(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 457

I say this all the time. I'm just going to be rude to people who do that from now on. And I encourage others to do it too. Just be snarky like "Thanks for ignoring, that's really great of you. I'm sure you'd like it if someone ignored you too! See ya." or something. IDK. It's just irritating. lol

 

What's the proper etiquette for texting someone you met on Tinder? Specifically, do you think it's necessary to text every day after you've exchanged numbers?

Back story: I matched with this girl on Tinder two days ago and we clicked right away. We exchanged numbers quickly and spent the rest of the night talking. We didn't talk the next day (yesterday), which was fine since I worked all night. I texted her this afternoon and haven't heard back.

This isn't the first time this has happened: meet someone cool, exchange numbers or make plans, don't talk for a day or two, and get ghosted. I'm mostly just afraid of coming off as too aggressive, but I'm starting to wonder if this waiting is coming off as indifferent it uninterested.

 

I've given answers and explained why I think we should stop talking and all it leads to is endless texts and outrage. Conversation will literally go from, "I'm sorry but I'm not really feeling a connection and thinks it's best if we don't meet up" to a response text of "YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME. HOW DARE YOU SAY WE AREN'T COMPATIBLE" and life's too short to contend with that shit.

 

Honestly, what I think happens most often is they found someone else they'd rather talk to / connected with. I know I've had it where I'm having a good / okay conversation with someone and someone I like / connect with better comes along and the first person gets less response or not as fast of a response.

Also, we never know how well the other party is receiving us. We think "we" clicked with them but we really don't know that. Maybe they're great conversationalist with everyone or something.

Or, trying to be positive, she's been super busy and didn't want to respond only to have another long delay between texts again. I have friends who deliberately space out texts by an hour or more so they always have a conversation going throughout the day. Makes little sense to me but whatever.

 

Dating in 2017 sounds exhausting

 

Dating in any time period sounds exhausting tbf

 

Definitely more tiring than swiping

 

In retrospect, I think I had a window with a girl I really liked, but I chickened out and now I think that window is closed. Is there any more depressing feeling?

 

I was planning on going to the beach with this girl in a few weeks. I was getting all excited because maybe there can be something there.

I see her post on a site that she is hanging out with her crush and now I'm just like dang. I really don't want to go on this beach trip now.

 

I think my Tinder stint might be finished soon. It's entertaining but I don't actually wanna date, I don't think. Honestly, I just want friends who I can like make out/fool around with but have absolutely no expectations so not quite fwb. I had that but she got a boyfriend.

I matched with a girl last night and we hit it off and I was laughing really hard during our conversation. Then I asked what she's looking for and we were looking for the same thing and then I gave her my number and no reply lol

 

I want a guy friend like that, but I don't really have any. I was gonna post about it, but forgot lol. The potential guys I wouldn't mind having that type of relationship with don't live close because they moved. I couldn't do random hookups with dudes online because I'm not comfortable around them. At least if it was a good friend and I was physically attracted to them, I could it. As long as they don't cut me out of their life afterward (because thats happened before).

 

Yeah, it's fun. I'm a big cuddler and it was nice to have someone to hangout with and also be cutesy with but only have it mean anything in that moment, if that makes sense. I totally understand the fear of being cut off though. My friend and I made a promise that we'd remain friends if we got a significant other but her relationship is so new that it's hard to say whether or not we will remain close friends or not. I feel like we'll have to because all of our friend groups are so closely intertwined.

 

It's not about them finding a SO, more so not wanting to be my friend anymore. Like he gets what he wants and then no longer wants to speak with me (this has happened more than once).

 

Yeah, just got/am being ghosted by the girl I had been seeing for the last few weeks. I'm kind mad about it, but whatever.

I matched with a girl on tinder two days ago who seems really interesting. says in her bio she is a runner and a socialist feminist. So I message her saying I can either open with a feminist opener or tell her about the old white man in overalls that came into my work that day.

She said she wanted to hear the story about the old dude and that when we grab drinks we can trade openers. I tell her the story and she laughed and I asked when she's free to grab drinks aaaaaaand no response :/

 

I get attached too easily for anything like a semi-fwb to happen successfully (or not dramatically) for me. But I'm not very clingy either. I tend to want to be by myself for most hours of the day when I have time off from school, work, or organizing/activism, so clingy partners do not work out too much. Something like a semi-fwb would be something of interest for me due to, what I assume, the not-so time consuming relationship but I'm just afraid of becoming too attached.

 

This shit is so bizarre. Very similar thing happened to me with a girl I actually met irl. Maybe I read into it too much but why use terminology like "when" if there's isn't real intent?

 

As I was browsing through my "matches" I stumble upon a guy that I hung out with a few times that I met off there, a few years ago. He was a liar. I hope he didn't do the same to other girls and now is back. I'm curious if I should click on his profile or not to see if the lies are still there. I have my visitors disabled so people can't see if I had visited.

 

This is the only time I've ever had it work. I've tried it before and one time it lead to a relationship that didn't work out and another time she had feelings and I didn't. However, with this girl I was very direct from the get-go about what I did and didn't want and she seemed to appreciate that and I think that what allowed our friendship to grow without there ever being the risk of feelings.

 

OMG Yes! that's what gets me, too.

I think i'll wait until tonight and if I don't hear anything from her I'll just message her one more time saying "Hey! How was the rest of your weekend?" or something. My "rule" is usually no more than two texts back to back without a response over a few days.

 

i think some would call that type of terminology use harmless flirting, but it does sting. like, imagine that conversation in real life in a bar or somewhere. a woman says that and winks and walks away or something. it was a nice moment, but maybe that's all it was. i don't think anyone would think it would be smart to chase after her and say, "hey! what did you mean! let's go get drinks!" but that goes back to the debate between online communication vs in person reality and how people handle that.

also remember - the messages that women get compared to men are like 500,000:1 so i think guys are much more likely to overanalyze what someone says because we usually get so fewer messages (i know i've done it )

example: after talking to a girl on OKC for two days i asked how many messages she had received since we started talking and she said, "idek, like 150 or something". when asked if she was talking with anyone else besides me (we were talking about humorous / crazy people we had previously talked to on the site) she said, "yeah, sort of, like 5 guys. some i'm not really interested in though but i'll respond when i'm bored". meanwhile i was talking to just her.

 

Yeah, the friendly texts are a weird thing and I don't know how much to read into it if they don't respond.

The date I had a week ago went really well, we were talking about playing Catan with her roommates sometime, and she told me about the drama with her ex and some other personal things in a way that to me felt like she was wanting to pursue things but wanted me to be aware. Then the next day I texted her "hey, I want to be forward and ask. We're definitely going to keep seeing each other right?" and she responded back with the "I don't know, I want to but I think it's best we take things slow, it wouldn't be fair to you" that got me so wound up on Tuesday. No more texts since that day, and she didn't respond yesterday when I texted her just wishing her a good weekend

Which makes me very insecure about whether we're going to hang out again. Maybe she's too stressed by what she has going on, or maybe after we messed around she felt different about it. Idk, dating sucks

 

Welp. Pretty much what I expected

 

i feel like i'm swimming against the current with online dating i really wish i had a highschool sweetheart then i could avoided all this shit lol

 

Last night a friend was determined that me and bartender had a love connection and she wrote her # on a napkin and told him she'd give him my # when she charged her phone. I was like sis it's kinda his job to be flirty lol. Every bartender I know is like that. It doesn't really mean anything just because I happen to be single. She's very confident that it does tho apparently. Whatevs lol.

 

Who knows, if he's a bartender he might hate going for drinks and offer you a more interesting first date.