(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 511

I'd rather die hahaha

 

God, I was the same way man haha. I get it. I think I spent enough of my time between ages like 18-22 getting wasted all the time and winding up at party x or bar y that I just got the fear out of me. Probably the only way that mess of a period in my life paid off was getting a lot of stuff out of my system.

 

I'm pretty much incapable of meeting someone new in public and striking up a conversation haha

 

Get drunk bro

 

Not really but a little but of liquid courage is usually the equalizer for me.

 

Even with a drink in me, I still don't feel great about going up to someone I don't know at all. It's already tough for me to be introduced to a friend of a friend at a party hah

 

Yeah that sounds terrible haha

 

I don't drink or talk to strangers

 

Going to shows alone mixed with alcohol definitely helped me break out of my shell and then smash it to pieces and leave it in the shell trash. My best friend in the world is a guy who randomly said something funny to me in line for The Menzingers a few years back.

 

That sounds horrible why would you do such a thing

 

Christ man is this the nightmare thread?

 

LOLLL

But really, I almost think meeting up with a tinder girl is MORE nerve wracking. You each have a chance to fall for your carefully vetted favorite photos of each other and your snappy responses that would likely never have gone down if you didn't have a couple of minutes to think one up. Then you meet and you have preconceived expectations to fall short of.

Whereas, if I walk up to a girl with a ketchup stain on my shirt and say "hope yer burger doesn't make you fart" she knows what kinda treat she's really in for

 

Not one part of that sounds pleasant to me haha.

 

I need like a step by step breakdown of that whole process

 

1) Be depressed enough to be all "it can't get any worse"
2) Be depressed enough to be all "I sure could use some validation"
3) Don't eat all day before you go out that way you have that lack of the usual bloating that fools you into thinking you've lost a little weight. 2% confidence boost there.
4) Don't ever say anything to a prety hooman until you've been in their bubble for like a minute and they have at least noticed you're there. Like waiting at the bar
5) Flash your chorus.fm like/post ratio at them
6) Lie. Only little ice breaker lies tho. eg "I like this song that you like too", or "I'm not depressed"
7) I've had most of my stranger success at concerts and trivia nights

 

8) Don't listen to me because 80% of my love life's history is covered in a thick film of regret and embarrassing failures that make me glad I'm no longer friends with the people who bore witness to them

 

Okay I've got one and three down.

 

SHE TEXTED BACK!

SHE SAID SHE HAD FUN TOO!

 

I'm just going to live vicariously through this thread's positive dating experiences

 

But were there emoji, Nate. WERE THERE EMOJI?

 

Relevant Man Seeking Woman scene

 

SMILEY FACE!

WE HAVE CONFIRMED SMILEY FACE!

AND SHE WISHED ME A HAPPY WEDNESDAY!

 

it's no eggplant but we've at least got something to work with

 

yesssssssssss. this is bubble girl right?

 

She forgot to call it hump day huh