Mental Health Thread • Page 123

As of an hour ago I've officially passed 1 whole week without a binge/purge episode. That's the longest streak I've done in over a year. So I guess I have something to be kind of proud of myself about.

 

I have a similar situation with scars.

 

I feel really shaken about what happened after the Ariana concert. I haven't been able to focus on anything else all day. I love her, I love concerts, and people I love live in England. My boyfriend would've been there if he could've afforded it. I know atrocities happen every day all over the world that won't get reported but that doesn't make me feel any less upset. Music is my safe place. That concert was supposed to be one of the most fun nights for everyone there. I'm just so sad.

 

I can't stop feeling like everything that comes out of my mouth is wrong.

 

So my appointment went pretty well. He wants me to do sessions for at least a couple months and wants to try me out on an antidepressant and will evaluate me for ADHD next time, which he says if I have it then I really need to be on medication for it


$ though

 

I scheduled a doctor's appointment for Friday & was intending to finally talk about my issues but I'm honestly considering cancelling it.

 

Mine was actually pretty easy, if that helps.

 

I'm just worried that all that's going to happen is I'll be suggested a therapist or something & they won't actually take me seriously.

 

What's wrong with being suggested a therapist?

 

I just feel like it wouldn't work for me at all & would be a huge waste of time/energy. I should probably stick to going to the appointment anyway but I don't know. I'm feeling nervous about it.

 

One of my mom's friend's lost her 17 year old daughter to suicide a little over a year ago. Since her death, her family created a charity in her name to raise money for mental health education and outreach initiatives for teens. They had a coffee house fundraiser tonight and I went with my mom. My mom's friend made a really beautiful and heart wrenching speech, then her husband got up and performed a song he wrote called "Forever 17" and it was so powerful. Especially since until pretty recently, I spent a long time that thinking it was inevitable that I would kill myself one day.

 

I was unsure about therapy too, but when I finally decided to do it, it was incredibly beneficial. You never know if you don't try.

 

it's always so heartwarming when something good comes out of tragedy or adversity, it's easy to think everyone's awful but then people like your mom's friend aren't

 

Yep it's super inspirational tbh. It's the same with one of my roommates. His brother passed away 3 years ago (also suicide) and since then his mom has basically poured her whole life into an annual charity memorial basketball tournament. It's become a huge thing in our city because in addition to being for a great cause, it attracts some of the regions best university basketball players. They've raised a lot of money with it for a charity called SAMHI. It's amazing how the family created something so positive out of the worst thing that ever happened to them.

 

I always feel insecure with my bff because she has so many friends that seem more interesting than me and she's always busy with them. Cause of this I rarely make plans with her. But since I'm moving out I asked if she wanted to get dinner this weekend as a goodbye thing. She agreed and it seemed good. It was easy and fine and I felt proud of myself. Then she texts me that she's actually maybe going camping instead but she'll let me know.

So like... you planned over our plans and if that falls thru then you'll backup plan me? Mhmmmmmmm. Just makes me feel super awful like I never wanna try with anyone

 

Yeah. I guess I'll just have to see what my GP says first. Cancelling the appointment is just going to lead to nowhere.

 

Talked to my psychiatrist about money and he's giving me a reeeeally good discount on sessions, so hooray I don't have to freak the fuck out about trying to afford that. Gonna wean me off the citalopram first, kinda excited to see how I do after 6 years on it. He prescribed clonazepam for anxiety as needed, which I am not as jazzed about, but I don't HAVE to take it so we'll see.

 

oh damn i know a bully like that. he keeps saying he's a "big loving bear" (uhhh) but I've never seen him being anything than an asshole to people. very condescending and physically gross, like if he has something to say to you, he'll touch you in a "let's talk eye to eye in private" way. exactly like a bully. i hate that kind of person.

 

I have been the "backup" friend all my life and I did actually chose to not try with anyone anymore - it sucks and I have a totally empty life, save for one friend who I am completely a backup-backup for. Always keep trying!

 

It's so skeevy. I had a teacher in hs who was young and "cool" and gained a lot of trust. He had anti bully and safe zone signs hanging up, and would call out the homophobic "that's gay" remarks which was a big deal for the time and just where we live in general. He'd play cool music over his speakers before class and encourage kids to come to him with anything, and a lot of young girls did. Except then he was "dating" students and texting them and stuff. It was so gross. I regret not saying anything when a friend of mine showed me texts they exchanged, but luckily he was let go really quickly.

 

Someone from school I was trying to get to know blocked me on Facebook for no apparent reason, and now I'm wondering if I'm so antisocial that I come off as a creep when I'm actually really trying my hardest to be normal. I mean, of course not, because how can anyone with my level of social anxiety ever come off as creepy when I'm debilitated by how I always constantly think about what other people think of me in social situations? I don't know. I don't want to be one of those so-called "nice guys" who are actually anything but, how they're completely oblivious to how not-nice they are. I don't think I ever gave her the impression that I was making an unwanted move on her. She's in a relationship and they're really cute together and also I'm in no condition to even consider a relationship with anyone right now because I'm such a complete mess. Ugh, I know this is tearing me up more than I should. I've only had like two complete conversations with her online over the course of six months, so like, fuck it, not even worth it. It's just, of course my mind would go "omg am I really that shitty of a person that she'd immediately leave a group conversation where I asked to hang out (with mutual friends from club--with whom she's already closer with than me!) and then block me?" My mom keeps telling me to like more of people's stuff on Facebook to appear more friendly. Apparently that's not working.

 

That sucks man, I know that I used to take it hard if someone unfriended/blocked me on social media (but now I just do not give a flying fuck!), because the worst thing about it is that you do not get a definitive reason as to why it happened. BUT, what this does is make your mind run wild with theories as to why she blocked you that may not be even remotely true. You cannot know the reason (and from what you describe, I cannot confidently guess the reason either) unless you ever see her face to face to ask her, so it isn't worth it to beat yourself up about it. What I would do in your situation is tell myself "who the hell knows" why she blocked me whenever the thought crops up - by consciously making that effort to change your thought pattern you will make it a little habit of sorts that will lessen the emotional impact of this event over time (usually a day or two for me personally).

As for making friends, people like us just need to get out of our heads. I'm someone who has read several books/watched several youtube videos on how to talk to people and they all just led me to realise one thing - these people who are naturally social are NEVER in their own heads about it. They are never thinking "what should I say" or "how will they react to what I say" etc, they're on a sort of autopilot that is genuinely inside all of us - they are able to just switch off because they understand people's internal monologue is what trips them up in social situations. I'm at a point where I can converse confidently with everyone except people around my age (lol, haven't cracked that one yet!) and what got me to this point is just saying whatever is on my mind, because i'm confident that i'm not going to be rude/hurtful/whatever because that simply isn't my intention. Full stop!

 

Really thinking about cancelling my appointment for tomorrow. I don't think they'll help at all. If anything they'll probably make me feel worse & won't take me seriously. Screw it.

 

I would strongly urge you not to cancel.

 

Don't do it man, be open minded and willing to let someone help.