Say Anything - Oliver Appropriate (January 25, 2019) Album • Page 38

like some weird whataboutism??

 

I'm expecting his next "rant " to name and shame abusers now.

 

max “i have never ever been a misogynist” bemis

 

if my father cried in front of me every day i'd be...concerned

 

Thinking about the amount of rants he's going to put out until the album's release increases my anxiety.

 

I really don't' think he can control/help it. Like I know what you mean, but I think he's that fragile emotionally. I have a friend with bipolar disorder and sometimes I'd make her laugh so hardthat she'd go completely sad in almost an instant and start bawling. It was before she was diagnosed and I didn't know what to make of it. I'm not sure if this is the same thing, but what do you do when you can't handle your emotions?

 

I love Max and his music means the world to me - but I really hope he's okay.

 

you go in the other damn room so your children don't see you freak out every single day

and this is coming from someone who has the most emotionally available dad on the planet. father birdperson loves to talk about feelings and freely cries etc

 

That's not always possible when it's uncontrollable. You can't shield them from it all the time is what I'm guessing he's saying.

 

If you can't control crying on a daily basis and break out in tears on the reg out of no where, it's time to seek some really serious help. I totally agree with @BirdPerson . Sure it's fine to show emotion to your young children, but everyday? No, not healthy.

 

yeah i'm gonna disagree. go 10 feet to the bathroom. takes 5 seconds

 

kids pick up on that stuff, too

 

I think the problem is sending mixed messages. "It's okay to be emotional in front of your children" as being a healthy statement is fine. "It's okay to cry constantly in front of my children" as being a statement about how you're a healthy individual and you've got your mental illness covered and this is how it's like dealing with someone with mental illness isn't okay because yes, as someone with severe depression and anxiety I can tell you that sometimes you can't handle things and you do need to cry or something, but you always work toward not letting your illness control you. You take medications, or go to therapy or meditation or all three, but you don't tell people "this is what mental illness is and this is the healthy way to handle it" when it isn't. It sends the wrong message to your fans and your children. It's giving them more reason to be concerned and giving people a tainted view of mental health as if that's the best you can expect from someone. I don't know if I explained it well, but maybe someone can pick up the pieces and get my message.

That being said, Max has clearly struggled with his illness for a long time and I admire that he's so open about it. He's worked at it I'm sure, but it's something that always needs to be worked at and approached from multiple angles. It's a constant struggle and I just wish to see him in a healthier place in the future. He doesn't need to be saying "well, at least I'm not as shitty as those guys," because that doesn't do anything for anyone.

 

He's not a healthy guy and I think he's aware. I don't think there are a lot of options when you have bipolar disorder. Either you have drugs that work, or you struggle the best you can. I have no clue what Max's level of stability is, but I do know that crying is common with people with bd and can happen for no reason. Should they shield that part of themselves from their children? You probably try to, but when you live with them, they're probably aware that their father has a disorder. But then again, I have no clue what goes on in their home and what constitutes healthy or not healthy with how they handle it. I don't know if Max has given up on what worked before or that he's slowly getting worse for no real reason. There's just a lot we don't know. So it's hard to just say "go get help".

 

I think the issue here is that, well, didn't the original statement basically say "It was bad these past few months but now I'm 100% okay and completely healthy"? And the thing is, Max clearly needs therapy, and I don't mean to be condescending here, the fact he's ranting like that he does just tells me he wants and needs a neutral party to unload what's on his mind. Except with therapy he'd get useful advice to organise his life and start to manage his bipolar the best he ca,.

Yes, bipolar is extremely hard to manage, but there are clearly no steps or structures being built up to support him and help him in his daily life, hence the constant crying, the weekly public meltdowns, the unmanageable kickstarter pipe dreams etc. No one is there to talk him up or down, clearly, no one is there to give him objective support and guide him. Otherwise he wouldn't be on social media posting one incoherent twitlonger after another.

The issue here is I think yes he clearly knows he has bipolar but very strangely he doesn't seem aware there are things that could help him manage it.

 

I don't find this that surprising--there are a lot of reasons why people with mental illness don't pursue treatment even if they know it's available. It's an extremely complicated thing, and our societal stigma doesn't make the acceptance of mental health disorders and receiving treatment easy.

Max is also in a tough position of having a platform, being worshipped by a cult fan base, and considered washed-up by others--that's hard enough for the healthiest people to psychologically handle. Having this kind of outlet for what appears to be a manic episode is probably not helping the issue.

He could clearly benefit from treatment, but it's not fair to judge him for forgoing it or not knowing how to proceed.

 

so to be sure, are people really trying to say he's doing a pedophile ring with his wife?

 

I..... WHAT

 

"The internet actually accused me and my wife of being part of a pedophile ring. Can you fucking imagine?"
is what he said...

 

I'm not judging him for not knowing how to proceed at all, I'm absolutely aware access to mental health services are abysmal, just lamenting that this situation is happening at all. I'm just saying that pretending that what he's experiencing is healthy or cannot be managed at all is helping no one and especially not him. I hope the people around him realise that and get him the help he needs.

And also none of this absolves him from all the red flags he's raising, either.

 

This got lost in that jungle of words. No idea if that's true, I've not heard of it.

 

Can we even say for sure he's not in therapy? I mean how would we even know that? Entering therapy isn't going to automatically make him better and stop ranting on twitter.

 

Agreed. I've been in and out of therapy my whole life and look at me. I'm a mess.

 

I think there was some like tweet a few years back about Sherri’s Instagram or something, I forgot about it until now but it wasn’t recent

 

In general a lot of alt rock music has the idea that at the end of the day writing the perfect song will cure your emotional distress, even with diagnoses and more education, it’s a big part of the culture to work through it in ur own but it’s not toxic bc were subverting it with art! But it’s still not enough. While creating is a good coping skill it’s not a solution and that can be something that max and many others still struggle with