Woman Accuses Jesse Lacey of Soliciting Nude Photos From Her at 15 • Page 3

Louis C.K. apologizes for sexual misconduct - CNN

 

I guess I'm lucky that haven't been associated with any of this terrible behaviour - so I was more familiar with the court of law type "innocent til proven guilty."

 

nicole made these exact same allegations over a year ago on a post, so nobody should dare think this is trend hopping

 

Looks like Brian took the post down?

 

it's still there

 

Along with the woman's story, this really says it all. I hope she can get the peace she's needed from years of not being believed and that Jesse will address it. Seems like it's for the best the band is ending.

 

Sorry for being so harsh in my reply, but the motivation behind comments like yours is (in my experience) far too commonly sexism/misogyny.

I used to have a similar thought process, I mean anyone can accuse anyone of anything at anytime, right? But the more I read and learned, and the more I examined my own biases, I changed my approach.

Here is some good reading on the topic, though I'm sure there are more places to turn, and quite possibly better ones:

Rape and sexual assault are common. So why don't we believe victims?

 

would love to see kevin devine distance himself from the whole thing and make a statement. i really look up to him for trying to stand up for whats right

 

Tbh, those thoughts can still come up for me when I confront these things. It's like a form of cognitive dissonance. I believe the victims/accusers, but I also believe in the concept of innocent until proven guilty. And it can be hard to reconcile those things, especially when the alleged abuser is someone who means something to you.

 

I'm not defending his, or anyone else's predatory behavior, nor am i saying i don't believe this woman's account of what happened, BUT...

There are instances where people lie about these things. And there are instances where the truth is stretched and very powerful/ambiguous words (i.e., manipulated) are used.

Hopefully he makes a statement, but to instantly call for the band to end or others (Devine) to distance themselves from him is premature.

 

why would this woman lie, especially since her story is consistent with the one she told over a year ago?

 

Attention? I have no idea. I can't explain it, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't happen.

 

As someone who had to bury, then reanimate the corpse of Conor Oberst, I have no idea what the correct course of action is anymore besides just feeling like shit about everything and knowing that my problems are minuscule when placed in context.

 

why do people keep bringing up the 1 in 100 case exception with these scenarios?

 

this fucking sucks.

 

My default position will always be to believe women first. People always say there will be times when people lie, and that may be true, but that doesn't change where I'll start from: believing women when they talk of being abused.

 

Yeah, I'm sure the death threats will be great for this mysterious craving for attention that only affects sexual assault victims

 

One case out of all of them, but we continue to go back to it?

Her story has remained consistent. She is the victim in this and should be believed. Please, stop saying someone is doing these accusations for “attention”

 

Probably closer to 1 in 50,000 at most

 

If the conor oberst situation could never get brought up again it would be sick

 

Also creepy about him hitting on teenage girls around Babylon NY while he had his kid with him.

 

Attention? You're fucking scum

 

probably true, i was being conservative and it's still ridiculous that people think it's worth bringing up

 

I always assumed Deja Entendu to be an album of subverting tropes. An album about "already heard" stories told from different perspectives to make a point and say a message, like Sic Transit being about a kid who lost his innocence, Quiet Things being about how marriages could lead to divorce, and Spin Light showing the bad qualities of touring every day and never establishing solid relationships. I always interpreted Maradona as an extension to that, a song that puts the reveals the horrors one could do in a position of power. Every song on Deja felt like a dark side of every story concept album.


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For the news though, I don't know how to feel. I've backed off from bands in the past due to horrible behavior and never looked back. Better Off, the hardest one for me, was just because they were a promising new band with a new album I really liked, but I shrugged that off almost immediately.

On one hand, Brand New has been my biggest influence in anything ever, besides maybe the Pokemon franchise, and to wake up to this feels like a bullet to the chest, but on the other, I feel guilty for feeling this way as I don't mean to invalidate the experiences of the victims. Me feeling betrayed by the band is nothing compared to the experiences the victims went through. I just feel numb in this pool of fresh information and I don't know what to think yet. I feel like I'm losing a huge part of myself. I play Smash Bros competitively now and there is an entire community I've grown to love over the year that calls me Season, a reference to Sowing Season. It's my second name now. This band has become such an important part of my life but I'm listening to what the victims have to say. That's important and the least I can do.

 

Not sure i could have more tactfully stated it... i'm not accusing her of lying. I'm saying it happens, and people do it.

I think any accusation deserves the nation's full attention, and should be investigated. However, there's a process that should be followed