sA1nts & sA1lors [Archived] • Page 873

Because they don’t want to grow up, like you

 

DID SOMEONE SAY BADGER

 

hahaha

 

this is an appropriate amount of "haha"s

 

Sorry the Cardinals released Tyrann Mathieu so I'm on Honey Badger watch

 

OH THANK YOU

 

Keep this in the nfl thread GEEK

 

badgers are fast, eh?

 

NO THE BADGER CONSUMES MY LIFE

 

it just received a snap from dylan and ran the other way

 

Just in case y'all don't hang out in the ama thread. This is @dylan Tinder profile I created for @Shrek

Very kind, subpar Missouri born, Texas/Colorado transplant looking for a halfway decent time before we all inevitably die from our slow rotting. I have a certain set of rules that I follow daily. These are not my rules, these are societies rules. Please do not swipe right past midnight (Colorado time) or before 8 AM(Colorado time) While I could turn the notifications off, I shouldn’t have to go out of my way to take a an extra step to conform to people who choose to not follow societies rules. I have a dog named Bear who I love like my own child. I will prefer Bear over you, and pay more attention to them, even though I don’t even like dogs myself. If this is not okay with you, swipe left. Showers are extremely important to me. If you don’t shower twice daily, you’re disgusting and full of germs. Please swipe left. If you are still reading this, it’s very important for you to know that swiping left is unkind, therefore if you know what’s good for you, swipe right.

P.S. Please include a picture of your shrubbery when you match with me, and message me. I will not reach out first, because I’m busy, and probably not that interested in you anyway.

 

I hardly know her

 

Pic of shrubbery sounds like an euphemism if you ask me

 

"I don't want no shrubs
A shrub from a girl will get a no from me"
-Dylan

 

What's embarrassing is how literal the word is used with @dylan

 

i find figurative speech to be superfluous

 

You're living your life in chains.

 

Asking from the get go is mad creepy @dylan

 

i open with asking about their ketchup on fries policy, shrubbery is the closer

 

MUSH
ROOM
MUSH
ROOM

 

I just almost choked on my McDonalds
>inb4 “on brand”

 

EAT AT BETTER PLACES ERIC GOD DAMNIT