Manchester Orchestra - A Black Mile to the Surface (July 28, 2017) Album • Page 80

Ice is just a myth.

 

whoa, i just got a fb message from the surfer blood dude's current girlfriend...i'm reading through it now and trying to parse the information together, i'll have an update soon.

 

Yea I was, but i was in a sound proof room with just @ChiliTacos blasting it really close to top volume on 5 sonos speakers haha .. he will vouge I loved every moment. Could be that I was just so excited to hear it, but there are a ton of things that really drew me in.

 

Yeah that's what I thought. Not knocking you because that's really cool and all I just think you may feel different after a few listens or maybe not idk we just met like yesterday who are you again I'm Kenneth

 

Oh yes, about halfway through the record I knew it'd be memorable

 

How did this come about? Did you post on their Facebook and she chose to reach out?

 

i was the top comment on TJ and foxing's facebook, so i assume she got me from there

i ended up deleting my posts on there. from what she told me i'm going to back off from the situation going forward. it's a complicated situation and she was very sensitive to all parties in this situation and basically just gave me some backstory and basically said she understood why i've been doing this and it all makes sense and told me to decide to do whatever i felt was necessary. she also said that she's open to answering questions if anyone else is interested in speaking to her, if you really want to hear more i'll gladly guide you to her. but for now, as i said, i'm standing down from this and won't be commenting further on the allegations other than to guide people to her if wanted.

 

while i'm not going to share the full post here if @Jason Tate wants to see if just to sort of help guide the situation going forward i will gladly send it over to him.

 

I'm pretty curious, only for the fact that they're playing on my stop. I don't know that i want to bother her though. Would you feel comfortable seeing them even after your convo with her?

 

I don't trust family members (or new girlfriends) in cases of domestic abuse.

 

Is this a new girlfriend or is this the girlfriend involved in the domestic abuse? That'd make quite the difference in my opinion

 

this is a new girlfriend that he's been seeing for five years now.

also this is actually the second person (though the first person was a lot more unreliable and i pushed this aside) that i've heard this from, which helps support what she's told me.

 

Oh you beat me to it

 

i don't either generally, but just based on the account and how she's approached it, plus from the input of a few other people i've shared the messages with privately, i'm leaning towards it being truthful. i don't believe that someone who wasn't truly sincere would have said things the way she said it to me.

obviously there will never be 100% certainty but for now i am backing out.

 

Heh. As someone that's been lied to by a lot of abusive people and people that cover up abuse ... I stand by what I said. If I hear from the victim, then I'd possibly feel different. But family and friends of abusers, I just don't trust.

 

very understandable, i don't disagree with you

i'm just sincerely curious though, with that stance. in the incredibly rare situation in which there actually are false allegations, and the victim did make things up, how would you feel comfortable in changing your stance? yes, i know that this is the .01% of times, but if it did happen to be that situation, what would need to happen for you to hear it from someone close to the situation other than the victim and believe them?

 

after seeing the response, it's not something I'll press further but I don't think the victim is discredited, I just think the situation isn't as black and white as it seemed now and without input from the victim, which is unlikely to occur, I don't feel comfortable inserting myself in it any longer. Again, I don't think the victim is discredited at all.

 

Situations like this one and the way to respond are really hard for me.

Do I appreciate Jason's stance of victim response or nothing or is that too hardline?

Do I appreciate Cwhit's evolving stance based on new information or does that weaken his clearly passionate stance from before?

Do I appreciate the more apathetic people in the thread that say it's too complicated and removed from their lives and they don't formulate a staunch opinion (or atleast share it). Or they don't believe it's the platform to have that conversation?

Respect that the subject matter is being talked about and cared about by so many but I feel like I usually end up in th above cycle when the situations are not cut and dry.

 

Also I know how I feel about it is irrelevant in relation to the victims or alleged victims.

 

It would depend on the scenario. There is no specific answer because every situation is different. It would involve some form of talking to/statement from the victim or a victim's advocate, or restorative justice, and it would probably never come from talking to anyone associated with the alleged assaulter. Everyone says they're the small percent of the false accusations, the basic math says they're not. So, I believe victims of assault when they say they've been assaulted. There are things that could change my mind, but given the lies and manipulation I've seen in my own life ... those close to the accused usually have been lied to themselves. And the power dynamic of the entire system favors the accused. As we have seen: The white dude is gonna be fine. (And if that statement came I would be happy with myself and sleep just fine knowing I believed her, and I'd do the same next time too.)

@Dominick and @Anna Acosta have both written extensively on what "believe the victim" entails, and if they wanna chime in again I'm sure their thoughts are welcome.

 

lots of good posts going on here. really appreciate all this discussion going on in here and how civil it all is

 

I just respect that it's a line everyone must draw for themselves. I'm more with Jason here: more recent lover/significant other isn't a source I could trust at face value due to inherent bias. That's not to say she's wrong, or lying, or otherwise, it's just the place my mind rests on these issues due to prior experiences.

I truly hope there's more to it, and Casey and Jake are two people I trust to be critical of the situation. So I won't push it further, but I also am comfortable in the fact that I'm not comfortable or interested in being a fan of Surfer's Blood.

 

Jason smashed my response before I could post mine, but yeah.

 

definitely, i do not care to support the band and become a fan, but at this point where i feel most comfortable is letting it be. i'm not going to push anyone in any direction, just that i am backing out from here on out.

 

Oh I'll never listen to that band or anything, there's just one particular detail in the response that makes me think at the very least she's being 100% sincere, but it's not a detail I feel comfortable sharing in a public forum. Anyone curious or wants more info can pm me or Casey, I'm sure he'd be glad to expand on his viewpoint further