(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 46

oh man, please elaborate. Were you just tired and lacking conversation? Or were you worse?

 

Yeah, pretty much this. I apparently wanted to meet at the art museum and I was worried I was gonna hurl on something the entire time. I was super tired, my head hurt really bad, and I tried to talk as little as possible. She was really smart, liked similar music, similar political/religious beliefs, is going to medical school, but she also had the most monotonous voice ever, it was like Bill Stein. She still ended up asking if I wanted to grab lunch but I declined.

 

@dylan did you decline because you didn't like her or cause you were feeling miserable? Sounded like she was understanding of your hangover. And her monotone voice could just be here giving out what shes receiving. It's like if you start whispering to someone they'll whisper back for some odd reason.

 

I didn't feel well, I don't think I could stomach anything if I tried, and I had an hour drive ahead of me to go dog sit for my parents over the weekend. It could be that, I don't know. She starts her summer rotation this week in western Kansas and will be there for the next 6 weeks so I highly doubt we ever talk/text again. Not a big deal, just an awkward "date" that was my fault.

 

Also, this

 

A little while back, I had posted about suddenly being suspicious of my wife for the first time and looking at her phone. Today we had a long open honest talk. She did cheat. One time. With the ex. 2 months ago. And now we are splitting.
Wish there was a happy ending. There isn't. I'm crushed.

 

Very sorry to hear that, man.

 

Holy shit, so sorry. My fiancé cheated on me with the guy who had been my best friend since 2nd grade about 2 years ago. I know how hurt and angry and raw you're probably feeling. If you need someone to vent to ever, let me know if I can ever help.

 

She didn't even say she was sorry. She says she feels nothing. Not a single drop of emotion at all. Then went back to watching tv with our little boy like nothing happened at all. Like we just discussed the weather.

 

Damn man, ive never even met you but this broke my heart. I'm gutted this happened to you. I can't really say anything other than that because people were upset when I said couples shouldn't have anything to hide from each other. Damn. I'm angry at her for you.

 

It's probably not what you want to hear right now but call a divorce lawyer tomorrow. You don't want her to suddenly move out with your son before you do anything about it... Speaking from experience.

 

Wow, I'm sorry dude. That's a real bitch move on her part.

 

I'm so sorry. I don't know you, but I know no one deserves that kind of treatment. She sounds very selfish, and you don't need that kind of negativity in your life. You deserve someone who will love you the same!

 

Is it Bill Stein, or Ben Stein?

 

Holy shit man, that is the worst. Sorry to hear that.

 

I'm sorry to ramble on about my problems. Sometimes venting to strangers helps. I hope.
Her and me had been trying for a baby forever. She has endometriosis and we tried infertility treatments for months and months. It didn't work. It hurt us both. Sex became a chore. It was a reproductive process that wasn't producing results. It lost all its joy. She grew to hate it. She says she slept with her ex to see if she could even enjoy sex normally again. It was one time, and she hated it. She chose him because he was safe and familiar and there were no emotions involved. It was just sex. Last night she broke down and apologized and said she will always love me completely but we are too broken right now to fix. So that's that. I'm done rambling. For now.

 

@Old Fuck that's unfortunate. I don't think anyone can really tell you what to do from here, it's all just going to be opinion based. For instance, while I get where she's coming from, cheating is still cheating. Heck, you guys could have talked about how joyless sex had become and then together agreed upon the next step. But instead she took it upon herself to cheat. Some could say once a cheat, always a cheat. I don't know about that, but what I do know is once respect is lost it's nearly impossible to regain.

 

Damn, I'm so sorry man. Sounds like an extremely tough situation. At least she finally showed some sort of emotions about it. @Old Fuck

 

Haha, damn, yeah, Ben Stein.

Meh, I lived. It happened right before graduation and I moved. So, on the one hand, it's nice never having to see them or know I have the potential to run into them somewhere. On the other, I have no friends other than co-workers who are all middle-aged or older, or social avenues to meet either friends or potential partners other than tinder/okcupid right now. I need to go join some running club or something.

I don't even know what to say, I'm sorry, that is just a shitty situation overall that all I can do is try and empathize with you. Have you guys talked, or have you started planning, your next steps forward or what you want out of the situation?

 

She's going away to Florida for two weeks on vacation. She leaves in a week. We're just taking this time to clear our heads and give each other the space to process it all. We'll see where we are mentally when she gets back.

 

My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me and immediately started dating my best friend last year, so I can sort of relate. It was a real confidence ruiner, haha. If she was a fiancé, that would've only made it worse.

 

That is awful. Was it like, within a week or so? That sounds kind of suspicious. but, maybe I'm just paranoid now from my experience haha

 

I'm not exactly sure, but I got the text from my friend within a month. So it was definitely within a month, but probably way sooner. It sounds suspicious, but I don't know if she could've cheated because we lived together, so we we're constantly with each other. And when I wasn't with her, I was usually with him.

 

I hope things work out. I empathize with you both. Sometimes pain and trauma causes people to do things they would not have considered. Knowing that doesn't change the pain, but it does provide space for context and understanding for both of your feelings.

 

Thank you to everyone for listening.