Mental Health Thread • Page 202

thanks man. and you're right about that, the president of the company is all about 'results or gtfo' so i know if i wasn't working out i'd be gone. and my boss said she likes my work...it's just that i cannot financially sustain this situation past a couple more months. I need a full time job or a much better paying part time job, and this place is not going to be able to give me that.

 

Thanks so much. I know I'm getting in my head and exacerbating my negative feelings, but it's a struggle just to talk to people because of how I'm feeling about myself

 

it's weird though. this is a "large" company - like 200 employees right now - but there's still a lot of "family owned and operated" nonsense going on. friends of people getting upper level jobs, etc. i should take that for the red flag that it is...my first two real jobs were for small family owned/operated companies and the nepotism was off the charts, and would just KILL morale

 

I feel that. Can you do the two job grind? That a possibility?

I hear you, man. The last 6-8 weeks I had been right with you. when I planned this weekend getaway I’m on I had a very intense dream that I died while on it and I woke up and shrugged and thought that would be an okay outcome. Brains are fucked up pieces of meat that just make us feel great or feel terrible. Gotta fight the wiring.

That sucks. But this isn’t a forever job. Get that experience while you can and turn that into a job in the industry. Easier said than done I know. Feels like most of life is just extreme luck. But the only piece of shitty Facebook type stay posi quotes I believe in is preparation+opportunity=luck. You’re getting prepared, so you just have to be ready to take that opportunity when it comes.

 

if i really want to stay with this place, i could take a job in the retail part of the dispensary. as much as i hate talking to people (it's very draining for an introvert), i actually LIKE talking to people about cannabis and wellness and stuff like that...i just don't know. tonight i'm going to sit here and smoke a couple bowls and watch the rest of this yankee game. baseball usually helps ha

related, do you ever go into the MLB thread? we kinda use it as a chat but it's fun over there

 

I was incredibly shy until I took a job that mixed bartending with retail (basically sold packaged beer and had a beer bar in the same section) and that broke me out of my shell because I loved talking beer with people. Then got a bartending job at the brewery I work for now and transitioned into full time sales. Some weeks is very draining and on the weekends I don't want to leave my bedroom. But by and large, I've grown used to talking to people and it's not as draining as it used to be. I've gotten comfortable with talking to strangers and initiating conversations. Maybe that would not happen for you, but I know that it's made a significant improvement in my life, forcing me to face that introversion.

Oh man, on AP i lived in the MLB thread for years. I used to write about baseball (and other sports) a bit, but I just don't watch any games and I've fallen so far out of the loop these days that I wouldn't have much to contribute, unfortunately. But 2006-2010 I couldn't tell you how many thousands of posts I had in the MLB thread on AP. I assume Drew Beringer posts in this MLB thread, too. If so, he can tell you the novels I used to write in there.

 

I'm having a really hard time. I'm also having a hard time recovering from the really intense polarizing mood swings

 

I hope it gets easier for you. If I can help in anyway, please let me or anyone else know. We're all behind you.

 

I really hate that I’m barely going to have time with my daughter this weekend, I hate that all my friends are going to be together for a thing and none of them invited me. I feel so alone.

 

Made it to my new apartment without issue.

Feeling super overwhelmed at the moment, like I usually do during changes. Need to learn where everything is, how to get to work, unpack important stuff, then hop on a flight early monday morning. Fucking stretched thin.

I'll adjust but for the moment I'm anxious and panicky. Doesn't help it's basically just me out here.

 

set up your room (bed) first! having a safe nest helps me heh

 

Yeah, need to finish doing that for sure. My bed is always where I go when I need to calm down. Thanks!

Sorry to hear you had a shitty talk with your boss. :( You definitely deserve more and you definitely are into this company.

 

I hope you enjoy the time that you do get with her! And sucks with your friends--did they think you wouldn't be able to make it?

 

idk what happened but i went from feeling fairly confident to regretting everything i've done in the past couple months and never want to go outside again. i thought i was doing ok and being myself and boom i'm self-conscious and feel ashamed to be me.

 

I'm quote on quote the "black sheep" of my family meaning I'm not the most financially successful, and was kind of a late bloomer with everything career wise. I recently had to move back to my Hometown of Wichita Is after being in STL for 10 years. It wasn't my choice to move back here, the mother of my child, had an affair and is now in love/married to this other man who lives here (this is both our hometown) so of course I wanted to be in my son's life and was forced to move back, I didn't have any say in the matter whatsoever. Now I'm back its been really hard to get a job, and me and my son had to move back with my mother, which I thought would be ok, but I forgot how my family is, everybody is doging on me just because I need some extra help while i get on my feet. Everything has been super hard on me lately, and I just don't know what to do, its been a challenge trying to stay stable, I have nobody here.

 

i feel like she broke some kind of law by just like...moving to another state with your kid. i don't think people can just do that if you both have custody

 

Well I mean its not like she just took my son and left without me, but still lol I had no say in the matter really.

 

I feel... good.

V good.

At least I think so...

My head is definitely in better space.

So better is good.

 

honestly i feel so unsettled. it's weird.

 

orientation for new job tomorrow. hoping this goes smoothly and i get back into the swing of things quickly and dont get so burnt out so quick again

 

feeling good for the first time in a long time is always a bit unsettling at first

 

Start my new job tomorrow. Super anxious, especially since I’m jumping straight in without much orientation and attending a conference.

 

I originally posted this in the "Vent your frustrations" thread but I feel like it might fit better here.

 

You sound like you have come really far tbh! You may already do it, but if not take a moment to pause and congratulate urself for that because it's amazing. I wish I had advice. My depression was at bay for years until the last few months where it's been loud and proud again, so I understand that frustration but it sounds like u know something isn't feeling right and you want to make some sort of change and sometimes that's the hardest part! I hope you can get something set up with a nurse practitioner and I wish u well!

 

Stopping and congratulating yourself when you've made progress is so deserved and necessary. I wish I did it more often. Most of the last 3 months have been largely bad (some bright spells, but also some of the worst spells i've been in in years), so when I've been in good places I find myself just feeling relieved for being "normal" which is total bullshit. Like, we all work hard in here to get where we want to be, we should remember to congratulate ourselves.