Mental Health Thread • Page 17

I know how you feel. I know we don't know each other and I don't know if you saw it or not, but I am going through something similar and posted about it on the last page. If you ever want someone to talk to, please, feel free to private message me either here or at my email, [email protected]. I'd be happy to listen or offer advice if that's what you're looking for, and if there's somebody in this thread you're more comfortable with, I'm sure they wouldn't mind either.

 

I went the month of April (and a bit into May) with no caffeine. What a stupid idea. I don't know how people do it, but I probably would kill myself if I had to continue that torture. Caffeine is marvelous.

 

My 1 year anniversary of being episode free is coming up. Thanks to all of y'all for your support.

 

Just wanted to share something in case it can potentially help anyone else, not to force my beliefs on other people. I'll keep it short and simple, but you are welcome to ask any further questions.
I've dealt with depression and anxiety almost my entire life, the last few years it became unbearable and I was almost at the end of being able to deal with it any longer. About 3 months ago now I went to Peru to work with Ayahuasca and I currently feel as If I have beaten my depression. I'll add that I am not a drug user (although I don't consider Ayahuasca to be a drug) so I am not not someone glorifying recreational drug use. I don't think it is for everyone by any means, but it worked for me and it has worked for a lot of other people, if you feel you have tried everything else and nothing worked then maybe do a bit of research into and come to your own conclusions.

 

I have gained a network of people on Twitter who support people with mental illness. It's pretty cool.

 

Found this and I love it.

 

I want to be forgotten. I don't feel like I should be remembered.

 

I'm going to be putting my 18 year old cat down tonight and I'm not taking it well at all.

 

My cat who I loved so much passed away on thanksgiving a couple years ago. I feel your pain. I'm sorry to hear

 

I think I need to start meditation or yoga or something. My back and shoulders are wrecked. I don't know how to relax my body and chill. Its caused me to have a horrible back and I don't want it to get worse. I think my anxiety is always so high I cant will myself to relax. Sometimes when I try to sleep I take deep breaths to try and relax my shoulders but they're like permanently hiked up. Being uptight and having anxiety sucks

 

meditation is dope, esp if you can make time for the physical part of it

 

So, I'm on ambien. Have been for over a year. I hear it can do weird things to your sleeping habits, sometimes even causing sleep walking? Long story short, if you have reason to believe you might've unfairly lashed out against a family member/relative (when being polite would have sufficed) while sleeping (literally), do you call them up and apologize? Should you even bring it up? Are you even technically responsible for your actions in that case? The kicker is, I have no evidence it happened at all IRL - from the moment I woke I could only remember it happening in the context of the unsettling dream I was having. There were visuals I clearly remembered occurring at the time that make no sense in reality, but the spoken exchange itself felt very real.

It was ugly, I basically dreamed they woke me up and at some point I told them to fuck off, and even though I don't always get along with this person, it's something I'd never say while totally conscious given they also suffer from mental issues and personality disorders and responding politely was totally appropriate, not telling them to fuck off lol. If I knew it all occurred in a dream I would immediately forget about it, but what if it was an actual convo during a hypnagogic state? If I called them up and asked if we had an exchange of words sunday it might just result in a toxic conversation if they were convinced I was awake. And would you blame them lol?

Maybe I'm over thinking this, and it's all just a wacky story that will result in laughter later, I dunno. So bizarre.

 

I'm dreading this therapy appointment this morning.

 

So I am about 3/4 through my back packing trip in Europe and I decided to cut it early and change my flight to go back tomorrow. This past week I've become sick with a cold, fell back into my terrible depressive habits, and on top of that I'm stuck in 8 person hostels that I am so not comfortable with. This is basically my first ever vacation / trip and I feel like such a complete failure not being able to complete it . the people I'm surrounded by are killing me though, I can't have this in my life . Youth Hostel culture is god awful. Fuck. it's like if you don't wanna get blacked out drunk and go clubbing every night your this complete loser. Combine this with My friends friend who joined us spent a whole week telling me I dressed like shit and telling me to let her "fix me " cause I like nerdy things and listen to brand new because no girl would ever wanna date someone like that. Like FFS can people not accept others for who they are ? Why does everyone fucking suck? I have enough self confidence problems in my life to not want to be around toxic people like that. I can't wait to get home to my friends and family . I can't do this anymore. /rant

 

I've been diagnosed as bi-polar and/or scizoaffective and take lots of meds. They leave me in a zombie-like state where I feel like all of my emotional intelligence has been drained. It's either that or the manic tendencies start coming back if I don't take the medication. Sometimes I feel like my life/behavior is just going to continuously get worse/unsufferable for me and those around me and I start hoping I die soon in a gruesome or maybe heroic way (like if a guy was shooting at someone unjustly I would probably jump in front of them and take the bullet) so there is still something to say at my eulogy.

 

I can only try to help but I'm bipolar and don't ever skip meds. That is a bad idea. Although you're in a bad place right now, I promise you that things can get better. There are a few of us that you can PM if you ever need anything.

 

I'm also Bi-polar, I hate my meds, but I know that I'm much better off on them than off them.

 

I can't believe xojane thought this was ok to publish. TRIGGER WARNING.

 

xoJane essayist says she's not sorry for writing about her friend's death

TRIGGER

 

I wish I could put together some unique way to say it's disgusting but yeah no way around it, that's just flat out disgusting

 

That's appalling.

 

If I end up dying cause of mental illness and someone says some shit like that about me I will haunt them til the end of their days.

 

the worst part isn't even her disrespecting her passed friend, it's that she's influencing who knows how many mentally ill people who worry that people think this stuff about them and dont want to be a burden

 

Had an episode of severe anxiety today, the first major one since march. Seeing my therapist on Tuesday to see if i can't find the cause, but i think it had to do with switching around my medication schedule a bit.

 

6 Reasons Why People With Mental Illnesses Are Strong, Not Weak