Mental Health Thread • Page 183

I do have a somewhat flexible job like that but today we were short staffed and my boss idk I could tell she wanted me to cancel my appt but she decided to let me go and managed without me which was actually really nice cause I thought she wouldn't

 

She might not if she had known the reason!

Glad you were able to go. Hope it went well! :)

 

Thanks! I think it went okay. I didn't feel like any of my answers were stupid or anything, but I am worried I gave the impression that I want to work with kids more (because this job doesn't require a whole lot of working with kids) and I tried to correct her and was like nooo that's fine I'm done with shin kicking. So hopefully they came away thinking it was a good fit for me.

 

I guess the feeling of impending doom I've had lately wasn't for nothing. My dad lost it tonight. Got mad over one goddamn room in our big house that isn't clean, accused the "three women in the house" of being lazy when we do fucking everything (oh! And my mum and sister have jobs, I'm at uni, we look after our dog, and have LIVES). So he yelled at my mum earlier, ignored us for hours, then yelled some more during dinner and made her cry. I wish I could stand up for everyone but I fucking crumble and try not to shake and fall under the table. I'm relieved my sister isn't home at the moment, but she'll still come home to a tense house. I want to run away and get the fuck away from here so badly (I just need a job, lots of money, I have nowhere to stay without being a burden... Great). I'm tired of walking on eggshells, tired of how severe my anxiety has been because I'm afraid of my dad, I'm just tired! I didn't need this! I'm going through enough and struggling to get through day to day life, as it is!

 

I'm sorry Mary

 

I haven't posted anything in here in a long time. Things have been really dark and what do you even say?

on one hand, I'm finally going tomorrow to a mental health/crisis center place for people to get help without insurance. I'll more than likely get started on medication and regular visits.
On the other hand, my ex/roommate and I laid in bed this morning and seriously discussed the options for killing ourselves, and it seemed so real and attainable

 

i went from being stoked on trying medication to dreading it. My Bday is in a few weeks and the thought of being sober and socializing sounds like a nightmare. its bumming me out just thinking about it

 

the appointment thing went to shit and I'm back to wanting to kill myself

 

Oh no. I'm sorry to hear that! :( What went wrong? (if you feel comfortable explaining, which, if not, is fine.)

 

Seriously please talk to any family you have or close friends, make plans, spend time with them, let them know what's going on, and probably get away from your ex asap

 

I don't have insurance so I went to the crisis place here and everyone told me that it;s first come first serve and you have to wait a long time to get in the system but once you're in it it's easy so I was like ok. Well I spent like 4 hours there just for them to tell me my FIRST psychiatrist/therapist appts are at the end of MAY. I'm like lol...no.

I literally don't have any friends.

 

Wow, that is a ridiculous wait time just to meet with a therapist for a first appointment, especially if someone needs help right now. :/

Do you have family nearby that you're comfortable being around?

If you ever just want someone to rant to, I'm around and my inbox is always open. I may not be great with advice or anything, but I'm a good listener. Sometimes that's enough.

 

right? I guess there are ways to try and be seen sooner but theres no guarantee. So that really sucks. I posted about it on facebook and a few people came through with resources I didn't know were out there so I'm gonna explore my other options I think.

thanks. right now I kinda feel like venting is a burden to people so I'm trying not to do that as much.

 

Well that's cool. Glad others were able to provide resources!

Totally understand that feeling really well. It's why I tend to hold back in this thread when I'm not doing well. But either way, inbox is always open to you, to anyone.

 

i realized a while back, once i was finally properly medicated, that when i was at my worst place(s) mentally, i didn't actually want to die. i just wanted all the bad feelings to stop.

 

Here’s a link to a crowdsourced list of affordable counseling/therapy options by state. It really helped me when I finally started therapy. I hope it can be useful for you


AFFORDABLE THERAPY IN YOUR STATE

 

I really feel like most people don’t care about me

 

Why even care? I know I’m right

 

RT

 

thank you

 

My anxiety and depression have reared it's head again and it's affecting people around me and I just want to break down and cry right now

 

I'm sorry to hear that, Joe. just know that things will get better and that you have people who care about you. don't get too down on yourself, bud. remember: it's okay to not always be okay. you'll get through this because you are strong. don't beat yourself up over something you can't control

 

those may sound like platitudes but they're sincere and I believe them

you got this

 

I've been told a million times not to think of myself as a failure, that it's not true, and that the fact that Im asking for help to get better for the upteenth time is proof i am not a failure. But it's hard to convince myself of that when i'm failing a majority of my classes, and i've fallen into the vicious cycle of being scared, procrastinating, hiding from /avoiding my responsibilities, then waiting till it all piles up to start making positive changes after it is way too late. I don't want to be like this anymore, I hate who i've become and hate being comfortable with disappointing myself and others who have been there for me that last 7-8 years. On a positive note, just set up an appointment to go talk to someone regularly starting in about 2 weeks. I hope to start ERP (Exposure Response Prevention) therapy for my OCD, which has been the most debilitating to me for way too many years now, and has managed to have full control in every aspect of my life.