‘Ryan Adams Dangled Success. Women Say They Paid a Price.’ • Page 3

No one ever in history has attempted to argue that all men are monsters.

It is just not a thing.

Likewise, no one is ever saying that all white people are racist when they respond to an incident with “white people suck” or whatever.

If you find yourself under the mistake impression that someone is making such an argument, stop and ask yourself why you are actively ignoring the good faith interpretation of their words in favor of the bad faith interpretation.

 

No it’s not

 

I don’t know how you don’t understand that the phrase doesn’t literally mean “every man.” The point is that there are enough of them out there that it’s such a widespread issue. Who are you defending? Yourself? You don’t need to unless you’re one of them. It’s not personal and it’s not about you.

 

You can see where there is confusion though.

I guess I’m grossed out and pissed off to hear Ryan Adams did this stuff and I think he should bare the blame for his actions.

If I didn’t communicate that clearly, then my bad.

 

He said “WHY IS EVERY MAN A PIECE OF SHIT?”. So to me, I took his words as is instead of attaching my own meaning to them. If he said why are so many men, I would have said nothing, because I do agree the frequency of these acts is disturbing.

I am not sure if you are parent, but it changes your perspective. If people hear people talk this way it perpetuates this behaviour onto the next generation. That’s why a broad sweeping statements like that bother me about any group.

I used to say “The Philidelphia Flyers are a dirty hockey team”. I heard my son saying it once to his friend, and I thought, those are my words and that suited a specific generation of players I watched. I told him, yeah, they have one or two guys like that, but they are mostly fine so stop saying that.

I can’t imagine what itd be like on larger scale more important issues than just a hockey team.

That was my point to his comment. Nothing more or less.

 

Now that we’ve established some men aren’t bad could we maybe focus on the entire point instead of derailing the thread to make sure y’all feel secure? Would that be chill?

 

It's okay to lurk. It's okay to not post your opinion on a controversial subject. Just read it. Just think about it awhile. It's okay to not be part of the conversation.

 

Fuck this guy

 

Second time in a week with the same person

Adams is trash. This article is so gross and I feel so awful for all he’s caused to these women. Ugh.

 

This is really fucked up because I was just doing further research on Phoebe Bridgers today and found out that she was actually seeing him during that time he recorded her Killer 7" or around it. I was like hardcore digging in. I was thinking it seemed pretty predatory based on what I found. I guess it wasn't the only time. Rough stuff.

 

Zero people in this thread are supporting Ryan Adams.

You are mad at me for not naming Emma as a Thrice guest vocalists (because honestly saying guest vocalist covered her and the fans on Dark) and saying not all men are pieces of shit, focus on Adams.

I feel as though there are worse battles to be having with people on the internet.

 

You gotta stop posting, this goes away as soon as you stop harping on it. Take a breath and log off for a bit.

 

Seriously, if anyone is thinking about having children, please don't unless you plan to raise your boys to be men...not fucking cowards in a sick rape culture. Fuck this, fuck all of it. This is not the scene I grew up in and fell in love with.

 

Reposting from the accountability thread, this was my initial reaction but I've read a lot more now and its insane how much damage one abusive man can cause to so many careers out of pure malice and ego.


Abusive men are a rampant problem in the industry and barely if ever held accountable still.

This is some deeply fucked up shit backed up by other accounts of generally shady behavior from a ton of other musicians.

And in this scenario, where the evidence is clear and many voices are backing each other up, in regards to a known problem that is very commonplace, the first reaction of so many is to disbelieve, minimize, distort, ignore, or cover up the reality of the situation.

The truth will never come out as long as there are so many people involved actively working to bury it back up again.

and for what?

what the fuck are we gaining by continuing to empower abusive people that exploit talented artists and destroy careers to fulfill some sick power fantasy?

So many lives have been destroyed that we'll never hear about, because anyone coming forward is shouted down as a liar and a fake or even just not important, to continue living in the delusion that nothing is wrong and there's no problem to fix.

If your first instinct is to defend these abusers you're the reason we keep having so many fucking abusers.

 

Damn I'm really thankful to the people in here doing work to educate people and to people posting their thoughts, reactions, and insights in thoughtful ways. But really, more than anything, I'm glad that we made sure that no one thought literally all men were bad. What a relief!

 

My son is 3 and my daughter is 2, and it absolutely weighs on my mind equally with both of them in regards to how we are raising them surrounding these types of issues.

 

This is so disappointing. These women deserve better.

Ryan Adams is a personal hero of mine and easily the most important person, to me, that’s been outed during the current #MeToo movement.

How do you guys deal with this stuff, as a fan? I read some posts saying they’re just done with him completely. But, to be completely honest (and maybe my feelings will change after I’ve processed this more), I don’t see it as a completely black and white thing. This guys music has truly helped me, from issues like depression to relationship ups and downs, and more. I’ve seen him live a handful of times and they are high on my list of concert memories. To just throw all of that away doesn’t seem... likely?

I don’t know.

 

Amen man. Just being cognizant of it, I'm sure you are doing a much better job than most. Much love to you and your family.

 

Crazy how people just suck so much. Be pretty cool if that stopped

 

We have girl/boy twins who are approaching 3 and this shit literally gives me nightmares.

 

I feel so heartbroken for the girls who have been so silenced and discouraged by him. I hope they feel empowered to give the world their art one day, but if not I get it too. So discouraging.

 

Here come those familiar defeated feelings again.

Nothing compared to what these women have had to go through. Not even on the same continent.

Ugh.

 

As someone who went through this with a very important band to this forum, your relationship with the music changes. It's up to you to decide what to do with the music and how you want to interact with it from here on out. No one can make that decision for you.

The memories however will never change. Do not think there is something wrong with you for finding joy in those moments. They're yours.

If you're ever feeling really confused about all of this, there's always people on here you can talk to. This community helped me deal with a lot of conflicting feelings surrounding a very similar matter and I'm forever thankful for that.

 

Just to clarify earlier remarks: Definition of HYPERBOLE

 

Try being a woman walking to your car alone at night feeling safe because not all men are bad