Why I Deleted the Recent Makeout Video Post • Page 9

Your avatar is the perfect reaction to that post lol

 

I think you also have to think about the context in which those words are being used.

 

You can't really erase the history of what the black community in America has gone through and how various types of oppression have given way to the conditions that are shown in things like rap music. A white person really has no understanding of that and can't properly deconstruct it and find solutions to it.

 

1. We addressed this. It's not harmless.
2. No, they don't, and even if that claim had any basis in reality, due to societal realities it wouldn't have the same implications or potential ramifications
3. Presentation matters. That's literally the point. Way to miss it.
4. If you're a cisgender male using it in a derogatory manner (which, admittedly, is a bit facetious as it's impossible for cis males to use it any other way) yes it does. Again, we addressed this.

 

There's a reason men don't get called whores or bitches. It's because those words are specifically used to disparage women. To use those in a song is exactly 0% different from the derogatory words used against black people, lgbtq people, and mentally handicapped people. There is no reason to defend these words. They do not add artistic value. They just hurt people. I don't understand what's complicated here.

 

I'm not blaming myself. I am being honest about how these things actually happen. It isn't a matter of someone being cold-hearted; rather, it is usually rooted in the material circumstances of a relationship that is flawed.

 

Absolutely, I dont think they were saying that its okay because its okay in rap. I think

I do not pretend to know about all cultures like an insider, but to me, degrading women is just wrong. It shouldn't be okay in some cultures, its wrong in all. Just my opinion

 

Oh, men DO get called those names – but it's in an attempt to "steal away their masculinity" and reduce them to a perceived weaker female sex. So it's still super shitty. These gendered terms always are.

 

Nailed it

 

There is a misogyny problem in general when it comes to our culture. Game of Thrones, for example, uses rape as a mechanism to further the plot and it's never spoken of again. But, the point is, we are talking about this band, not the show. The reference to rap is a shell game to deflect the criticism of a genre that is overwhelmingly white and male. That's the only time when white people care about misogyny.

 

IM NOT SAYING ITS OKAY JESUS CHRIST. I'm saying there are conditions that lead to it that a white person could not understand in the black community. Things do not exist in vacuums. Context exists. If you don't acknowledge this you won't solve anything.

 

But why even bring it up then? What does it add to this conversation about misogyny in a pop punk song? The answer to that question is this:

 

This

 

Did this get a response? I haven't went through the entire thread in detail but it's something I've wondered about to. Not seeing one.

 

I'm not going to write out any checklist, because the moment I do, it'll be held against me no matter what choice I make in the future. E.g. I decide not to post about something and I'll get, "it's not on the list!" or I make a mistake and it's "look what you did!" or if something is in a 'gray' area, it's the common "but it isn't actually what you're describing, unfair!" I've seen how that shit plays out before and it's easier to just say: what gets posted is up to my discretion and that's decided on a case by case by day by hour basis. I don't post about a lot of bands I know write horrific sexist shit, if something shows up I don't know about, the comments are a good place for me to see ... just like in this case. (And I didn't answer before because I don't think the first page of this thread was a good place for a "whatabout..." conversation unrelated to this specific incident, as it would immediately derail the thread and avoid the actual issue being posted about.)

 

I'm kind of conflicted because so many of my favorite bands from my childhood came out with immature dribble like this at the beginning of their careers. People have brought up Blink, Bayside, Brand New etc. While some of those bands older work doesn't stick with me anymore (still love YFW though) I can't help but think (hope really) that this band can wise up from this mentality and come out with something of quality at some point down the line. With a better and more meaningful positive message, because the bands that really stick with me are the bands I can see growth in and god, these kids seem to really need to grow up a bit. I don't hate them for being young and stupid, but I do hope they (soon) learn that this kind of thing isn't okay.


As for the song itself: Hot garbage, nothing appealing about it to me in any way even ignoring lyrical content.

 

My race? Really hope this wasn't aimed at me, I was born to two very strong Latino parents and dont need to be spoken down to...also, sorry for not knowing what black twitter was as I stick to Facebook for social media, kill me for being old (32).

 

It wasn't at you as I didn't quote you it was at white people

 

Good thread, lot of good takes. I was a shitty kid but I learned better, I blame the label for empowering these shitty kids and not getting in front of this at all. Huge missed opportunity.

And the continued excuses of "it's just a song" or "they're kids relax" seem real similar to the responses when a band member in one of these sexist bands gets arrested for assault or outed as an abuser or a rapist. It's never a big deal, you should never care, there's other things to worry about, calm down. From fans of these bands or the labels making money from them, abusing women never seem to be an issue.

 

The "they are young" argument is bullshit. I'm 18. I know enough to know that those lyrics are fucking garbage and these people probably suck.

 

remember when the president used this excuse for his 39 year old son meeting with Russians

 

The "they're just kids" argument has always seemed especially strange to me. Isn't that all the more reason to try to reason with them - which lots of folks online (myself included) tried to do? Grown up misogynists don't just pop up at 25 with a bad undercut and a history of abusing women. These opinions start when they're younger. "They're kids" means I'm more likely to try to be patient with them - not that they should be given carte blanche with being awful.

 

I'll put it like this: sexism is a gateway to a lot of terrible shit. There's a reason why MRA's easily overlap with Nazis. They're of a piece with a culture of oppression that dehumanizes people to their point of functionality, e.g., women as just being for sex and minorities as the depository for the worst conditions of our decaying culture. That it overlaps is precisely why we have to fight it everywhere we see it and not diminish it as just being a "kids thing", because these kids grow up and become part of a world in which ideology can literally kill you.

 

I just want to take a quick second to laugh at how atrocious these lyrics are from their other song:

I told you a million times
Stop blowing up my phone
I’m in the studio in fucking Calabasas
The Kardashians live here
I can’t go back to working at McDonald's Becky
I can’t afford any more of your Sephora addiction!