Sexism/Feminism/Womanism Discussion Thread Social • Page 11

Kesha seems to be doing so well since releasing the new song. She seems so happy and I'm so excited for her.

 

The Christian extremist Quiverfull Movement, made famous by TV’s Duggar family, is setting up a retreat in Kansas for fathers to set up their pubescent daughters in arranged marriages.

Seriously, this is the retreat's website with pricing plans. Their goal is to get teenage girls (as young as 13) groomed for marriage.

 

So weird. So backwards.

Also, it seems they updated their website with this 'disclaimer' at the top:

And, just a sad reminder of how much this is a common occurrence elsewhere.

Also I kept forgetting to post about this, but I recommend following Women in the World cause it is really eye opening and inspiring.

 

reminds me of this nightmare fuel
Welcome To The Bizarre And Beautiful World Of Purity Balls

 

Nothing to do with what's being discussed rn and it may end up nonsensical and long and rambly

I feel like I set a bad example for lil girls sometimes. I feel like I'm modeling ideas of femininity and what it means to be a girl and a woman and idk how to reconcile it. Like the lil girls love me cause I wear clothes they think are cute and wear makeup, whereas my coworker doesn't wear makeup and is extremely modest and traditional and the way they regard us is very different. I feel like I'm giving them this image to aspire to and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I was on a home visit and the lil girl ran upstairs to put on hot pink lipstick to match mine and impress me. it was cute and flattering but made me uncomfy at the same time. If the girls really love how I look one day they'll tell me they want to be me when they're older and it makes me uncomfy because they're just aspiring to look the way they think girls should, which I feel I'm reinforcing. And then you have the girls being complimented on their outfits every day, when the boys aren't, so it's teaching them that importance of beauty even more. The girls ask me if I love their outfits everyday and of course the boys don't really do that and gah, it's all learned so young. Like I might seem ridic and ott about this since they're so young but it really freaks me out how early this stuff starts and I feel like I'm not helping.

 

IDK, all you can really do early on is make sure they are aware that they have the choice to do/wear whatever they want, and that what someone choses/doesn't chose to wear should not & does not define them (or something?!). It's very difficult because the whole idea of makeup is to make people look "better" - hide blemishes, enhance features etc. - and even young children will probably be aware of that, but at the same time be filtering it through a childs mind(?). So they will be thinking very literally when it comes to the contrast between you and your colleague you mention.
But when they are older they will not think like that - in the meantime you can help them understand that appearance isn't everything etc. If they do look to you as a model of femininity, perhaps you have the opportunity to tell them things you wish you'd heard at that age or something? IDK, i've lost my trail of thought so many times writing this comment

 

Communication could be helpful, talk about your feelings and worries about how they view beauty.

or just come in in sweatpants no makeup and talk about how happy you are mad chill.

 

I get it because as much as I want to pretend I could ignore gender roles if I ever had a daughter I'd totally buy her " girly " things

 

Yeah and I think a lot of it is easy to say they'll grow up and think differently or question gender norms and stuff when they're older but honestly so many ppl don't. For many ppl it's ingrained since forever, starting before birth, and that's just how things are. I feel like it's easier to start younger than undo years of that thinking. I try to undo it with them but I don't think it makes a difference. It's hard to explain to kids so young when they have tons of other outside influences telling them the opposite thing basically.

 

Photographer Documents What Students Wore When They Were Sexually Assaulted

To add to @lightning13 these are some accounts I follow if anyone is interested.

@EverydaySexism
@BitchMedia
@HuffPostWomen
@femfreq
@EvrydayFeminism

 

I just want to rip my hair out sometimes.

 

This is too good lol

 

My Father, Woody Allen, and the Danger of Questions Unasked (Guest Column)

and Shaun White is being sued for sexual harassment

http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/05/shaun-white-is-being-sued-for-sexual-harassment.html?mid=twitter_cut

 

I'm at the point now that everyone is garbage.

 

Might be a trigger warning so just in case.

http://www.businessinsider.com/woody-allen-rape-joke-cannes-film-festival-2016-5

 

http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/05/howard-stern-donald-trump-dad-objectified.html?mid=twitter_cut

and trigger warning rape culture
http://www.teenvogue.com/story/ronan-farrow-woody-allen-rape-culture-upstander

 

Hey, how frequent is it for women to be harassed by exhibitionists?

I was out for dinner with my girlfriend who works at a pharmacy, and her friend, with whom I worked with at a book store a while ago, and they both told me that it's happened on at least more than a dozen occasions each, where they would be speaking to a client, and suddenly the client would either "pull it out" or like... They'd look down, and this person would just have their member hanging out. They seems pretty unphased by it, at least to the point where my girlfriend wouldn't bother telling me because it was so common, and her friend didn't say anything in the ~2 years we worked together.

 

More than a dozen times!? Wooooow. Were any of them ever reported!?

The only professional environments I can think of where that kind of behavior might be acceptable are strip clubs, nudist communities, adult stores, porn sets, etc, and even then it could be considered harassment. Insane that its happening to them at a regular day job, and so frequently.

 

jfc
Wendell Pierce arrested after allegedly attacking Sanders fan

 

Wow I didnt know anything about him but I always get excited when I see him in things and getting work. Wtf.

 

I feel like I agree with whoever said it's about choice. Try and express to them that it's about a CHOICE to wear pink lipstick because it's what YOU like. For instance when they say do you like my outfit instead reply, "do you like it?" and when they say yes, then say "then I like it too" or "that's what matters" etc. idk that's what I would do. I like makeup and see it as a form of self expression and want young girls to too. To see it's not about fitting an ideal or covering blemishes but about art.

 

I think of it similarly but I always have a hard time divorcing it from the fact that wearing it is still holding up certain ideals and expectations, even if I don't want it to be. Idk i think if I was a man I probably wouldn't wear it or be as passionate about it and then I wonder how much of a choice it is at all. But then if I go down that rabbit hole like nothing is a choice lol

 

I'm in a pickle and I don't know what to do. The nurse supervisor in charge of the ER is really inappropriate with me. My very 1st day he hit on me which whatever I brushed it off. Now since we've gotten to know each other, he touches me a lot. I don't like that. When he comes into the lab, he comes up behind me and squeezes my shoulders or rubs my back, plays with my hair, etc. I tell him to stop but he laughs and does it more. It's to the point where I don't want to work the ER anymore and I send someone else when I'm needed. I'm scared to tell anyone (which I'm pretty sure they can see him doing it) because he's in such a high position and I don't want to put my job in jeopardy. I don't really know what to do besides just let it happen.