2 Dating 2 Relationships Thread II: The Squeakquel NSFW • Page 99

I am a sucker

 

This whole dating attempting thing is forcing me to do self-reflection which is ultimately good, but difficult. When I don't put myself out there I don't have anything I need to work on, because I'm not experiencing anything or growing as a person. I need to learn to accept the moment as it is. Like it sucks when someone texts you consistently often and then begins doing it way less. Like it's either one of two things: they genuinely are losing interest and I need to be okay with that, or they have not lost interest and are just busy (it is the holidays) and I need to be confident in myself and okay with not needing like constant validation. Either way it requires work from me and boooooo that's no fun

 

@Kiana im going through the exact same thing right now. working on urself is hard but so necessary, let’s keep growing!

 

Well, we’re officially dating now. Feels good, man

 

Congrats

On spending three months salary

 

saw the cute coffee girl in the hallway in a completely different part of campus and now im sad things didnt work out :(

 

And I thought you and I had something. So mean.

congrats!

 

Did you say anything to her?

 

Only bad thing about being in a committed relationship is not being able to tell y’all new interesting tinder stories, like I would totally use “what do you think about Reagan” as an opening line on my next match

 

i dunno what i'm going to do about this situation. i will be out of the country on a trip for two weeks and i hope it gives me some clarity. but i know as i'm out there it's gonna be weighing on the back of my mind. not sure what will happen when i get back.

 

in the words of the great Kim Possible, what’s the sitch?

 

I love you

 

I can't say much. But I really love my gf. She's in a tough predicament that fuckin sucks and I want her to be happy. So I may have to break up with her in order for her to be happy. But I don't want to break up.

 

dang that sucks
I don’t have much in the way of advice for a situation like that other than to communicate with her. make sure that she knows where your head & heart are with her predicament and hopefully you guys can make a decision together on whether it’s best to break up or not.
hope things work out

 

So I still don't know if I'm being ghosted or not but like regardless I had an epiphany today that like... Even if I am being ghosted this is purely an ego thing. Sure I like him but it's not more than like a surface crush at this point. If I am ghosted I'm not bummed because he's such an amazing beautiful soulmate or something, I'm bummed because it bruises my own ego. Which is a ridiculous reason to be upset. If someone doesn't wanna be with me it doesn't mean it's personal - just that we aren't compatible and like that's fine. But of course my emotional brain tries to convince me that it's a "me" thing when it's not. Like I wonder if I have been too guarded, too cynical, this or that, when like logically I know it doesn't mean anything is "wrong" with me. But wow does my brain try to convince me there is.

Anyway, I know he's moving and hosting Thanksgiving in his new home where he'll be cooking the meal, so I'm gonna give the benefit of the doubt until after the holidays. If I still don't hear anything then like... Kanye shrug. not knowing if you're being ghosted feels worse than anything else. So at least giving a timeline makes it feel more like... Closure? Idk


Tl;Dr still don't know his thoughts on Reagan lol

 

funny enough, i see her again on campus. I was chilling with friends in the cafeteria at like 5pm-ish near the microwave and she walked by to heat her food and since our table was right next to the place she was at, l kinda just go "Hey! Whats up?" and wave and she says hi back. I walk over to her like 2 mins later against my better judgement and try to talk to her while she was waiting for her food to cook and it was kind of. not. there.

I asked what she was having for food and she said rice, and I was like "oh thats cool! im Brazilian so like I have rice all the time; are you having anything else with it?" and shes like "yeah, some meats and greens" and I was like oh cool!!

Then I asked her about work, as she told me she was working over the weekend, and she said it was alright, and I was like "oh thats good... I had work myself, the pizza place I mentioned before, and it wasnt too bad. had a customer try to prank call which was pretty funny" and halfway through going over the quick story, I realized she wasnt really invested in the conversation and I felt super embarassed and my heart break inside so i was like "anyway... uh, you said youre just chilling, so if you want, feel free to join us at our table! see ya around" and she was like "yeah!"

and i walked away and she just walked away so yeah :/ thats the 3rd time ive extended an invite trying to be friendly that she didnt take (the others was giving my number in which she didnt text back and telling her imma be at the school's game room all day last thursday if she ever wants to stop and say hi/hang) so im just gonna not bother her anymore cuz i feel awk about the fact that i might be "that guy" in her eyes and that makes me feel really bad about myself

 

also i found out recently my previous partner just got into a relationship with a nice guy she started being close with at the end of our relationship. while im def not the kind of guy who restricts who their partner sees bc of pitty jealousy, cuz i respect my partners decisions to pursue meaningful platonic relationships with other people, having this one-two punch of not doing so well with the crush, followed by the realization that my past relationship possibly ended not just bc she fell out of love, but bc she possibly started developing feelings for someone else during the shell of our relationship, makes me feel double sad so here i am drinking on the couch after just coming back from the bar with friends lol

 

Started kind of seeing that girl that just got out of a 6 year relationship. At first we were just hanging out a lot as friends that were clearly attracted to each other, then we kinda started kissing and doing some other things, and then about a week after that she kinda pulled back and was like I’m not ready for this. Tonight she kissed me and I didn’t really kiss her back, and told her I didn’t want her to keep changing her mind back and forth and like I’m fine with kissing her if that’s what she wants but if her heart still isn’t in it then we shouldn’t. She respected that, and probably even preferred that but it just leaves me feeling so empty.

I like her so much and I know that she likes me a lot too but just being her friend is very difficult, for both of us. However, it does seem like it will lead to something more eventually. But right now it’s all just very bittersweet. I don’t want to stop hanging out with her but like, I almost feel like that would be for the best, at least for both of our like mental health. This post is kinda pointless because I have no intentions of not hanging out with her anymore. Just kinda voicing what I’m feeling lately. The thing is, it’s very real and we both obviously have real feelings for each other, it’s not a typical rebound where one party is maybe more invested than the other. So I don’t want to just like walk away only to have her meet someone else when the timing isn’t so shitty.

