Mental Health Thread • Page 131

Thank you! I just wish society didn't place so much importance on that kind of success.

 

Right!! Plus I just started a new position with the company, and they act like your just suppose to get the hang of it immediately, and I'm a rather slow learner. Yeah, I get major anxiety everyday walking into work. Sometimes I don't think I'm stable for any job, wish I could get a disability check.

 

I think I'm reaching a stage where I'm starting to be a lil more confident and a lil less of a doormat. I'm still an insecure anxiety ridden mess, but I'm reaching more of a "screw it" stage of life. Older people always told me I'd get there some day and I think I slowly am. Just taking things a little less seriously and standing up for myself more. I guess when u deal with so much bs all ur life u snap back eventually lol. I wish I was more outspoken in the moment tho. But I think I'll get there eventually.

 

You guys should read a book called "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck"

 

I've been so sleepy the last few days. I wonder if it's the Lexapro. Yawning constantly, unable to focus

 

How long have you been taking it?

 

Since last Wednesday.

I felt normal until Saturday, which I thought I was just sleepy then because I stayed out late on a date and slept in my car, but I still haven't recovered

 

I was definitely more tired than usual for the first two weeks, but then it started to subside. Keep an eye on it for another week and see if you feel a difference.

 

Today I did two things I've been putting off for anxiety related reasons. I basically had to leave a message for both those things so I don't feel that relieved sense of completion but I did my part initiating it and now I can't beat myself up for not doing it so wooooo

 

I swear half of the anxiety I get is from this forum and stuff I read on twitter.

 

I hope you're doing okay

 

I thought I was doing so well. I was wrong.

I don't even want to be happy anymore at this point, I just want to not feel so shitty about myself that I keep self-destructing instead of getting better.

 

I hate how much I feel pressured to hide my feminine side, especially once I'm surrounded by men. I feel like I'm a coward and a dishonest person.

 

great gif.

thank you. i had a horrible panic attack earlier today. i haven't felt like that in...i don't even know when. i just need to give myself a break sometimes and i don't do it often enough.

 

You are doing well. You are strong.

 

I had a rough shift yesterday. The two days beforehand went without any problems, but yesterday I got overwhelmed. For whatever reason the restaurant was abnormally busy, and when that's the case there's usually two dishwashers.
I was the only one booked, so I kinda started panicking a bit. My boss sent one of the chefs to go back and help me after I shattered a plate. The hot pans in the sink started piling up, and someone made the water too hot so I couldn't deal with it right away.
I have a nasty burn on my arm that blistered, I don't even know when it happened.
Breaking the plate and having the sink full of pans, a container full of cutlery and a never ending stream of dishes left me a bit rattled so I kinda embarrassed myself by crying lol.
They gave me a break and my boss came out to see what was up while I was sobbing on a chair behind the restaurant.
He said "they're just dishes man, they'll get cleaned" and said he didn't know it would've been this busy or I wouldn't have been working alone. I said I just have a bit of anxiety and got overwhelmed, calmed down and then went back and finished the shift.
I just feel kinda weak and I'm just waiting to be yelled at for something, even when people are nice or reasonable in my head it's always them pitying me or something.

On Sunday I actually was called in because they needed an extra man, and it because it was Father's Day was an even busier Sunday than normal. The dude I was working with said he'd have been screwed had I not shown up.

So hopefully they don't hesitate to give me extra shifts after the last one. Goddamn man I'm 22 and crying because of a plate, geeze.

Sorry for rambles. On the bright side I get paid every week, one week is salary and the other the tips. And because it's one of the busiest restaurants in the city it's a pretty big tip %. Which is neat.

 

You don't sound weak at all. Tbh I think you being so vulnerable, open, and honest about how you felt is super strong and admirable. I think they'll respect that a lot. And you finished out and survived your shift which is amazing!

 

I'm just this big fucking ball of crankiness and frustration right now, with myself, with everything.

 

Tomorrow is my first day of meeting with my alcohol counselor. Wish me luck.

 

All aboard the quarter-life crisis train. Thought I stepped off last month but it was only a transfer.

 

ever since I finally got together with my girl and we been around each other 24/7 its like all my terrible thoughts, depression, etc and such are nonexistent. theyre still there, but like... its nullified in a way. like her light is too bright and it illuminates all that dark UNTIL we have to worry about living situation & money with recent things that have happened with her and her job & money. right now we're at my families house and everything has been beautiful, smooth - she made breakfast for my family this morning, getting on great with my whole fam.

its just like a part of ya that was long quiet or thought dead was revived and rejuvenated my soul.

 

My brother in law's platelets are too low. They're gonna find out if it's an error or something bad on Monday and I'm stressing until then!

 

I've felt the same way lately. I've been clinging to whatever I can to pull myself out of the funk, like a good song. Even if it's just for a few minutes. Kind of reminds me that these feelings are temporary and it will level out soon enough.

 

bad day
hate everything and everyone
mostly just sad and tired of dealing with shit

 

This is something I sometimes struggle with too. Lately I've just been owning it and finding ways to outwardly project it and I feel a lot more confident now! I don't think you're cowardly or dishonest, we're all just figuring it out every day.

One of my best friends recently gave me some advice about this: If your guy friends take umbrage with your more feminine qualities (whatever they may be), maybe you should reevaluate what kind of role those people should play in your life.

Hope this helps.