can really change your perspective on a lot of stuff. and that starts from within.