 

THROW EVERY MUNCHKIN YOU CAN FIND.

 

My gf and I met at work and it's a super tight knit group of people that I love, but we're nervous about letting the rest of our coworkers know. One girl knows and we went out last night with her and she's our biggest fan, so freaking cute. But she told us that apparently our manager was grilling her about me, my gf's, and my good friend who works there's sexuality and then said "are you, me and *other coworker* the only normal ones here?" and by that he meant straight because most people I work with there are queer. He quickly backpedaled on the use of that word but it made her feel super uncomfortable and she was like yeah that's not cool. We already thought he might be a problem because he doesn't even like when coworkers hang out together (which I don't get AT ALL we are all really good friends and it makes the store a happy place to be), but his subtle misogyny at times and apparently homophobia have me very nervous.

Another layer is one of my good friends who works there is also a lesbian that I consider one of my best friends and we hang out a ton. We're nervous about telling her because we suspect maybe she has a crush on me or would be weirded out by us dating and we don't want anything to change between us.

I am only seasonal so the implications for me from management would be short lasting (he uses the schedule to punish people he's pissed at for whatever reason, when my good friend and I started hanging out there he started scheduling us opposite shifts, etc.) but my gf is an actual employee and I'm worried she'll have to put up with retaliation and him saying things to her. Every single other person we work with is wonderful and will be supportive ultimately but my manager really is a threat I think. It's a private company and we know high level management personally by name so we have contacts should anything get weird but I really don't want my gf to go through that.

We're all going out later tonight and we were thinking of telling our coworkers but we're nervous it'll get back to our manager. Tough place to be because we're so happy and just want to share this with everyone we care about and be able to be openly affectionate around them.

 

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I hope that your manager doesn't cause any problems for you or your gf. This doesn't sound easy, but I'm really excited for you.

 

Thank you @Ken I've never felt so much like something was right and will work in my life which is crazy as somebody who has spent 30 years with a mentality that is just waiting for the other shoe to drop and lose all the good things. So we wanna share that, just sucks that some people can't see the beauty in what we got. It'll be fine though, we have plenty of people in our corner rooting for us.

 

I would maybe confirm if she's actually divorcing first and whatnot just to make sure. Definitely wouldn't want things to be construed in the wrong way

 

So this is a really concerning thing I am going through with my ex. I've felt really really bad about hurting him, so I have been trying to be really cautious with his heart and have allowed contact with him that I think is starting to get inappropriate for people who just broke up a week ago.

We've had a lot of talks and I thought it was progress but I believe he is starting to take advantage of the leeway I have given. The day after we broke up he called and texted me a few times, at like 11am or something. Apparently he was having a breakdown. I did not pick up, I just texted back that I needed time and maybe I would come over to talk the next day. He texted me the next morning like "are you going to come over?" I did. We talked a lot and tbh because at the end of it he felt better I didn't think through a few of the things he had said. He said he didn't want me to tell certain people in my life about the breakup because he still wanted to hang out with my friends because "they're his friends too" - actually they're all my friends and he has no friends here, so I felt bad and was like okay...also didn't want to tell my dad cause I invited him to Thanksgiving tomorrow (again, cause he has nobody here) but now he's trying to carpool together and I am actually incredibly anxious that I have to spend time with him tomorrow.

He's using the excuse of us packing stuff up/needing to figure that out to keep up contact. He called me on Saturday driving to the storage unit telling me I should come and see what's in there to figure it out, it was all amicable and I had to work anyway but still...I suggested I come over to pack up some of my stuff while he was away for the weekend next week and he was like "Idk if we need to do that" etcetc because he wants to do this stuff together. He's still operating like we are a couple making decisions together.

He texts/calls me daily, sometimes he will text me, then call me, then text again all throughout the day even when I don't answer. If I say "maybe I'll call you later" he takes that as a definite and then will text me "should I stay up or are you not calling?" like I still owe him my time. He wants to still have a relationship with my family and asked if he could come over my aunt's to do laundry and hang out. Apparently he called my grandma. I thought this was ok at first, like I didn't want to cut him off from everybody....

But then he made an instagram account and liked one of the pictures of us together. I have since made my instagram private - he has NEVER had social media as long as we were together and there's no doubt he is doing that to keep tabs. He reached out to an old friend of mine that he is friendly with and asked him to hang out - but this is my friend who I have known since high school and he's never been the type to reach out before that. Part of our issues were that he had no friends of his own and I had to run his social life for him.

Anyway this is all becoming a lot for me and I am in a bind on what to do. I feel bad for hurting him but I also know that he needs to learn how to talk to the people that he has in his life and lean on them and learn to do things for himself. I think he was very codependent on me to take care of like his every basic need and now he's having to do his own shit and feeling the fallout of that. I was certainly emotionally codependent on him but always maintained an active social life separate from him - another issue we had.

Basically Thanksgiving is going to be really rough but I am going to make him drive himself there and am going to talk with him after and tell him that he has to cool it. Part of everything was that I felt so fucking smothered - and while I still feel free I am bogged down by the weight of many things we have to untie from our joint life and it's hard.

 

For what it's worth, when I went though a tough breakup that was the other person's choice, I wish they would've cut me off completely. When there's any sort of gray area, the person who was on the receiving end will almost always tend to think there's still a chance as long as there is still contact. I know it's hard to just cut the cord, but I think it's almost always necessary. Especially at first @K0ta