Mental Health Thread • Page 136

Hey. Congrats on the interview. That's a big thing in and of itself!

When I'm pretty much terrified of something, (and I am beginning to apply for jobs again so I KNOW the feeling) I try to walk myself through it. I write things down (weaknesses, strengths, questions I have). I visualize getting through the interview, just making it to the end, regardless of how it goes. I also try to remember: a solid handshake and continued eye contact. Not staring, but paying attention.

Good luck! You can do it.

 

I had a suicide attempt almost a week ago now (last tuesday). I tried to overdose but luckily in the middle of it freaked myself out and texted a friend. Regaining strength since then. Luckily I have amazing friends and family. Got intermitent FMLA for work so I can call in when I am having a really bad/off day. Also finally going to counseling again on Friday. I have been putting it off for literally years because I hate the process of finding a new therapist- especially if you don't connect with your new one and then are forced to go find yet another one. I used to have an amazing one years ago but no longer live where they are.

Depression and anxiety just really suck. I feel so exhausted and overwhelmed. I hate how foggy my brain is. I also DESPISE the question "well what are you sad about"?

 

Man, this hurts to read! We're in similar situations, but so close! If you ever need anything, please reach out. We're right down the street! My suicide attempt 4 years or so ago was only stopped because the police showed up. I consider myself very lucky to have survived it, but I'd be lying if I said the thoughts aren't there still. Sometimes for reasons that might seem simplistic to others. It's definitely hard to cope with sometimes, but let's make sure we get help together, and be there for each other if needed!

 

Absolutely. I am here for you 100% as well

 

I know life can be overwhelming and exhausting but I'm glad you're still here

 

My dad didn't like my most recent text back to him. It ended with "Goid[sic] bye"... here I was, so reluctant to set a boundary, and dad just went and turned it to 11.

 

I'm just a tightly wound ball of stress, anxiety, and depression right now. Bleh.

 

I always feel weird moaning about my adolescence because I know a lot of people had it way worse with their upbringing, but a can of worms gets opened once in a while and I get bitter about it. And it seems like every time I pine about it I remember something else or connect more dots as to why I am the way I am now, and I get even more resentful. I haven't decided if that's good or bad. I think there is value to looking back on things and realizing the domino effect that wasn't my fault so I'm less hard on myself, but at the same time it like drives me into negativity because I seem to remember things the most and felt them the hardest and I'm kind of bitter about that.

 

I've started to have some real problems lately, and I'm finding it very difficult to be happy. I feel constantly on the verge of tears. I feel like I should let at the very least my girlfriend know, but we've only been dating for a few months and I don't wanna snowball it into the full story of eating disorders, self harm, etc. That's an easy way to scare someone off I suppose.

 

It's also a good way to find someone to confide in though. Honestly, it could take your relationship to the next level assuming she's supportive.

Also, it could be a telling sign of whether or not the relationship is worth it. If she's not supportive for whatever reason, you shouldn't be with someone who can't support and accept who you are. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but I think it's a good honest opinion that will only help you in the long run.

 

My dad went OFF last night. I just let him yell (text) into the wind. He texted again this morning to apologize, but it's...interesting...seeing my father try so hard to be the victim here.

 

My best friend is in the ICU and they don't know what is wrong and I was just there and something scary happened and I have never had to deal with someone close to me being sick or in the hospital and I am not dealing with it very well. Which makes me feel so weak because he is the one going through this and I'm sure he is so scared.

 

I was complaining that all the photos taken of me today showed how big my teeth are and my sister told me to say a positive thing about myself and I couldn't come up with one oop. Which actually kinda surprised me cause I've been less hard on myself lately I thought

 

I potentially got some good news at work. I'm tempering expectations but could mean a decent promotion. Trying not to get my hopes up because the place sure knows how to fuck me but good. Did relieve some of my stress and anxiety when I was told, though.

 

My appointment today with my doctor is at 3:20. I've picked up the phone about 10 times to cancel my appointment. The thought of having to speak face to face about my thoughts and feelings I know are wrong makes me ill.

I'm going to go in there though and try to get his best advice on whether he recommends therapy, meds, or both.

 

Goooodd! You can do it!

 

Made it to my appointment. The doctor said he was very happy I saw him based on how I'v been feeling. He prescribed me a low dose of Prozac and set a follow-up appointment with me. He also referred me to a therapist. I'm glad I went.

 

Your turn @CarpetElf

 

Who?

 

I wish I was just allowed a week to be as sad as I want or something. I hate being at work and feeling depressed and hearing everyone talking and laughing outside of my cubicle, it gives me such a bad headache and all I want to do is cry and nap. I don't even mind working all week, at least work is something. I'm sick of feeling this way when there's no work to do, trying to make up for it with a million projects and ideas and making these fake distractions because I'm not allowed to be depressed. I'd give so much to just go back to the beginning of July.

 

How is it possible to feel alone when you're in a room with people? I get that feeling all the time.

 

I feel the same way. I can't stand being fake with people, but most of the time I have to because the last thing they want is someone actually being honest about how life sometimes sucks.

 

I had to beg a co-worker to let me have a week off from work. He let me have it and I'm so happy to finally get a mental health reset by relaxing with family away from Fresno.

I need it bad.

 

I feel like my demons will eventually consume me

 

been having a lot of personal mental highs and lows ive not said to many in my personal life [frustrating getting others opinions who care [thus strong] but don't really understand, making me question what I know, need that solo time to breathe & think] but I been thinking a lot and since come out with a lil bit of clarity while still lost in the dark... I've just always struggled with being comfortable in my own skin whatever skin that may be at the time to the point sometimes in life in the past I either had no identity and wanted to be invisible or attached to things I liked/was doing for such. at times seeming perpetually in phases.
as I got older it was more so balancing the fact I have such a strong desire for giving/having love/sharing life as well as genuinely not liking people and definitely being nihilistic, and not being forced in either side of attending to either. dancing around with a fake smile cus depression ain't exactly winning the love ramble vs. the recluse suffocating in public, feeling behind bars around people. the fake strong side that knows theres strength unknown but no idea how to wield it vs. the overbearing side that has no idea how to not push away with each touch cus the defense mechanisms are so destructive.

I'm learning that about myself and how to balance, I guess the next step is just fitting that into life/the world. I genuinely am a soft/big hearted person, as well as frustrated/angry, the thing is both sides demand their respect otherwise I don't/didn't function. Balance with understanding I guess.