Accountability in Music • Page 175

Jesus Christ. Yeah fuck that.

 

Ryan Adams is just known to be a dick, so it’s not out of the ordinary, but I think it’s worth noting that he didn’t initiate the conversation and that Perez Hilton unnecessarily tagged him on Twitter to stir drama when it’s still clearly a personal topic for him. I don’t find it “controlling”, if anything I just find it sad that he had a public, extreme mental breakdown on Twitter

 

yeah she's been very careful not to get too into detail and be the better person and he's just throwing her under the bus,admittedly it's also hard for me to be objective because I would protect Mandy Moore with my life

 

There’s a way to convey your hurt and pain without dragging someone through the mud. While he might have been tagged in the post, Perez doesn’t dictate Ryan’s response. It’s not a reach to just say “hey, I’m still hurt and I’m not over it, but I’m glad she’s in a good place” and then let your songs do the talking.

 

I just have no patience for men like this when their actions are at the expense of a woman. Like I hope he gets the help he needs just like I hope anyone struggling does, but I'm not gonna feel bad for him in this specific scenario. Plenty of people go thru mental breakdowns and hard times without dragging women in the process.

And given how his fans on Twitter are coddling him so much and acting like Mandy abandoned him in his time of need or something like I have even less patience for that. Like negative patience. Women always expected to stick around and save men at the expense of their own well-being and happiness smh

 

Yeah. Having a public breakdown is one thing... but I'll never be okay with the fact that for so many men, having public breakdowns always seems to be received generally with "it doesn't matter who they hurt because they're going through something".

That luxury isn't afforded universally, nor should it be. We're still accountable to the people we lash out at and the people we harm.

 

just look at the way women are treated when they have public breakdowns vs how men are treated. It’s ridiculous

 

Amanda Bynes never hurt anyone and she may never be able to work again

Ryan was at best emotionally unavailable and rumor has it was cheating and was admittedly a shitty husband but he wants to deny Mandy any moment of happiness

 

I mean, if you ask my abuser why we didn't work out, it's because I "didn't make him happy". Not, "she left me because I tortured her until she was a mirror of what I was doing to her and that wasn't fun anymore".

So, Ryan's behavior feels pretty familiar and par for the course. I'm not gonna speculate whether he was abusive, but the behavior pattern is a common on. The fact that "I wasn't happy because her spirit was dying and she eventually started to crack" isn't NEARLY as fun to say as "she wasn't enough, everybody point and laugh". At any rate, it's why I've got no patience for it. Let your ex live, dude.

 

this reminds me of ariana grande's experience with mac. being in a toxic relationship is fucking tough

 

re: Ryan Adams

Phoebe Bridgers said he demanded to see a picture of her before he would work with her.

 

Damn. I can’t listen to him anymore.

 

What a fucking asshole. She’s better of without him.

 

Not quite

Phoebe Bridgers interview: ‘Ryan Adams and I got together on his 40th birthday. I’d just turned 20’

 

Phoebe also really didn't like that article being published with that headline fwiw

 

Yeesh. I can understand why.

I've never been impressed by Ryan Adams, and his reputation even back in the early-mid 2000s was bad. I get that he's sorta good looking (he was, at one point in my estimation), but I still can't believe he landed Mandy Moore. When I heard he was producing Jenny Lewis' new album, I was so hoping it would be a one time thing and they wouldn't date, or worse duet or something. I've never been into his music and never thought he was much of a singer either, and the Taylor Swift thing just seemed gimmicky. Once Tom Scharpling did a pretty funny (if unfair) take down of his entire discography back in 2003 or so, and I do think he's a pretty boy who lucked into a career by aping his musical inspirations.

 

Wtf. Is Ryan known for trying to sleep with young musicians that he helps out? In this case it seems like Phoebe was comfortable but that can definitely lead to some murky water.

 

Uncomfortable or not, that headline at least implies that she know it was strange. eeeek

 

thread

 

Wow. I didn't even realize that happened.

(The essay, for anyone interested (TW: sexual assault): My Thoughts On This Whole Danny Brown Oral Sex Thing)

 

She's defending herself in a reddit thread that blew up. Surprise, people are still being awful towards her five years later. The internet was a mistake.

 

yeah, are you talking about the /r/hhh thread? commenters saying stupid shit like 'it was your crappy music that ruined your career'. suburban 17 year old white kids disappointing once again

 

Yes that one. So full of hate and 4chan-y edginess. Then they'll be the first to act surprised by the lack of popular female rappers. For a place supposed to promote and show love for the genre, they sure as hell seem proud of the toxic misogyny they perpetuate.

 

That's so shit that Danny brown kinda abandoned her through all this. Like I get that he has his own career to watch and some people I know who know him personally say he's good people but I remember she was part of his crew for a while and after that one tour she did with him she kinda dropped way off which was disappointing, since she's one of the most talented people doing what she does.