Mental Health Thread • Page 367

Been dwelling on mistakes I've made and feeling like like a fraud/bad person/bad partner for the past week or so.

 

My wife took our cat to our normal vet and she said her recommendation is to not see a specialist because any surgery required will be mega expensive and that she’s nearly 15 and it should be about keeping her comfortable. She’s been in twice in the last 6 weeks because she would stop eating and it’s due to her getting backed up and then she is uncomfortable and doesn’t eat. Twice she’s been to the emergency vet and they’ve twice had to put her under to get that taken care of, this time being worse than before. To have the vet say that if it happens again, they’re recommendation is to put her down is not unexpected but just crushing.

 

I feel like a failure. I’m no where near where I wanted to be in life. I’m just existing. Existing is boring. Part of me wonders maybe I should really have done myself in at 15. Nothing has changed. Still depressed. It’s not going to “get better”. It never has. Not even close. That’s just a lie people tell others to make them feel hopeful. I’m never going to be able to own a house because there’s no way in hell I can afford it on my own. I still get treated like a fucking child by my dad sometimes. I’m just cursed.

I also hate how people talk about the RvW thing and how the baby wants to be born etc. I would never have chosen this life. If I would have known the life I have is what it is, I wouldn’t want to live. I’m not living a good life. I’m existing in a miserable existence.

 

I'm really sorry. I know I don't know you, but I enjoy reading your posts and your presence on this website. Do you mind if I ask if you're currently seeing anybody, a therapist or a psychiatrist? I know it's not always affordable (especially depending on insurance), but there are other options in the interim that can help. I get down on myself all the time about the way I look, how unmotivated I am, mistakes I've made, but I don't believe it's a lie to say it can and does get better. It doesn't happen overnight, but there are small ways we can position ourselves to be happier that I really think can make the good days great and the bad ones mostly tolerable. Regardless, I'm not here to preach, I just hope you know we're happy you're here and want you to stay DMs are always open if you need someone to talk to.

 

No therapist atm. Money is tight, also my work schedule makes in difficult :/

 

have you looked into something like BetterHelp? I KNOW it's not as good as actual therapy, but I had a friend going through a terrible depression and battle with alcoholism. BetterHelp was enough to keep him afloat while he waited to get in with a therapist and eventually go to rehab. It's not a permanent solution, but it may be an affordable alternative in the meantime!

 

I’ve thought about it. I’m just not sure therapy for depression will do much for me since I know the cause of it.

 

Therapy, to me, is being able to say and talk about anything that’s bothering you and a neutral party that can see the way we view ourselves better than we can. It’s easier for them to see patterns and thought process as an outside party. They can help give you tools to help reformat the way you think. While I wouldn’t say therapy should be required for everyone, I would say anyone who does it and is honest can benefit no matter where you are in life.

 

All of this. My therapist has told me directly that she appreciates my willingness to be honest and open to new ideas and techniques because that’s one of the hardest things to do. It’s terribly uncomfortable sometimes, but I really do want to change or at least be able to look back and say that I tried. I have learned so much. An absolute game changer.

 

What everyone else said! I've felt what you're feeling (different circumstances, obviously) but simply having someone from the outside looking in equip you with the tools to change your thought distortions is really, incredibly helpful. And you may need to try a couple of therapists before really clicking with someone (hopefully not), but it will be so, so worth it when you do.

 

looks like it's time again for my monthly spiral into full-on depression

goddamnit

 

Booooooo

Here if you need someone bud

 

Ugh. Finally had to schedule my kidney stone procedure despite weeks of trying to pass it myself (and even taking herbal supplements). Looking forward to having it "over with" (I have another kidney stone that isn't doing anything as of now), but I'm anxious about the surgery, the discomfort (even though it's same-day and "non-invasive), and the price tag because of our wedding in October. Just really poor timing and it will be hard for me not to worry about it until I'm through with it.

 

Do you have insurance? If not ask for charity care.

 

I do, fortunately, and it should be pretty good I think. Still have no idea whether to expect $500 or $5000.

 

My mental health has been awful. I feel like I'm responsible for everyone's lives and happiness. Both thru work and in my personal life. I feel so much pressure and try to please everyone which is a huge mistake but idk how to not feel that urge to people please. I feel bitter and resentful of it. I feel taken advantage of. I feel underappreciated. Idk how to cope with my feelings anymore. I have been on a path to lose weight so eating my feelings doesn't work so much now. Retail therapy or taking short trips somewhere else doesn't help either because I'm stressed about spending money and I don't want more stuff/clutter. I just feel dissatisfied with everything.

 

I hate not being able to help people, especially those closest to me. A little TMI, but I trust this thread. My fiancee can't get her birth control for a month(!) for some reason and now she's worried about having her period during our wedding, crying about it ruining the whole day, and I just feel awful that there's nothing I can do, in addition to how bad I feel every time she (or someone else) says something negative about the wedding. I don't blame her for being upset at all, it's ridiculous and we're both angry about it, but I'm doing everything I can to save this special day that hasn't even happened yet in my mind and everyone around me seems so sure it's not going to go well. It's extremely disheartening.

 

I’m sorry you don’t have more supportive people around you @Aaron Mook but when that day comes and you two get to stand there and see each other with the people you love most around you, none of this lead up to it will even matter by then.

 

Just want to clarify that "our period" was a typo lmao I'm not that much of a weirdo. Thank you for the kind words @bigmike

 

Once married, your problems will be her problems and vice versa

 

This is going to sound very bizarre, but depending on the type of birth control she uses, is there an option to buy some from someone? Like, I had no idea that new mothers will sell/buy breast milk on Facebook marketplace and shit (my sister did that with a coworker of mine which uh, made me, realizing how weird the internet can be). Not sure if that’s an option and as a guy have NO IDEA if a pill is a daily thing or all those details, but just throwing that out there as potentially something that can be done?

 

i think my zoloft is starting to work, my mood doesnt feel as bleak as usual lately. im not like flying high and feeling amazing or anything but my world doesnt seem to be painted in grey as much.

 

Brain is absolutely fucking with me today. Could be that it's a Sunday, could be some personal circumstances, could be the fact that I never seem to see or talk to my brother anymore, but I often feel like a bad person, partner, or friend (often for no exact reason), that I don't deserve the any of the love I get, that I DO deserve the frustration people have with me, and that I'm generally a pain to be around.

 

This sounds a lot with some thought patterns I suffer with as well. The most important thing I’ve found is that when things are so dire within my head, getting outside of it helps the most. Speaking with my wife about these worries and hearing myself say them verbally almost always helps me realize how irrational they are.

As for the brother thing I understand. The relationship between my brother and I has grown distant over the last 5 years. There was no conflict or anything, he just stopped communicating/coming around. I really struggled with it a couple years ago, but the best I could do was be happy that he seems to be doing well, even if we aren’t close anymore. I haven’t found the time/nerve to address it directly with him but obviously that could help as well.

Not a lot of real advice there, but sometimes knowing that I’m not the only that feels the way you do can help. Hope things get better soon.

 

Had a talk with my counselor at my outpatient rehab last week (I’ve worked with him a few times before I’ve done their program a couple times now so he knows me well) about self image and how easy it is for me to just see myself as a piece of shit junkie and when shit goes down and I’ve caused destruction and my family say things in the heat of the moment that reinforce that image of myself and how hard it is to break out of that and realize a. they don’t mean what they say when they’re mad they’re just afraid and b. I am so much more than my addiction, than my depression, and how much I have to offer to the world. So consider this me reminding you how much you have to offer because I know it’s hard to see it for yourself, I know more than anyone, but I promise you that you are worthy of every ounce of love you get and more