Mental Health Thread • Page 263

Oh wait.. I can just look up the date I filled it and do some math to see how many I have taken vs should've taken lol. Yay math

 

cool that she's being so open about it

 

Blue Cross approved my surgery but only 3 of the 5 days of the hospital stay lol. Says 5 days isn't WPATH guidelines or something

I know my surgeons will take care of this, either through appeal now or medical necessity later, because there's no way they'll be letting me out earlier than 5 days. They have like a set plan of what they want you to do each day. Like day 2 you try to move to the chair next to the bed. Day 3 is literally walking a couple minutes lolol

 

In my depression, I honestly have started to look forward to dying. I don’t want to die today or tomorrow, but the thought this all will all end someday is sort of comforting. My fear is reincarnation, that we come back as another life form and maybe this existence is perpetual. Not sure how healthy this way of thinking is but it’s honest.

 

It really sucks when you’re upset and just want to call someone to come over bc you don’t want to be alone but then you remember you have literally no one you can call. I just really want some friends.

 

Things are getting worse again.

 

I don't mean this to sound compliment fishing, but sometimes I wonder what it's like to be talented at something. Like standout, one of the best in ur field at something. I mean I know talent doesn't equate to happiness but it'd be cool to be good at something that isn't like an extensive knowledge of Britney Spears trivia

 

Yeah I know what you mean. Especially lately, I reflect a lot on how I'm not particularly good at anything. Like I'm not talented or charismatic or articulate or accomplished. Doesn't feel good!

 

Growth mindset wants me to say that we're not good at anything... Yet! We can become good at things! But I feel like I don't commit or follow thru on anything to get good. Like I want to but I lack persistence and always give up

 

maybe we can pool our Britney knowledge into a business venture
no we can't

I feel the same way and get jealous at talented people, especially if they're also hot fuck you

 

I didn’t know you hated me, Ian

 

Also I've been thinking about having my daughter see a child psychologist or something. She's showing a lot of disinterest lately, she's increasingly shy and refuses to try and make friends in our new neighborhood, she has trouble sleeping every night.

If I do that it probably means I can't see my psych, no way I can pay for two of them

 

Let's start a podcast and then do live shows and get invited to events and become rich

My credentials: I know nothing about podcasts. Or technology. Or anything.

 

Also today I expected to feel a certain way if I got my desired outcome, but I got my desired outcome and feel terrible. Idk why. Maybe cause despite the good outcome I don't think I did my best? Or maybe cause my desired outcome still sucks idk. I am having trouble sleeping and focusing as a result. Lately I can successfully redirect my brain for the moment by watching Frasier lol, but it's not dealing with whatever the underlying issue is so it's not fixing anything. Bummed I don't have a therapy appt this Friday like I usually do. I have to wait until next Friday and sometimes with the passing of some time I bury it and downplay it and don't rly discuss it like I should

 

I am so tired.

 

Been doing poorly mentally, so I'm going to try and get out of my rut by actually going into the city this weekend. There's some cherry blossoms festival and an artist I like will there, which is cool. Now to actually force myself to go out there.

 

Omg this week just sucks. I've gotten off work late every day and will tomorrow and Monday as well. Nature of the work has been depressing. There have been a lot of tears in the office and it's been tough to be around. I've become so unmotivated again and didn't take my meds last night but I will today, and my lack of motivation has caused me to leave food out and have it get wasted and then I feel guilty and messy. My bff who I was concerned about who got pregnant decided to terminate and I know it wasn't an easy decision and I wish I could do more to be a support. I looked into getting my masters degree and spoke to an advisor but the cost and field hours seems so impossible and daunting. Idk. Just lots of draining things. Even pop culture hasn't been a good escape cause my feeds are all about Britney mental health conspiracies. Hopefully this weekend can have a new start and feel better for next week.

 

Quitting drinking again has helped but I still feel down

 

@DarkHotline you feel down now but this feeling is not permanent, especially since you’re actively taking steps to improve by quitting drinking
you are strong and capable and so deserving of happiness

 

I'm sure you'll do great

 

All of that sounds nice, I hope you have a good weekend fam

 

Quitting drinking isn't easy fam you should be proud of that

 

I'm kind of in the same boat, it's scary but I hope it all works out for you!

 

Thanks!