Accountability in Music • Page 563

Nah you’re good — maybe my bad for not just tagging the poster that magically disappeared from the thread the moment this all started, but I’m definitely not referring to you, who has been present in here engaging and actively listening

 

Not sure if she wants to be quoted or tagged but I want to reiterate this part of nohandstoholdonto's post:

Myself and so many other women have tried to express this for years, literally going back to the AP days. A few things happen when this overtly aggressive attitude enters these discussions:

-Those become the loudest voices and the center of the conversation instead of the actual people and/or issue at hand. It causes a distraction and creates an environment that isn't safe or encouraging of people (especially survivors) to participate in the discussion. It always very quickly devolves to name calling and hostility and is incredibly counterproductive. Everyone's temperature gets turned way the fuck up so when someone enters the conversation and is actually attempting to educate others, they either get drowned out or treated with aggression. Again, it's counterproductive.

-As others have pointed out, it makes people feel unsafe and uncomfortable participating in the community in general. I've watched so many non-male, queer, and/or BIPOC leave the site (myself included for a time!) because the vibe of the conversations get so off putting. And it bleeds out into every other thread.

Y'all have to pay more attention to the way you carry yourselves on this website. Coming into the accountability thread, which should 100% be one of, if not the, safest threads on this website and complaining that no one is talking about something is incredibly unhelpful and again immediately stokes a fire and sets an aggressive tone. Especially right now, there is so much going on in the world and in everyone's personal lives. Expecting anyone to know everything all the time is unreasonable. There's a difference between "I brought up xyz and it was ignored or someone posted a 'why should I care' gif" and "nothing's been said about this thing so clearly everyone is ignoring it and being an apologist'" If someone ever felt like this was a safe thread to find comfort or solidarity or maybe even bring up their own experiences, they certainly won't now.

 

Genuine question, what makes the 1975 shitty? As in, what have the members done that I need to be aware of.

 

Last point I'd like to make:

I understand these are sensitive issues and that they're upsetting and frustrating. But part of being an ally and an accomplice is having the tough conversations and educating people around you. When you come into these conversations with the attitude that you're walking into a fight, you aren't being a good ally. These conversations can be triggering and upsetting for survivors. It's our job to help educate others so that those people can breathe easier and I hope some of you keep that in mind when you're entering these discussions.

 

I don’t think The 1975 being shitty or preconceived notions about the members of The 1975’s thread means you need to come in here and be condescending. As others have mentioned, it’s not just this incident, but many instances from the same users who get away with this while women/LGBTQ+ voices are drowned out.

 

Yeah, wtf we all got takes on music and opinions on this or that but this is worth highlighting as wrong/incorrect/harmful online forum conduction of oneself. Really awful and I am sorry bout that.

 

@nohandstoholdonto you’re valued and a lot of people here do appreciate your voice. It’s obviously not worth the expense of your personal well being to stay here bc that’s a real shitty cost just for the community to gain your perspective. But if you do choose to stay or come back I think a lot of us would be grateful to have you around

 

there is a place for @nohandstoholdonto on this site and i hope she continues posting and less people who look like me keep detailing convos in this thread.

 

Hopefully in the future we can be more respectful and attentive to the voices of women on this website (and just nicer all around to everyone!) It’s really disappointing how few women still post on here but I can’t say I’m too surprised with how some of them are treated. Women at all levels face so much shit in the music industry, this forum should always be a place where they are welcome without any of the extra bullshit they face elsewhere in the music scene.

 

He said this when presenting P!NK the icon award. she didn’t seem phased but it’s still gross.

 

Just want to echo the love for @nohandstoholdonto, one of my favorite people to interact with both here and outside of the site. Bad faith aggression in regards to accountability overtook genuine conversation a long time ago and I hope we're able to rethink that as a community moving forward. I don't want to lose any more necessary voices than we already have, not only because they're crucial to discussions like this, but also because this site fails to be community it could be without them.

 

@nohandstoholdonto i have always loved your Weatherbox contributions, and you’re an amazing person :)

 

Gotta be honest this thread particularly seems to be a lot of people jumping on to say "fuck this piece of shit!" in response to every single situation that gets posted as well as assuming that everyone knows every detail about every controversy that has ever happened and it really just seems like virtue signaling for good boy points that does more harm than good

 

Jesus

 

Ronald McDonald back at it again

Anyway

 

I thought this was the absurdist twitter thread when I saw that.

 

amazing that it is still his bio and no one has kicked his ass yet

 

dude sucks

 

what a fucking jackass

 

Truly a joke of a person

 

I've been trying to explain to one of my friends why he's just...not well-liked by a lot of folks and I think this might seal the deal.

 

And people say he doesn’t try to court an alt-right audience. Jfc

 

he absolutely does try to court a right-wing/fash audience and this is proof of it

absolute fucking scum

 

fucking loser