The A1chemy Index Vol. 5: Dan should not have the ability to change this thread title • Page 763

Sadly, this is super realistic, given everything I know.

 

spill that tea sis

 

I'd never put him fully on blast. But I will say that he calls the milf's co-worker "nosy" despite literally listening in to every conversation at work ("because they talk so loud I can hear everything").

Also apparently the nosy co-worker was telling the milf to take a watermelon to Kroger to show she's single or something. And now I'm very depressed if that's a legit real thing.

 

what

 

i dont understand

 

what

 

lmao

 

oh no is fruit the new crystals

 

i'm confused but okay

 

Yo these birds need to shut up

 

I don't know either. He said she was saying single people go to the parking lot on Thursday's with a watermelon to make a match.

Maybe it's an Ohio thing.

I'm only relaying what he literally told me.

 

????

 

do they bring it to the supermarket lol

 

this sounds like more sanch fanfic tbh

 

Yup (though I bet you could just buy one there if you don't happen to have a FUCKING WATERMELON just lying around to proclaim your singleness). Apparently it's a specific Cincinnati Kroger that this nonsense goes on at.

 

If you have had a vasectomy do you have to bring a seedless watermelon

 

I lived in Ohio for 23 years and never heard of this. @bachna84 did you meet your wife with the assistance of watermelons?

 

watermelon has carbs Derek

 

Birds are assholes.

 

Single's Night at Kroger

I’ll be damned

 

Salmonella outbreak in melon sold at Kroger, Walmart hits Ohio hardest

RIP dirty

 

@Dirty Sanchez r u ok?

 

i met her because we went to the same high school

i don't think that watermelons were involved, but there's really no way to know for sure