Mental Health Thread • Page 194

Oh wow. Where are you?

 

Rural middle of nowhere. We're known for having awful resources. The town I go for therapy is better than where I live, and then the town an hour from me is better than that, but still not like major city resources better. Nobody wants to have years of schooling and debt to work for less in the middle of nowhere soooo sux for us lol

 

how's your wife doing?

 

I hate having ocd and dont wish it on anyone

 

Sorry to hear. Some of the descriptions on this page like "just trying to get through each day" and "I don't really want to exist, even if I don't want to die" hit home for me. Been that way for a big chunk of my life, and I only expect fleeting breaks from it going forward. Honestly, I think this is more common than any of us tend to believe or realize. Not sure whether that helps anyone to hear, but at the very least, we shouldn't forget we're not alone (or even in some fringe 3% group) in feeling this way semi-regularly.

 

It's Greek Easter this weekend, which is one of the worst times of year for me. It's hosted at my house every goddamn year. It's stressful and frustrating. To add to that, my grandmother is staying at my house for a week. Whenever she's here, a bunch of other relatives come over EVERY NIGHT to see her. I know I'm not going to have much alone time and will only have it when I'm at uni and I haaaate that. And my grandmother doesn't like my dog, so he'll have to be in his bed or outside more often unless I don't take my eyes off him and stay with him 24/7! It's just such an overwhelming time of year where I can't catch a break. It's night one and I'm taking any alone time I can and trying not to cry!

 

It's the first night and my family already started having homophobic and racist conversations. Get me out of here lol. They are insufferable and I can't do anything to change the way they are and I can't stand up for what I believe in

 

i keep having really bad thoughts about my body and appearance and feel like i did in high school getting rejected by my crush. i am not enjoying the meds at all and just want to cry all day

 

I thought I got my first unemployment check but it was them saying there's an issue that needs to be investigated. Now I'm stressing out. I already get nervous filling stuff like that out in case I screw it up like every time I do my taxes I'm convinced the IRS is coming for me. Now I'm like SEE MY FEAR IS REAL. I guess worst case scenario I don't get it. At least I haven't gotten anything so I wouldn't have to pay anything back. But not getting anything would still be a sucky blow. Like can anything go right ever lately???

 

Me and my partner are breaking up and I'm a mess that is on a bender. I just wanna disappear somewhere

 

Need to celebrate the little victories too.

This morning I was hugging my wife goodbye before I went to work and we both just didn't want it to end. It was a really nice moment that made me feel really good and happy. I've been super depressed and caught up in so many distractions in my life recently, so it was nice to feel so incredible in that moment, as small as it may seem.

 

try not to stress about it. apparently i filled out my unemployment forms totally wrong, but they called me up and we got it all straightened out

 

I wish they would call but I doubt I'll get hold of anyone before the weekend. It was also just cryptic because they don't say what's wrong just that something needs to be investigated and they'll call me if they need to. Sucks because I had a massive bill just come out of my account so receiving the money on time wouldve been a big stress relief and now it's just a stressor. I just want like one thing to go smoothly ever.

 

i hear you. in my case i accidentally wrote that i was earning 1700 a week and really it's like 170 lol. the good news in my case was that then they deposited all the weeks i'd certified all at once.

 

I cleaned some of my room today. First time I've been motivated to do it in ages

 

i'm in a FB group and guys are listing their phalloplasty complications and it's when, not if, i get complications and it makes me want to blow my brains out trying to figure out how i'm gonna ever have the time and monetary leeway to basically not work for 4+ months

 

my ex officially is gone and possible tmi but I started my period so my emotions have been hell the past few days. I'm glad I have a therapy appt monday, it's the only thing I'm holding onto at this point.

 

sweet, gf getting pissy with me because i sent her a convo i had with a guy and was sarcastic about it, bc even strangers can tell i'm fucked right now and for the foreseeable future, how cool! so cool we haven't had sex in so long i don't remember the last time, and until i get a dick i literally cannot bring myself to participate in any type of sexual activity with another person. i just get sad and hollow because i'm missing parts i need. you'd think she'd want to help me figure out all this shit. she probably does i'm just pissed off at everything and everyone and this defective human suit
edit: she does want to help and wants me to get what i need woo emotions

 

Yesterday was the first day in a long time I went without my bi polar medication. I can’t afford my health insurance anymore, even though I’m on the super cheap plan. I have literally no income.

 

Is there a place nearby you can go if you don't have insurance? The place near me that I've been mentioning is for low income/no insurance people. It's a little time consuming and annoying to get into but if you qualify for their in-house pharmacy then prescriptions are only $1. Maybe there is a resource like that near you?

 

it sucks to think you walked out of something unscathed only to see the effects much later. i am with the most wonderful, supportive woman and so of course all my mind can do is worry about how i am going to go about ruining it or which day i'll wake up to find a switch has flipped and she wants nothing to do with me anymore.

 

I'm pretty damn lost atm. With the meds making me feel... different, going through a hard break-up, and having to move + find a new job in the next 5 weeks, I don't think I can finish the two classes I'm taking this semester. I don't want to drop out of school altogether--I'm just six classes away from graduating--but I've fallen pretty far behind in these two classes now. I'm seeing my therapist in a few hours and my psychologist on Thursday, so hopefully talking to them will help me sort things out.

 

Yeah, I'm going to therapy Wednesday. I wish it was sooner, but in the bigger picture, what is a few more days?

 

I feel this. Brains are fucked up pieces of meat, man. She knows you better than anyone on Chorus does and we all think you're fucking rad as hell, so she has a lot to like about you.

 

you're the best