Tiny Things That Annoy You • Page 66

when you hold the door open for someone but they walk really slow and you didn't plan for all that, so now you're standing there waiting for them for what starts to be an uncomfortable amount of time but you don't want to abandon it altogether because you'd look like a real asshole if you did. so you wait what feels like 30 seconds for Judy to get to the door

 

when you can hear someone throwing up in the bathroom, through 2 closed doors and over music.

 

When a jalapeño tastes more like a bell pepper than a jalapeño

 

Did she at at least seem grateful?

 

yeah, most people do

 

When a bug flies / buzzes near your ear or right in front of your eyes out of nowhere

 

when a bug flies into your mouth

 

When I try to meal plan for the week but then the week comes and I don't feel like eating any of the things I planned

 

Big same

 

Clogging the toilet

 

little tip for that: flush your poop before you wipe

 

Ahhh yes. The ole' toilet clog.

 

What if the TP isn't the issue?

 

carry a knife or pair of scissors with you into the bathroom and chop it up if need be

 

Clothing hanger...works like a charm.

 

a flamethrower might be a good idea too

you can melt that poop down

 

or maybe just start shitting in the yard

that should solve it

 

Stop eating only butter

 

Just realized that I've been calling one of my employees by the wrong name for 2 weeks. I interviewed her, hired her, sent her through orientation, and set up computer access under the name Steph. Her name is fucking Beth. Goddamn masks.

 

do you also think my name is Travib?

 

Your name isn't Radish?

 

no, sorry

it is my safe word tho

 

This cowlick that prevents my bangs from laying down flat!!!

 

On Mondays, honestly everything