2 Dating 2 Relationships Thread II: The Squeakquel NSFW • Page 108

Another day in LA

 

Ig has dark mode??

 

Yesss

 

Indeed. Now you can slide into them DMs and not burn your eyes

 

This made me laugh so fucking hard

 

I've attributed a lot of my recent depression to this ghosting guy but after thinking about it today I realized it's not rly that. I get depressed around the holidays and I think it's mostly that + PMS. Which is reassuring because I was like wtf why am I so hung up on this random guy I barely know, but then is frustrating because that means there is no quick fix. Meh. I've totally been scapegoating this rando for my own issues welllllp lol. Thank gawd I have a therapy appt this week

 

Yesterday was a horrible birthday until I got to be with Hannah later that night. At my full time job I got in trouble for taking personal calls and texting, and I went to the one girl I trusted (kind of in a rage ngl) and was like it's my fucking birthday and my family was calling me. I can tell she was a little taken aback but it's like I have worked here over a year, am doing two people's jobs right now, show up on time and work hard, and on one day when I am already in the middle of a shit show trying to call for apartments, deal with my ex, etc., yes I did take a few personal calls when my mom and dad called me. Fuck man give me a break, I'm struggling enough as it is.

Then went into my part time job and my asm told me that people are talking shit to our manager about Hannah and I and saying we are getting "special privileges" because some of our managers have been letting us take breaks together. I'm...??? I have been thinking about it because I am really wondering if it's true. First of all he told me to not tell Hannah, which I didn't because I didn't want to hurt her cause she loves this job. He told me people have complained several times. But I've been wondering if maybe he's either making that up or my store manager is saying that that is the case because he's a fucking homophobe and they're making it difficult for us. My asm has acted really uncomfortable about the whole situation and I think it's partially because he has a crush on her. I told Hannah we should probably step back at work and be less open about things, because there are a few people I don't trust, but most of the people there are my friends and have been nothing but supportive and don't like my store manager and would never betray our trust like that. I don't know who to believe at this point.

So all that on top of my ex, finding an apartment, having to rent a uhaul and move my shit out of the apartment when I literally have no place to bring it really put me in a dark place yesterday. But she pulled me out of it, which nobody in my life has ever done before. She really just keeps reaching in and pulling me from the darkest depths of myself and it really helps me know she's something special.

After work she bought me Taco Bell and we went and sat in my car in the parking lot across the street, which has kind of become our place to chill. It was snowing. Anberlin was playing, and when (*Fin) came on she was like ok you have to open your present right now. So I read the attached note out loud with her there, crying because it was so beautiful, and when I opened the first gift it was a medallion for the Patron Saint of Lost Causes, her favorite saint because she sees herself as a lost cause and knows I do too, and also a recurring theme in Anberlin's songs who she knows mean so much to me. She then gave me a literal key, the key to her heart, which she has been saving since she was little to give to the one person who could have her heart for life. She wrote that even if this didn't work out she would want me to keep it because there's nobody who has ever seen her like I do. Y'all I bawled and then told I love her, which she reciprocated.

It's unreal how quickly everything is moving but I have never met somebody in my life that just fits in all the right places in my heart. She has a grant scholarship that she can use to go anywhere in the country to school with, and she told me we need to choose a place. We are legitimately considering LA because 1) gayyy and 2) we both have had dreams of going. So in less than a year we could both be moving to LA together and it's terrifying but also beautiful and she really has taught me to allow myself to feel what I feel and not feel guilty about it or question it too much.

Oh yeah she got me a bonsai tree the other day and flowers today. She really is melting my cold dead heart for real.

 

My ex just texted me that he feels badly about having me move everything out so soon and that if necessary he will make the storage unit available to me, paid through December and then transferred to me, so I can have a place to put everything. He said he knows I am dealing with two jobs, a new relationship, and coming out and understands how difficult it must be for now.

Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve any kindness from him whatsoever because even though this is what is right for both of us, I am still putting him through hell. But his kindness still means the world to me and is very relieving. It is so hard right now that I was really losing it yesterday trying to figure out where everything is gonna go. I might have to take him up on this.

 

oh my god trying hard not to cry at my desk right now this is so beautiful!!!

 

Thank you so much Don't know what I did to deserve her but the universe really worked some magic.

 

Sounds like he's coming around too

 

I'm glad because there's no reason it has to be an angry split, we both care about each other and these circumstances are unfortunate but nobody's fault. It'll get there in time.

 

same; it was a nice thing to read this morning.

 

That was like so sappy and amazing to read @K0ta!

 

Thank you Mike!!!

 

Last day of archery class. Was gonna ask for cute archery girl’s number but this dude kept on hovering and I was a coward.

thank god she asked for mine

 

that's a flex

 

Wow, what a whirlwind of emotions.

 

So I just never re-downloaded all the dating apps when I upgraded my iPhone in October and I definitely feel like I'm a lot happier. Sure, Im still lonely, but I don't feel s bad about it, and Ive noticed my mood has been better the last month.

IDK, maybe its just the phone

 

Is it gonna be weird making out with someone your own age

 

he hit a bullseye

 

omg so my coworker asked me to cover her shift today and i was like ya sure (but on the inside i was like noooo my day offffff) and so i go to Walgreens to get a drink and "Wendy" was there and since the store was dead, we actually had a pretty nice/natural conversation. nothing felt forced and she was enjoying the conversation and she asked questions back!! coincidentally, we both are covering a friends shift today, haha. On my way out I was like "I'm Iago by the way, we see each other all the time but I don't think I've introduced myself! Anyway, see you around and have a nice shift" and she said "You too!!"

:]