(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 157

you are very lovable

 

You can also start to love someone before you're even dating, if you happen to already be good friends or whatever. Part of why I think imposing an arbitrary quota of elapsed time before one says it is lame and unnecessary.

 

So after the first date if someone feels it?

If I dated a guy for two months and he told me he loved me (because he "felt" it) I'd more than likely ghost him. It would scare me. "Love" is a strong word and shouldn't be thrown around like it's no big deal. Especially for me who is emotionally and mentally fucked up. I watch too much TV and it also would worry me than he may be abusive.

It's all good. I hate mobile sometimes, always seem to fuck up my posts.

 

I don't understand that at all. You're assuming a lot of things that are really, really out there.

 

That's why I say it may depend on the people. Two years to be safe to say it to someone you hardly knew when you first started dating (imo), but if you were best friends for years beforehand, I understand how two months can be reasonable.

 

I just don't agree at all that it takes years to love someone. That's taking a pretty narrow view of it IMO

 

Awww

Everyone I've been with has been super, idk the word, intense when it comes to it whereas I'm super laid back about it. I've never really been able to have just casual dating, it always zooms in haha.

 

Misread that you wrote "to love someone", when I was referring to saying it to someone since thats what the talk is about. No it does not take two fucking years to fall in love. If you're dating someone and your feelings aren't getting stronger after a few months, its time to end the relationship because more than likely its not going anywhere. People can fall in love any time I suppose. But I think to SAY it, two years is an appropriate length of time if you hadn't known then beforehand. It would still scare me tho if someone told me they loved me lets say a month in to dating if I hardly knew them. If ya know what I mean.

 

Agree to disagree I guess. I think it's okay to say it whenever you feel it's right, and I suppose when you feel comfortable saying it to your partner. Though, if I were ready to say it after a few months and felt I couldn't until two years for fear of my partner freaking out, I don't think that'd be a very honest and open relationship to begin with.

 

I'm turning 25 in two weeks and I forgot how stressful birthdays are in a relationship. I hate asking for things and I don't like having to do things for my birthday but it seems the boy is the opposite.

 

Hell no. I'm dipping out if you wait two years to tell me you love me.

 

Thats why I made the "after the first date" joke, because that just depends on the people imo, like you described- if you felt like saying it after a few months. Hell if I went on a date with a guy I hardly knew and he told me he loved me at the end of it, he probably wouldn't hear from me. It would overwhelm me and I wouldn't know how to respond. It would probably even overwhelm me and I wouldn't know how to respond if a guy told me that after a few months. I don't think I'm capable of being loved, and I hadn't had the best luck with guys so I'll think its just some mindgame he's playing with me.

 

Well, I think the key is just to have trust in the other person and in the relationship regardless of who says it when. Which I realize is difficult, but it's also vitally important.

 

"Love" doesn't even exist; just say what you want, when you want. We're all gonna die any way. Commit some crimes. Live it up.

 

There's no true love under capitalism

 

You don't even get dinner for your birthday? I don't do much but I'd be upset if no one acknowledged it, and for my family that means I pick dinner

 

Oh I pick dinner for with my family. But friends I usually just have a blow out drinking night.

 

No ethical love, at least

 

I'm 25, we got together when I was 19. I hope it gets better. I really can't take this.

 

correct.

it was said at (chronologically): six weeks, one year, one month, two months, nine months.

all were ridiculous (especially the six weeks, one month and two months) because i knew that she barely knew me. she probably knew me at about a 15% level, max, so there was no way she could say such a thing and have any meaning behind it because she didn't know who she was saying it to.

i understand that most go through a "puppy love" phase where you spend as much time as possible together and spill the beans about life stories as if you only have a week left to live which may make the couple feel they know each other better and nothing can seem greater or whatever, but i don't partake in that opening phase of relationships so anything under two years is absurd to me (again, not to think, but to say to the partner).

 

How do you just not partake in the honeymoon phase of a relationship lol I didn't think it was optional

 

I think I skip out on the honeymoon phase cause I'm anxious and nervous and weird the first bit and I prefer the "I know u" comfortable stage. I'm a mess during the honeymoon phase

 

Yeah like... wtf?

 

My honeymoon phase

 

Mine is mostly sweat. I'm always terrified I'll fuck it up by not being open enough or being too careless and stuff